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Posted

I am a strong introvert.

 

 

I do have limited free time completely to myself and it is a choice whether I see someone in a week, or actually get that time.

 

 

But, I'm starting to be annoyed people other than me and a few people I've known for many, many years exist in the world, no matter how cool someone is. And that doesn't bode well for the whole dating thing. :laugh:

 

 

On the other hand, I have inclinations not to be alone forever as much as I like being alone in the short-term. If I could skip dating, and be straight in a long term, comfortable relationship with a kick-ass person who I know very well, and who knows me very well, that would be pretty sweet.

 

 

It's not likely to happen when I'm fighting every urge to throw my cell phone into a lake, forget the world, and head into the woods for an extended time. I've been single for 5-6 months. Dating less than that... I haven't met anyone who I'd not consider a cool and worthwhile person- haven't been used, haven't been hurt, none of that - and I'm not trying to explore every option that presents itself, I'm being rather judicious--- and I'm already burned out anyhow. (This is by far the longest I've been single in my life, despite being 30, so I suppose I never have had to learn how to manage it all... and I'm much busier than I was last time I was dating.)

 

 

How do other introverts handle it?

Posted

I don't know how I do it.

 

I used to think like you but I realized the more I go out the closer I am to finding him. The other alternative would be to wait for him to fall into your lap. I burned out all the time and I always felt defeated at the end of each date with a guy I thought was a bust but I changed my mindset about dating so that I can enjoy each meeting for what it is. I leave my expectations at home.

 

Think about turning your draining experience into a pleasant ones.

Oh, and dating other introverts also helped me.

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Posted
I don't know how I do it.

 

I used to think like you but I realized the more I go out the closer I am to finding him. The other alternative would be to wait for him to fall into your lap. I burned out all the time and I always felt defeated at the end of each date with a guy I thought was a bust but I changed my mindset about dating so that I can enjoy each meeting for what it is. I leave my expectations at home.

 

Think about turning your draining experience into a pleasant ones.

Oh, and dating other introverts also helped me.

 

 

 

It's not that I feel the dates are busts, even. Just don't enjoy dating even with great guys. I miss alone time. I miss friends.

 

 

It might make it worse that while I haven't been single much, my last relationship was long distance for the last year of it... and I got very adjusted to that.

Posted

What's wrong in being single for 1 year? 2-3-4 years? You take a break and you concentrate on something else. Life is more than just about romantic relationships.

 

I was single for 8 years. I invested myself in my career, build myself up financially, build stronger and better relationships with my family and my daughter, hit the gym and build a killing body, I have learned a great deal about myself during those years and THAT makes me a better life partner.

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Posted
What's wrong in being single for 1 year? 2-3-4 years? You take a break and you concentrate on something else. Life is more than just about romantic relationships.

 

I was single for 8 years. I invested myself in my career, build myself up financially, build stronger and better relationships with my family and my daughter, hit the gym and build a killing body, I have learned a great deal about myself during those years and THAT makes me a better life partner.

 

 

I have no opposition towards being single, really. It actually sounds very nice.

 

 

But, I do tend to be goal focused. Do I ultimately want to be single, or do I ultimately want to be in a relationship with a cool guy? (Not just any relationship, of course. Never felt the need to settle. No desire to be in a relationship with someone just to be in one. I do have a desire to find a good relationship with someone very suitable) What steps are most likely to end in that conclusion? I am almost 30.

 

 

It's not as if I have not had a life or gotten to know myself very well, either. I don't frame myself around other people.

Posted

You avoid burn outs by taking breaks.

 

When I did online dating I would have a profile up 1 week, no more. I would make contacts, go on a couple of dates, if it didn't work then I took a 3-4 weeks break then went back. I avoided over-exposure and It also allowed the crowd to change.

Posted
You avoid burn outs by taking breaks.

 

When I did online dating I would have a profile up 1 week, no more. I would make contacts, go on a couple of dates, if it didn't work then I took a 3-4 weeks break then went back. I avoided over-exposure and It also allowed the crowd to change.

 

 

Sounds like a good OLD strategy. I'd stay on a little longer... maybe two weeks in order to screen a little before meeting. Then yea, take a break if the people you meet in that time aren't interesting.

  • Author
Posted
You avoid burn outs by taking breaks.

 

When I did online dating I would have a profile up 1 week, no more. I would make contacts, go on a couple of dates, if it didn't work then I took a 3-4 weeks break then went back. I avoided over-exposure and It also allowed the crowd to change.

 

 

I did online dating with my profile up 5 days first, and 2 days the next time. (Twice this year, I started on New Years)

Though that doesn't help the "IRL" interest.

Posted

Dating Burnout?

 

I'd like to get to that stage...

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