Heartbroken12416 Posted March 17, 2014 Posted March 17, 2014 Hi everybody. So a little over a month ago, I made a post regarding my boyfriend "disappearing" while I was sleeping one night. I was heartbroken and so upset but finally started getting through it the best that I could. For some strange reason, I was still so much in love with him and couldn't let him go, but I still tried my best to get on with my life. So last Saturday (the 8th), I get a text from him asking me to call him. So because I was still head over heels for this guy, and still holding out hope that maybe he'd be back one day, I called him right away. We talked for about an hour and about why he left, why he didn't contact me, how he misses me and loves me, etc.... and things seemed to add up in my head. So because of the things adding up, and me being totally in love with him still, I of course told him how I felt as well. During the phone call, we decided we wanted to try to work things out again and that he would be seeing me soon but wanted to "talk" to his ex (the person he was staying with due to his kids being there "he said") and leave on good terms so that he could be able to see his kids still. So the next morning, I get a phone call from him. He said that he actually got kicked out by his ex because she found out that he had asked me to call him, and he was able to come back. I was SO unebelievably excited!. The whole ride to go get him, I had a smile on my face. Now of course, after picking him up, we talked the whole way back. I told him that I was willing to give him this second chance, but he could not "disappear" on me again. I told him that I wouldn't be able to handle him leaving again. He told me that I didn't have anything to worry about and that the only way he would leave my house again is to go outside to smoke, or hand in hand with me. I was ecstatic. So we got home, and things went great!. Things seemed to be just like they were before. He helped out around the house, we were back in that "lovey dovey" stage, things were just great. So this past Saturday (the 15th), we had a great night. We grabbed dinner, came home to watch some movies and have a few drinks together, and then went to bed. Well while we were in bed, we got into a little "tiff". I wouldn't call it an argument, but we just disagreed on something, so I said I was going to sleep and rolled over. He asked if he upset me, but I just kept saying "I'm going to sleep". So eventually he started falling asleep but I was too upset so I said I was going out to the couch. He kept asking why and if it was something he said but I just kept saying "don't worry about it". I wanted to give myself time to calm down so we didn't get into a full blown argument. So I ended up falling asleep on the couch and that was it. So the next morning, I wake up and turn on the tv because it was still pretty early and didn't want to wake him up. So I waited a while and then figured it was late enough to see if he was awake. So I go in the bedroom, and lo and behold, he's gone. I immediately go into a panic because I'm like "this can't be happening"....I literally thought I was dreaming. So I look all around the house and don't find him anywhere, but what I do find surprises me a bit. The deadbolt on the front door (the only way out of the house, there is no side door or anything), was locked and the only key to the door was in my purse. So I figured he had to be around somewhere. I literally looked all over the place until I found his means of exit.....the bedroom window. He had always slept with it open so when I went into the bedroom and saw it open, I didn't think much of it. It wasn't until I noticed that the screen was missing that I realized what he did. So I looked out the window and found the screen to the window on the ground and footprints leading up to the road. So once again, he pulled this on me. I still can't believe it. The whole week that he was back, I would always express how worried I was that I would wake up or come home from work and he'd be gone and he said I never had to worry about that again. We were actually taking a nap one afternoon together shortly after he came back and I woke up, sat straight up and was shaking and looked over at him, and he was actually awoken by this and put his hand on me and said "It's okay babe, I'm here". I just can't believe that after him finding out how much it killed me that he just disappeared on me one night and left me hanging....and even saying how he was wrong to do that and not contact me, that he could do it again so easily. So needless to say, I'm more mad than hurt this time. I've cried a few times but nothing in comparison to before. And to top it all off, he is back at "her" house. I got a nice little voicemail (I missed her call cause I was looking for him) from her shortly after I realized that he was gone.... But anyway, I just wanted to come here and share my story and get that all off my chest. If you get through this and leave any comments, I really appreciate it.
Jools1968 Posted March 17, 2014 Posted March 17, 2014 I really feel for you and no doubt it is going to be painful to get over this happening again to you.I sometimes believe in giving people a second chance which is what you did! However no one should ever get a third chance. You will have to be strong now to move on from this. I don't think it is you personally that is the problem so please don't blame yourself - in fact I think he does have strong feelings for you. However, as a mother myself, I know how hard it is when children are involved.I imagine he felt torn at wanting to be with you and wanting to keep his family together for the sake of the children. As soon as the slightest thing upset him he was off. It is a very very difficult situation when children are part of the equation. I think it would be great if you could move on from this situation and meet someone else BUT I know how hard this is - easier said than done sometimes. But be strong, focus on taking care of yourself emotionally and physically to try and heal from this so you can move forward. Wishing you luck.
KaliLove Posted March 17, 2014 Posted March 17, 2014 Blech, what a coward! I really hope you don't let him back in this time..if you do he will just keep going back and forth between you and his ex and using your place as a hotel when he wants a break from his ex and his kids. I hope she kicks him out too and that they can work something out where he isn't constantly disappearing and reappearing in his children's lives. That's disgraceful and really unhealthy for them. They're all going to need therapy if he keeps this nonsense up.
stillafool Posted March 17, 2014 Posted March 17, 2014 I hope you know now to not make the mistake of taking him back again. Don't you? 1
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