waiting4u Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 What does this even mean? Went out on a date with a gorgeous man and did some kissing. When I saw him at the gym, he says "Let's hang out / Let's chill, yeah?" And I said "yes, absolutely." He texts the next day, I miss it, then next day some mild back and forth texting that's cut short by the fact that we're both at work. DOESN'T ASK ME OUT. So, I write him off as "not interested." Then, last night (4 days later), he texts he's been out of town and wanted to "drop me a line." In what follows, he says "Let's hang out / Let's chill, yeah?" And I'm thinking he's ridiculous so I acted silly and then told him I had to go (basically didn't give him a chance to ask me out). Should I continue engaging with this guy, or does he basically just see me as a hookup? I like him, I just don't know why he acts like a freaking teenager. We are both in our 30's.
deathandtaxes Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 Two things - they want to bang or they want to go hang out with you somewhere. But if they're suggesting that you two just hang out and don't actually pitch a date idea, that's so weak sauce. Before writing the guy off, you can ask the guy if he wants to take you out on a date proper. 2
HappyLove Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 Sounds like a waste of time. Amazing how immature some 30 year olds are. BUT, just to make absolutely sure you can see if he wants to take you on a proper date. I mean how did you make it to the first date? I'm guessing he just wants you back at his place in that case, waste of time.
Author waiting4u Posted March 16, 2014 Author Posted March 16, 2014 I just dont understand how anyone misses a text?? Even if you didnt see it during the day.....how in the world do you not see it later on? ESPECIALLY when someone JUST met a guy/girl that they are attracted to and interested in. Wouldnt 99% of people check their phone at least a couple times a day?? Wouldnt most people use their phone for other things, and notice they have a text even if they didnt hear the notification? It was 8:30 at night, it was Monday and had been a long day, I was asleep. Seriously.
soLoveIS Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 What does this even mean? Went out on a date with a gorgeous man and did some kissing. When I saw him at the gym, he says "Let's hang out / Let's chill, yeah?" And I said "yes, absolutely." He texts the next day, I miss it, then next day some mild back and forth texting that's cut short by the fact that we're both at work. DOESN'T ASK ME OUT. So, I write him off as "not interested." Then, last night (4 days later), he texts he's been out of town and wanted to "drop me a line." In what follows, he says "Let's hang out / Let's chill, yeah?" And I'm thinking he's ridiculous so I acted silly and then told him I had to go (basically didn't give him a chance to ask me out). Should I continue engaging with this guy, or does he basically just see me as a hookup? I like him, I just don't know why he acts like a freaking teenager. We are both in our 30's. I understand your feelings. But, if you like the guy then this shouldn't matter "in the begging stage of dating". Maybe he is trying to act COOL and is nervous (positive thinking). If he continues to do this and it is a turn off (negative side) to you, then move on. And try a more mature guy. The guy I am dating said the same thing, fortunately I knew what it meant. He ended up being more mature in many areas than I. He and I get along great and I am having fun. Good Luck
topaMAXX Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 Sounds like a waste of time. Amazing how immature some 30 year olds are. BUT, just to make absolutely sure you can see if he wants to take you on a proper date. I mean how did you make it to the first date? I'm guessing he just wants you back at his place in that case, waste of time. It sounds like both the OP and the guy are very immature. OP, if this guy is 30 and very good looking, he has tons of options. You are one of his hookup options. Congrats!
topaMAXX Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 Sounds like PUA to me. Good looking guys don't need PUA.
Leigh 87 Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 It sounds like both the OP and the guy are very immature. OP, if this guy is 30 and very good looking, he has tons of options. You are one of his hookup options. Congrats! The OP is also good looking.
Hello_is_it_me Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 Are you the type that likes to be able to put a label on what your relationship is with a guy? Casual dating, getting to know each other, serious dating, FWB? If so, I would ask him. But the problem with asking....it can scare away the other person. Some people do not like nailing down a relationship status with a label. They like to live with wiggle room, freedom to come and go as they desire. I always like to be upfront and open, but I know that many people would rather live in a world of games and hints to project their intentions. I just dont understand how anyone misses a text?? Even if you didnt see it during the day.....how in the world do you not see it later on? ESPECIALLY when someone JUST met a guy/girl that they are attracted to and interested in. Wouldnt 99% of people check their phone at least a couple times a day?? Wouldnt most people use their phone for other things, and notice they have a text even if they didnt hear the notification? Agree. If I text someone and I don't hear back til the next day I assume they aren't that into me. Maybe he downgraded his interest in you and is still attempting to throw out feelers (albeit cautiously)
Author waiting4u Posted March 16, 2014 Author Posted March 16, 2014 @Leigh - even if I wasn't, lol, I should congratulate myself for being a hookup option?
topaMAXX Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 The OP is also good looking. Do we know this for sure or is this only her opinion?
Author waiting4u Posted March 16, 2014 Author Posted March 16, 2014 Who flipping cares? Why is it important to this conversation? Beauty is based on perception anyway. This guy is "gorgeous" to me. He might be ugly to someone else.
hasaquestion Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 Who flipping cares? Why is it important to this conversation? Beauty is based on perception anyway. This guy is "gorgeous" to me. He might be ugly to someone else. Three things can be going on with this guy: 1. He's swamped with important things to do and cannot fit you into his schedule. 2. He's genuinely interested in you but trying too hard to play a game. 3. Serious dating has an opportunity cost, in the form of the other people one could be pursuing. He cannot justify to himself the opportunity cost of being serious with you. Do you really want to pursue this guy in any of those scenarios?
topaMAXX Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 Who flipping cares? Why is it important to this conversation? It's very important. If the guy is way better looking than you and knows it, then he is likely just looking for sex. Also, his looks will determine how many options he has. Beauty is based on perception anyway. False. Beauty is universal, especially when it comes to men. All women "prefer" men that are tall and good-looking. All men prefer women with a beautiful face. This guy is "gorgeous" to me. He might be ugly to someone else. Not likely. He is most likely desired by many women.
travelbug1996 Posted March 17, 2014 Posted March 17, 2014 He is playing games. Opt out and he'll figure it out all on his own.
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