Want to rub it in his face, no matter how much time has past

March 18, 2014

Because as I've said in other posts, taking the high road has always made ZERO difference. I ALWAYS end up friendless. This has happened a FEW times with DIFFERENT friendship groups. It puts me off trying to make more friends. Plus my dumpers have certainly never above doing the same.

You've been writing about this for a LONG TIME. I really want you to listen this time

It seems you have a very high insecurity complex. If you did any revenge, he'd probably laugh at you at how embarrassing it was. Friends are the same way. What good is revenge going to do? Nothing

I dont know how many times, how many languages, or how many post we have to write before it becomes clear. You write one, we respond with the same things, the thread goes away, and you create another one with almost the same exact background on it.

End the cycle. Talk to who you need to, work on becoming a fantastic mother, and quit with the junior high antics.

March 18, 2014

Because as I've said in other posts, taking the high road has always made ZERO difference. I ALWAYS end up friendless. This has happened a FEW times with DIFFERENT friendship groups. It puts me off trying to make more friends. Plus my dumpers have certainly never above doing the same.

How is revenge against your ex going to help you or your boyfriend or your child? It's not. It will only make your boyfriend think you still have a thing for your ex and are still obsessing about him.

March 18, 2014

Yeah it's so easy to say ''let it go'' focus on you, who cares about revenge. Until you are put in such a situation that you need to do something.

Of course the best revenge is to live well and be happy, but sometimes you just can't do that until you get revenge. I'm not saying this is healty, but think outside the box for once.

There's a reason why that line of thinking is nowhere close to the box. Revenge isn't thinking outside the box -- it's being a petulant child.

March 18, 2014

Because as I've said in other posts, taking the high road has always made ZERO difference. I ALWAYS end up friendless. This has happened a FEW times with DIFFERENT friendship groups. It puts me off trying to make more friends. Plus my dumpers have certainly never above doing the same.

So...revenge is supposed to accomplish the opposite? People will want to be around you if you're vengeful?

You have a man who is by all accounts is much better than your ex. You also have a child. If you want new friends, join a social group. This line of "logic" you're pursuing makes no sense.

March 18, 2014

I'm all for revenge.

But, you need to realize that basically you want to make him FEEL something about you. In this case, regret that he let you go and/or treated you badly.

But here's the thing: he doesn't feel anything when it comes to you. Nothing. So, nothing you can do or show him will give you the response you desire.

I've done some doozies for revenge. The punishment has usually fit the crime. I think I described in great detail how I got my loser exboyfriend arrested for an OWI and he never knew what hit him. It was almost a full on commando mission as I hid in the bushes and watched him fail the field sobriety test AND resist arrest.

A friend had a boyfriend who had a 30 year history of cheating on women. He never ended a relationship until he was in another relationship. He did that to her and married the girl. She waited TEN years and then sent a anonymous letter at Christmas time to the wife that the husband was cheating. Remember the wife would have been the Other Woman and ten years previous she KNEW she was the other woman, but poached him.

In the latter example, like I said, the exboyfriend didn't feel anything for his exgirlffriend, but he sure as hell felt something for his wife.

It is a purge for me when I have had revenge. But, like I said, it has to fit the crime and I suggest you come up with one and only one scenario. Focus on what is important to him. WARNING: if you commit an act of vandalism, you need to make certain you are prepared to face consequences if you get caught.

If you are stuck in the circle where you just HAVE to show him how much better you are without him, you might think about getting a couple of counseling sessions. I'm not saying revenge is at all mature, but once I knew I was going to get loser alcoholic popped for an OWI (it took years) I could quite cheerfully be in the same room as he and not give a damn that he was there with the town skank while I had no date. But, I was also able to show through material possessions that I was by far wealthier than anyone he would ever date. That was kind of sweet. I had a nicer car, nicer clothes, made some public donations, nice tech toys, etc. (Separating me from what little money I had and keeping me even poorer than I was was one of his main pursuits while we were dating).

Edited March 18, 2014 by Lady2163

March 18, 2014

I'm all for revenge.

But, you need to realize that basically you want to make him FEEL something about you. In this case, regret that he let you go and/or treated you badly.

But here's the thing: he doesn't feel anything when it comes to you. Nothing. So, nothing you can do or show him will give you the response you desire.

I've done some doozies for revenge. The punishment has usually fit the crime. I think I described in great detail how I got my loser exboyfriend arrested for an OWI and he never knew what hit him. It was almost a full on commando mission as I hid in the bushes and watched him fail the field sobriety test AND resist arrest.

A friend had a boyfriend who had a 30 year history of cheating on women. He never ended a relationship until he was in another relationship. He did that to her and married the girl. She waited TEN years and then sent a anonymous letter at Christmas time to the wife that the husband was cheating. Remember the wife would have been the Other Woman and ten years previous she KNEW she was the other woman, but poached him.

