lemonlegs Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 (edited) Hi everyone. I was wondering if someone could offer Me some insight/advice on my situation. I'm 22 and my boyfriend is almost 25. We've been together for 2 years. The issue here is that my boyfriend has these grand dreams of moving far away. Initially he mentioned wanting to move to the UK, which left me saying "yeah I'd love to, but it isn't realistic" so that idea dissipated. Then when I first graduated from university last summer and was struggling to find a job, I talked of moving to the west coast because generally, job opportunities are better. Now he's all on board for that but here's the problem: I HATE living at home with my parents. I do not get a long with them at all, they often tell me my boyfriend can't come over and if we want to "play house at their house, we need to get our own place" and now that I'm making money that's what I want to do. Except now my boyfriend has his heart set on moving across the country and refuses to move out in our city because he sees it as a "waste." Yet he can't move out West for another 8 months because he has to finish his apprenticeship, his best friend is getting married, etc. So now I'm either forced to wait 8 months and be absolutely miserable at home (I CANNOT afford to move out alone, and also it's not fair to a roommate for my boyfriend to be over all the tme cause that's exactly what would happen) or I somehow move out and he just moves away and that's it. That's basically what he's alluding to. I thought he'd be open to compromise but he flat out said I am NOT moving out in this city and for me to "do whatever I want." He's mad because I did agree to this plan but that was before I stopped and realized how crap my home life is and how it's not even a guarantee we will be able to move in 8 months.... There's no specific reason for moving there.... He MAY find a job in his trade and I'll be stuck doig something random thanks to my liberal arts degree. So all this waiting this move, while being completely miserable, may not even work out in the end. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. He talks about wanting to be with me forever, but yet he knows I am not happy and is set on where he wants to move, and when, without any consideration for what would help my situation out. It makes me sad that he seems more invested to moving somewhere for the hell of it than to make my situation a little easier. Alls I want is to either move out now in our city or move away sooner than 8 months from Now - neither of which he is open to. So I'm losing either way. Sorry if this is all over the place. I'm very frustrated and typing on my phone. Edited March 16, 2014 by lemonlegs
KatZee Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 I know he's SAID that he sees being with you forever and all that, but just look at his actions. His actions are to move without you, he doesn't care what you do, "do what you want," etc. He's not acting like someone who wants to be with you for the long haul. Is this even a person you'd consider having an entire life with anyway? A guy who can't communicate properly, have productive conversations, make concrete plans together? If he wanted to be with you, he'd make it work, compromise and find a way to be together. Not just act hard headed like he's doing now. 1
KatZee Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 You're the woman. You follow your man wherever he goes not the other way around. :lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao: You've GOT to be kidding me, right? Women should NEVER follow a man around. NEVER. Planning for a future together is a MUTUAL decision. Not one person doing whatever the hell it is they want to do while their partner acts as a lackey. 1
pickflicker Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 Can I ask why moving to the UK is not practical? You're both young, presumably at the beginning of your careers, no children - why exactly is it impractical? I'm not dating do it, I'm just wondering why you're against the idea. My brother and now sister-in-law did the "move to a completely different place" for a few years, it made their relationship stronger. It was a great growth exercise for them both.
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