bjrs2011 Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 I love her and she loves me, we are planning about getting married but this has happened a lot lately. She wants me to tell her everything about how I feel but every time I do, she gets upset and then "apologizes" in a rather sarcastic way and it's obvious she doesn't mean it, so I always end up saying how sorry I am because i feel bad and don't want her to be upset with me. We have always been kinda mean to each other sometimes, we never mean it but ib the last few days she had been meaner than she used to be and it started to bother me a little. Last night I told her this and she flipped, she told me how I never see the nice stuff she does for me and that I make her feel like an awful person. This, of course, made me feel terrible, so I apologized and told her to not take it the bad way and that I was so sorry because she's the best girlfriend anyone could ask for... to which she said "I'm an awful person, maybe you deserve someone that treats you better" and then "apologized" but it was obvious she didn't mean it, then she went to bed. I wasn't even upset when I first brought it up, I honestly didn't expect it to be such a big deal! Things like this have been happening very often lately and it's becoming very frustrating!!!! It makes me cry.
ThatMan Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 Trust me you read here that it does not get better. As life goes on you'll eventually learn to say no to people like her. If relationships really do feel so painful then maybe the only solution is to walk away. It might not happen today but it will happen. I can tell there is no middle ground with her at all. We can all understand this no matter how brief your message was. She seems unable to reconcile the fact that she's behaved in ways that might be hurtful to you. Life is neither all disastrous or absolutely wonderful. You can still love a person very much but still occasionally do things that hurt them. She struggles coming to terms with deciding between being a woman who is awesome and entirely good versus an awful person. There is no middle ground for how she perceives herself. She will eventually regard you in a similar fashion.
Author bjrs2011 Posted March 16, 2014 Author Posted March 16, 2014 By any chance, do you pee sitting down? She's obviously cut off your balls. Yes, I do because I'm not a guy. No need to be rude. She just apologized for getting upset last night, uhm, that always happens. She gets upset and apologizes for acting that way hours later.
TaraMaiden Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 You know these so-called 'marriage plans'...? Shelve them. you both need counselling/therapy. Why is she such a contrary bitch? Why do you put up with it? Either get these issues seen to, or this relationship will stay dysfunctional, skewed, unbalanced and frankly, not in any state whatsoever to consider making legally permanent....
central Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 She's showing contempt for your feelings. Contempt is THE biggest predictor of relationship/marriage failure, based on extensive research. You are on the path to failure and just don't know it yet. You have the chance to get out now before it's too late - I suggest you do so.
Author bjrs2011 Posted March 16, 2014 Author Posted March 16, 2014 I put up with it because we have been together for 3 years and this has happened for the a little more than a month. I actually want to sit down with her and talk today, I know we are going nowhere if she keeps being that way. I love her but I will have to walk out, for the sake of my mental and emotional sanity.
d0nnivain Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 Don't get married. Work on your communication. If she thinks you don't see / appreciate / acknowledge the nice things she does for you make a point over the next few weeks to praise, compliment & thank her. Then revisit the issue of her twisting everything when you can point out how you have given her what she asked for.
bubbaganoosh Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 I put up with it because we have been together for 3 years and this has happened for the a little more than a month. I actually want to sit down with her and talk today, I know we are going nowhere if she keeps being that way. I love her but I will have to walk out, for the sake of my mental and emotional sanity. Then you better really talk it out. Right now your getting a preview of what life is going to be like with her. Her losing her temper and you saying "I'm sorry". That's not healthy and if it isn't delt with now, it will get worse. Stop saying your sorry if you didn't do anything wrong. I will become a unbreakable habit if you don't.
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