In the latter example, like I said, the exboyfriend didn't feel anything for his exgirlffriend, but he sure as hell felt something for his wife.

It is a purge for me when I have had revenge. But, like I said, it has to fit the crime and I suggest you come up with one and only one scenario. Focus on what is important to him. WARNING: if you commit an act of vandalism, you need to make certain you are prepared to face consequences if you get caught.

If you are stuck in the circle where you just HAVE to show him how much better you are without him, you might think about getting a couple of counseling sessions. I'm not saying revenge is at all mature, but once I knew I was going to get loser alcoholic popped for an OWI (it took years) I could quite cheerfully be in the same room as he and not give a damn that he was there with the town skank while I had no date. But, I was also able to show through material possessions that I was by far wealthier than anyone he would ever date. That was kind of sweet. I had a nicer car, nicer clothes, made some public donations, nice tech toys, etc. (Separating me from what little money I had and keeping me even poorer than I was was one of his main pursuits while we were dating).

You are two weeks early for an April Fools joke.

March 18, 2014

The problem is you desire something that is unattainable.

Revenge is impossible to achieve when they no longer care.

It really is that simple.

March 19, 2014

I'd like to point out that I've also posted in the Abuse forum a couple of times, about a different guy. I never got any legal justice and that sick guy is probably still out there, abusing other young women.

March 19, 2014

I'd like to point out that I've also posted in the Abuse forum a couple of times, about a different guy. I never got any legal justice and that sick guy is probably still out there, abusing other young women.

Yes....many of us are very much aware.

Same advice for you still applies

March 19, 2014

How does your current guy feel about your obsession with your ex?

I'm sorry if you were abused but you need to go to therapy and move on. It's not healthy to dwell on this.

Edited March 19, 2014 by KaliLove

March 19, 2014

How does your current guy feel about your obsession with your ex?

I'm sorry if you were abused but you need to go to therapy and move on. It's not healthy to dwell on this.

I don't think he knows this issue.

March 19, 2014

I don't think he knows this issue.

Yes, I know. It was a rhetorical question. I was asking to try to get the OP to see how unfair this is to her current boyfriend, and how she's letting it rule her entire life, and how the only one who will be punished by this is her unless she gets help.

March 21, 2014

Like I just said in another thread, you can post the same thing here, but at different times and get completely different answers.

This has become the weekly Sugarkane thread lol.

Again, its over. He doesnt care about it anymore. He has moved on as you should have too. If your current boyfriend ever read all your threads and realized your obsessive nature with your ex, I can promise he wouldn't be happy.

Again, it doesnt matter what he is doing. Focus on you. This isn't some Carrie Underwood music video. Its life. Revenge is for children.

March 21, 2014

Maybe I'm not that happy with the answers?

You've been writing about this for a LONG TIME. I really want you to listen this time

It seems you have a very high insecurity complex. If you did any revenge, he'd probably laugh at you at how embarrassing it was. Friends are the same way. What good is revenge going to do? Nothing

I dont know how many times, how many languages, or how many post we have to write before it becomes clear. You write one, we respond with the same things, the thread goes away, and you create another one with almost the same exact background on it.

End the cycle. Talk to who you need to, work on becoming a fantastic mother, and quit with the junior high antics.

March 21, 2014

Well if they think I'm crazy, the feelings mutual. I've had this dumper and another act much worse with psycho Behaviour.

I completely agree which is why she should do it. Since this is an ongoing theme for the OP and she seems obsessed, maybe she should go ahead and lay it all out there so the old bf can tell her he thinks she is crazy and take out a restraining order, and the new one can see what an obsessive loony he has a child with. Nothing about this Behavior, especially since she has a newborn baby is healthy and if she continues down this path of holding onto resentment and a need for revenge, the new bf will determine correctly that she isn't over her old bf and he is just the schmuck who is being her rebound. She clearly is still in love with her ex. They brought a child into this.....let her pour her heart out and let this thing finally be dealt with since she can't seem to control her anger or get over a man who had so little regard or care for her.

Knock yourself out, OP. I am pretty sure you might lose everything for one stab at making someone who doesn't care about you feel like you are a pathetic loser by confronting him with your new baby and bf. Obviously, if you were really over him and happy, you wouldn't be this obsessed. The disrespect you are showing your current bf and your child is unfathomable...when new life and a supportive man can be trumped by an old flame who threw you away, it is time for you to let your bf know so he isn't some cuckhold to your obsession.

Sincerely, you need some help because you have a baby with another man and you are obsessed with the old one to the point where you make these threads disregarding the blessings you have in your life now.

SMH,
Grumps

March 21, 2014

Everytime I take the high road, I end up completely friendless. Over andover again. It's hard reading similar posts on here, where the mutual friends don't Take sides with a psycho/ sociopath.

Huh, why? It sounds incredibly worrisome that you are still thinking of revenge on an ex when you are with a man who loves you, AND you have a child with said man.

