isisisweeping Posted March 17, 2014 Posted March 17, 2014 I am a strong introvert. I do have limited free time completely to myself and it is a choice whether I see someone in a week, or actually get that time. But, I'm starting to be annoyed people other than me and a few people I've known for many, many years exist in the world, no matter how cool someone is. And that doesn't bode well for the whole dating thing. On the other hand, I have inclinations not to be alone forever as much as I like being alone in the short-term. If I could skip dating, and be straight in a long term, comfortable relationship with a kick-ass person who I know very well, and who knows me very well, that would be pretty sweet. It's not likely to happen when I'm fighting every urge to throw my cell phone into a lake, forget the world, and head into the woods for an extended time. I've been single for 5-6 months. Dating less than that... I haven't met anyone who I'd not consider a cool and worthwhile person- haven't been used, haven't been hurt, none of that - and I'm not trying to explore every option that presents itself, I'm being rather judicious--- and I'm already burned out anyhow. (This is by far the longest I've been single in my life, despite being 30, so I suppose I never have had to learn how to manage it all... and I'm much busier than I was last time I was dating.) How do other introverts handle it?
meeji Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 I don't know how I do it. I used to think like you but I realized the more I go out the closer I am to finding him. The other alternative would be to wait for him to fall into your lap. I burned out all the time and I always felt defeated at the end of each date with a guy I thought was a bust but I changed my mindset about dating so that I can enjoy each meeting for what it is. I leave my expectations at home. Think about turning your draining experience into a pleasant ones. Oh, and dating other introverts also helped me.
Author isisisweeping Posted March 18, 2014 Author Posted March 18, 2014 I don't know how I do it. I used to think like you but I realized the more I go out the closer I am to finding him. The other alternative would be to wait for him to fall into your lap. I burned out all the time and I always felt defeated at the end of each date with a guy I thought was a bust but I changed my mindset about dating so that I can enjoy each meeting for what it is. I leave my expectations at home. Think about turning your draining experience into a pleasant ones. Oh, and dating other introverts also helped me. It's not that I feel the dates are busts, even. Just don't enjoy dating even with great guys. I miss alone time. I miss friends. It might make it worse that while I haven't been single much, my last relationship was long distance for the last year of it... and I got very adjusted to that.
Gaeta Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 What's wrong in being single for 1 year? 2-3-4 years? You take a break and you concentrate on something else. Life is more than just about romantic relationships. I was single for 8 years. I invested myself in my career, build myself up financially, build stronger and better relationships with my family and my daughter, hit the gym and build a killing body, I have learned a great deal about myself during those years and THAT makes me a better life partner. 1
Author isisisweeping Posted March 18, 2014 Author Posted March 18, 2014 What's wrong in being single for 1 year? 2-3-4 years? You take a break and you concentrate on something else. Life is more than just about romantic relationships. I was single for 8 years. I invested myself in my career, build myself up financially, build stronger and better relationships with my family and my daughter, hit the gym and build a killing body, I have learned a great deal about myself during those years and THAT makes me a better life partner. I have no opposition towards being single, really. It actually sounds very nice. But, I do tend to be goal focused. Do I ultimately want to be single, or do I ultimately want to be in a relationship with a cool guy? (Not just any relationship, of course. Never felt the need to settle. No desire to be in a relationship with someone just to be in one. I do have a desire to find a good relationship with someone very suitable) What steps are most likely to end in that conclusion? I am almost 30. It's not as if I have not had a life or gotten to know myself very well, either. I don't frame myself around other people.
Gaeta Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 You avoid burn outs by taking breaks. When I did online dating I would have a profile up 1 week, no more. I would make contacts, go on a couple of dates, if it didn't work then I took a 3-4 weeks break then went back. I avoided over-exposure and It also allowed the crowd to change.
RedRobin Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 You avoid burn outs by taking breaks. When I did online dating I would have a profile up 1 week, no more. I would make contacts, go on a couple of dates, if it didn't work then I took a 3-4 weeks break then went back. I avoided over-exposure and It also allowed the crowd to change. Sounds like a good OLD strategy. I'd stay on a little longer... maybe two weeks in order to screen a little before meeting. Then yea, take a break if the people you meet in that time aren't interesting.
Author isisisweeping Posted March 18, 2014 Author Posted March 18, 2014 You avoid burn outs by taking breaks. When I did online dating I would have a profile up 1 week, no more. I would make contacts, go on a couple of dates, if it didn't work then I took a 3-4 weeks break then went back. I avoided over-exposure and It also allowed the crowd to change. I did online dating with my profile up 5 days first, and 2 days the next time. (Twice this year, I started on New Years) Though that doesn't help the "IRL" interest.
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