kgreatie Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 Everyone seems to have some justified end to a relationship... except for me. He just fell out of love with me all of a sudden, with no warning signs. I never knew. He taught me true love and said words to me I dont think anyone else will ever say to me. I'm truly terrified I'll never find someone better than my ex. He was perfect for me and I still can't imagine myself with anyone else. I think about him and miss him every single day. One minute I hate him for being so heartless and leaving me and the next, I'm holding myself back from texting him and begging him back. I'm terrified of getting married some day and having them leave me out of the blue like this relationship. I'm so scared that nothing will ever compare to what I had. Sometimes I feel like being dead would be better than the constant anxiety, fear, loneliness and depression I feel all the time 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 Someone 'better' is someone who wants to be in a relationship with you. There's not just one person for everyone..there are lots of people you will be compatible with. Just give yourself some time to heal. You'll get past the sad stage and move on to the anger stage soon enough. Lots of people's exes just fall out of love. It's perfectly normal and natural. It's no reflection on you in any way. People grow and change..that's just life. You're going to be just fine..I promise. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Harradin Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 Its natural to think that way, something very important has suddenly vanished from your life and you have to adapt to it. If you keep yourself busy, time flies by and you think of them less and less until the point you suddenly realise you hadn't thought about them in days and you couldn't care less! At that point you realise you can get someone better and your ex wasn't as perfect as you previously thought! Link to post Share on other sites
Author kgreatie Posted March 17, 2014 Author Share Posted March 17, 2014 Someone 'better' is someone who wants to be in a relationship with you. There's not just one person for everyone..there are lots of people you will be compatible with. Just give yourself some time to heal. You'll get past the sad stage and move on to the anger stage soon enough. Lots of people's exes just fall out of love. It's perfectly normal and natural. It's no reflection on you in any way. People grow and change..that's just life. You're going to be just fine..I promise. Thanks . It's been a month post break up and I'm still crying about him. I feel weak and pathetic and he probably doesn't miss me. I'm still so hurt and I wish I could still have him.. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 Everybody grieves at their own pace. You will get there. For now focus on you. Do things to change your world so they don't remind you so much of him. Redecorate your living space. Take a new route to work Just make a change. In time you will feel better. Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 Many people here, myself included, have been confused, frustrated and hurt by the person they care about more than anything in the world. How they just change their mind. Lose those feelings. It is devastating to say the least, but we will all get past it in time. Can it happen again? Possible. There's no guarantees. But it's a risk we all have to take... 1 month is a great start in the right direction, but TBH, by the sound of your post, it will probably be a while down this road... Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 In a month or two you'll feel much better, I promise you that. Link to post Share on other sites
4everalones Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 If you take time for yourself, if you heal the right way, if you work on your shortcomings and make yourself a better person, if you manage to be happy again on your own, you will certainly attract someone way better than your ex. You'll attract someone who will want a relationship with you, and would never want to leave your side. You have to go through the pain though, you have to stick to No Contact and make yourself the happy, confident person you were before the relationship. We have all be there, we know how you feel. But I promise you that if you do things the right way, there will be light at the end of the tunnel, and you'll come out of this breakup a stronger a better version of yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kgreatie Posted March 17, 2014 Author Share Posted March 17, 2014 Many people here, myself included, have been confused, frustrated and hurt by the person they care about more than anything in the world. How they just change their mind. Lose those feelings. It is devastating to say the least, but we will all get past it in time. Can it happen again? Possible. There's no guarantees. But it's a risk we all have to take... 1 month is a great start in the right direction, but TBH, by the sound of your post, it will probably be a while down this road... Thanks I should probably mention what I'm doing to try and take my mind off, so it doesn't seem like I'm always crying haha. I've started looking into meditation, Buddhism and just overall trying to connect to my spiritual side. I've started going to the gym and I hang out with friends and go to work as much as possible. I'm getting a new pet so I can direct my love and attention to it. Despite what I've been trying, the memories are always on repeat in the back of my mind. I was in love with him and I may never stop loving him but someday I'll be okay living without him, even though I want him back more than anything Link to post Share on other sites
RDawg Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 There is no guarantee that you will meet somone better. Maybe you will, maybe he will be so fantastic that you will forget all your current hurt and you'll move to the suburbs and have three lovely children. On the other hand maybe all future partners will suck even worse. Maybe they will cheat on you and give you an STD. Who knows? There are no guarantees in life and there is no such thing as getting what we deserve. That doesn't mean you shouldn't embrace the moment and use every opportunity to live life to the fullest squeezing every drop of happiness out of it as you go. It's a challange but what other choice do you have? Link to post Share on other sites
Author kgreatie Posted March 17, 2014 Author Share Posted March 17, 2014 There is no guarantee that you will meet somone better. Maybe you will, maybe he will be so fantastic that you will forget all your current hurt and you'll move to the suburbs and have three lovely children. On the other hand maybe all future partners will suck even worse. Maybe they will cheat on you and give you an STD. Who knows? There are no guarantees in life and there is no such thing as getting what we deserve. That doesn't mean you shouldn't embrace the moment and use every opportunity to live life to the fullest squeezing every drop of happiness out of it as you go. It's a challange but what other choice do you have? Uhh.. well if I wasn't already pessimistic about my future, I am now. Thanks? Link to post Share on other sites
Author kgreatie Posted March 17, 2014 Author Share Posted March 17, 2014 If you take time for yourself, if you heal the right way, if you work on your shortcomings and make yourself a better person, if you manage to be happy again on your own, you will certainly attract someone way better than your ex. You'll attract someone who will want a relationship with you, and would never want to leave your side. You have to go through the pain though, you have to stick to No Contact and make yourself the happy, confident person you were before the relationship. We have all be there, we know how you feel. But I promise you that if you do things the right way, there will be light at the end of the tunnel, and you'll come out of this breakup a stronger a better version of yourself. this makes me feel a bit better. I hope someday someone loves me as much as I love them 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 I've started looking into meditation, Buddhism and just overall trying to connect to my spiritual side. Good choice. I have done this myself. I recommend the Eckhart Tolle book, 'The Power of Now'. It is a great first step on this journey I'm getting a new pet so I can direct my love and attention to it. Another good idea. Luckily I already had the best pet ever Man without him, I would have lost if fo sho!! Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 this makes me feel a bit better. I hope someday someone loves me as much as I love them The thing is... you cannot find your happiness in someone else. You have to give that to yourself, then no one can take it away. Love yourself the most. Don't expect someone else to give that to you. Nothing and no one is forever... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ponchsox Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 There is no such thing as "better." Better is your own mental creation and not reality. Treat each relationship as it's own and take it for what it is. Link to post Share on other sites
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