Let it go. Grudges only hurt the person who carries it.

Edited March 21, 2014 by Sugarkane

March 21, 2014

I don't use my current SO and child. I genuinely care for them both and went through hell past 12 months over my child. I would never choose them over someone.

I am supporting her. I have watched this obsession with her dumper play out over a long period of time. She is a good person, I agree, but she wrote something here in which I think could be detrimental to her new life and to her own psyche. I agreed she should play out this obsession because it is the only way she can get help. Being supportive is helping her to see what she has right in front of her....imagine for just a second, David, you have a new baby with a woman you love and she is still obsessing about her old flame who treated her very poorly as I recall. How mean and disrespectful would that feel to you? What if she actually used you and your new baby to try to get attention from this old flame even if it is in the guise of being proud of her new life? She's been here a while and I have been reading her obsessive posts for a long time.

This is support, because if she doesn't focus on what she has because of an obsession and deals with her feelings, she could lose it all. No one who is in a healthy stable place in their life with a newborn and a loving man needs their ex to notice anything because their focus isn't on them anymore. If I didn't care, I would enable her to ruin her life instead of trying to get her to see another perspective so she can release these detrimental emotions for an ex and focus on the blessings she has.
Best,
Grumps

Edited March 21, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

March 21, 2014

Maybe I'm not that happy with the answers?

If you're not happy with the answers, then change the questions. Meaning work on yourself so you dont have to ask the same questions. You've been getting almost the same exact answers for a year now. You want "revenge" and tired of taking "high roads" and whatever, but again, its not worth it.

Let it go. Talk to who you need to, focus on your current BF, quit obsessing over the ex, and be a good mother. Friends and BF come and go.

March 22, 2014

I know it's not worth it, yet taking the high road and ending up friendless, has left me friendless A FEW times now. I'm SICK of this happening AGAIN. And once I had an ex friend, new friends verbally abuse me, despite me takimg the high road. I don't understand everyone's reasoning on here, when I've much worse done to me by dumpers.

If you're not happy with the answers, then change the questions. Meaning work on yourself so you dont have to ask the same questions. You've been getting almost the same exact answers for a year now. You want "revenge" and tired of taking "high roads" and whatever, but again, its not worth it.

Let it go. Talk to who you need to, focus on your current BF, quit obsessing over the ex, and be a good mother. Friends and BF come and go.

March 22, 2014

I know it's not worth it, yet taking the high road and ending up friendless, has left me friendlerevenge and times now. I'm SICK of this happening AGAIN. And once I . d an ex friend, new friends verbally abuse me, despite me takimg the high road. I don't understand everyone's reasoning on here, when I've much worse done to me by dumpers.

Then they arent your friends. Simple as that.

Its not everyone's reasons on here....its called being a respectable adult. If you want to stoop to junior high antics of revenge and jealousy, then go right ahead. Dont expect much respect from people. In life or on here.

Take the higher road. Be an example to your kid

March 22, 2014

In similar situations in the past, they were also my friends (not my ex bf). Taking the high road changes nothing. So where's the respect for doing so? I always end up excluded and never talk to again. While the other person who lies and cheats, even got people who didn't know me, to verbally abuse me. Even though they knew my ex best friend, for only weeks. This sort of thing has happened in multiple friendship groups.

Then they arent your friends. Simple as that.

Its not everyone's reasons on here....its called being a respectable adult. If you want to stoop to junior high antics of revenge and jealousy, then go right ahead. Dont expect much respect from people. In life or on here.

Take the higher road. Be an example to your kid

March 22, 2014

Everytime I don't say something, I end up excluded every single time. Not even a hello.

March 22, 2014

It's really hard to do the right thing when others take the low road and yet everyone respects them and still keep all the friends.

Then they arent your friends. Simple as that.

Its not everyone's reasons on here....its called being a respectable adult. If you want to stoop to junior high antics of revenge and jealousy, then go right ahead. Dont expect much respect from people. In life or on here.

Take the higher road. Be an example to your kid

March 22, 2014

It's really hard to do the right thing when others take the low road and yet everyone respects them and still keep all the friends.

The universe always tends to unfold as it should. They can hang out and all be douchebags together, but it doesnt make them better people than you. You're child deserves better than that. You can make decisions on your own anymore. You have another life to think about. Would your child think highly of you that you associate yourself with people that wont even be your friends because you dont act like them? Doesnt sound like friends to me....

March 22, 2014

If people really did disrespect others who lie and cheat, I would never have this problem, especially multiple times.

The universe always tends to unfold as it should. They can hang out and all be douchebags together, but it doesnt make them better people than you. You're child deserves better than that. You can make decisions on your own anymore. You have another life to think about. Would your child think highly of you that you associate yourself with people that wont even be your friends because you dont act like them? Doesnt sound like friends to me....

Edited March 22, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

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