HKcolon Posted March 17, 2014 Posted March 17, 2014 (edited) I met my ex in 2012. We dated until early 2013. I actually wrote about him in a previous thread on this site, with this profile. I finally felt I was getting over him, when I found out he had given me chlamydia. When I contacted him about it, he swore he never cheated and blamed it on me. I knew it was him though, but moved on and got treated. A few months later, I finally was over him again...until I received a message on Facebook from a woman from his home country. I recognized her, she was his ex wife...I thought maybe he had died. Then she said, "I am his wife. We have 4 kids." She wanted my help gathering information to prove his cheating for divorce (photos, letters, etc). I wanted to help her, but going through all the messages, seeing all the old photos.... I believe it, but feel hurt. I am not good at expressing my emotions. I have hardly shed a tear, but I feel horrible inside. I lived with this man for 6 months, dated for 1 year. He met my family, and told them he would move to my home country with me. We had a pet together, but he probably threw it away instead of giving it to his coworkers like he had said. Now he is back in his home country, I am back in mine. When we were together, the first time we had sex he said, "I need to tell you something. I have a wife." I said, "What?" and he said "I used to be married." and I said, "Oh, that's called ex wife." When I asked him why they divorced he said, "because I cheated." Maybe he was talking about me...He also said he only had 2 daughters. He really had 1 daughter, 3 sons. In the beginning I felt like maybe he was only interested in me for sex, but later it seemed we were really in love. We would go on trips, play games, ride our bikes to the river or ocean and have a drink. I really loved those times, and they were what kept me going many times...because my life has been very bad since I moved to my home country. Before bed I always imagined I was there in the past again, with my ex, smiling and having fun. His wife told me after she showed him the photos, he still denied even knowing me. She said he refuses to divorce her, even though he never sleeps with her anymore and is only ever angry toward her. She said he physically shoved her away to escape the house. I had sent him a short email a couple weeks ago just asking why he lied, and why he stayed long distance so long if he would just move back to his home country anyway. He never replied. How embarrassing I know now my ex never loved me. Now I know why he refused to bring me a flower. I thought it was odd, but it makes sense now. I realize now that the happiest days in my life were built on a relationship of deceit. I do not think his wife will contact me again. I do not think he will contact me again. It must be over, but I feel like it was only yesterday he was my boyfriend. It was not a perfect relationship by any means...actually, he could often be very cruel. He would often become enraged, accusing me of cheating, calling me 'slut', 'liar', 'whore' etc. If only I had known... I guess my life has just gone so downhill since...well, I do not know what to do. Everyday I am sad, but I can no longer remember my past to keep me going because now it just makes me even more sad. I don't know what to do. How do I move past this? How do I move forward, when the only thing that has kept me going was the hope of reliving a life similar to my past? But now that is ruined. Thank you Edited March 17, 2014 by HKcolon I accidentally still called his 'wife' his 'ex' :(
David87 Posted March 17, 2014 Posted March 17, 2014 What a douchebag , he lied to you, he insulted you, he had a wife for God sake. It's a good thing that you are no longer together. Be happy because you dodged a bullet. The nerve he had, I feel sick to my stomach. You should be happy because that horrible man will never be in your life again. 3
Author HKcolon Posted March 17, 2014 Author Posted March 17, 2014 What a douchebag , he lied to you, he insulted you, he had a wife for God sake. It's a good thing that you are no longer together. Be happy because you dodged a bullet. The nerve he had, I feel sick to my stomach. You should be happy because that horrible man will never be in your life again. Thank you for your reply David87. Yes, I agree I dodged a bullet. His wife said maybe he would commit bigamy. I just feel like emotional wreck. I have been so sad. My life has become hell from many things, but I can no longer think of the past to feel happy. It is miserable. What can I think of, if not the past? The future is too unsteady. I loved to think of those pleasant days...
David87 Posted March 17, 2014 Posted March 17, 2014 I know it's hard but look forward because better days are coming You feel this way because you just found out this about your ex. He doesn't even deserve to be on your mind. This will pass with time and you'll find the man you deserve. I can tell from your story that you are a kind and pleasant person . Stay strong and never ever call or text him. (((hugs)))
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