4th OLD date in a row where the girl looked NOTHING like her pics

March 16, 2014

I've went on dates with 4 girls from various online sites over the past month and not one looked like their pics, unless you consider a grade 9 yearbook photo relevant to a 28 year old???

The one tonight was slick - all her pictures on the site were a blend of recent head shots (some flipped, as her beauty mark switched from side to side depending on the pics lol) and old pictures from the neck down.

She added me to bbm and an hour before the date changed her profile pic to one which showed a more recent body shot - giving me a last chance to bail.

I don't necessarily consider first dates much of anything (just two people meeting up for a drink with no expectations) so I went ahead and met her.

The last ditch profile pic was generous too!!

Wowzers!! BUT - she was nice and we chatted for 2-3 hours.

So....LADIES...WTF?

Sure, I make sure the lighting is ideal for my pics so I may end up looking better in them than I will on the street, but going to lengths I've seen from these 4 girls is CRAZY!

WHY?

March 16, 2014

My bigger concern is why you are attracted to and responding to a ninth grade photo if you are an adult around twenty eight years old?

G

March 16, 2014

My bigger concern is why you are attracted to and responding to a ninth grade photo if you are an adult around twenty eight years old?
G

Figure of speech as an example, none actually used a grade 9 picture but the same year difference had been used by all of them.

Sounds like you do this too...

Girl #1 - Curvy and trim pics - tall, with a growing pot belly in person.

Girl #2 - Tall and fit pics - short with a huge ass in person.

Girl #3 - Normal 32 yr old in pics - Worn out, ridden hard and put away wet 45 yr old in person

Girl #4 - Curvacious 30 yr old in pics - Damn near 300lbs in person.

At least 10 year old pics across the board, or other trickery done.

I am just asking why YOU girls do it?

Edited March 16, 2014 by Mo_Do

March 16, 2014

Huh??

I don't do this. All of my pictures are within the last year and give an accurate impression. I'd be afraid to have someone to go on a date with me only to have them show up, realize I'm not as advertised, and totally flake or disappear as a result. I'll just save the time and go out with guys that want what I've got to offer.

That being said, I'm slender and have been so all my 29 years. But still. I mostly use pictures that "show me in my best light" but a couple that show flaws. It will weed out the guys only in it for a perfect 10. I make sure I have a picture that shows how little chest I have. Boob guys need not apply. Lol

Not sure why you're having this experience. Are they free or pay sites? Maybe try to find pictures that have caption mentioning when they were taken?

And.. Seeing as how this has happened with 4 girls now, think it's possible you are reading too much into those photos? Girls generally put the best images out there. Adjust expectations accordingly. Maybe you're putting a little too much emphasis on physical appearance? Have you given any of them a shot despite being kind of disappointed compared to your original perception?

Edited March 16, 2014 by OhThatGirl

March 16, 2014

Nope, I don't do this.

My OLD pic when my boyfriend first saw me on the site was only about a week old. Just a normal nice picture of me

He actually liked my looks even better in person.

March 16, 2014

Figure of speech as an example, none actually used a grade 9 picture but the same year difference had been used by all of them.

Sounds like you do this too...

Girl #1 - Curvy and trim pics - tall, with a growing pot belly in person.
Girl #2 - Tall and fit pics - short with a huge ass in person.
Girl #3 - Normal 32 yr old in pics - Worn out, ridden hard and put away wet 45 yr old in person
Girl #4 - Curvacious 30 yr old in pics - Damn near 300lbs in person.

At least 10 year old pics across the board, or other trickery done.

I am just asking why YOU girls do it?

Us girls? Be glad I am concerned about pedophiles, somebody has to be. I am a man so I take things people say quite literally so if you said ninth grade, you meant ninth grade.

Really, are you curious or is this a thread to make fun of others? On the off chance you are really curious and haven't quite grasped empathy for others, I will try to give this a shot. Online or in the real world, people's motivations for trying to put their best foot forward and get their needs met even if they are in denial or are completely aware it isn't true is universal. I don't even use OLD, haven't dated in years and I still can guess possibilities on why people do this.....because it is human nature to create opportunity for a stab at happiness, or frequent sex, or marriage, of a family, or someone to eat a burger with occasionally.

They know they aren't what they used to be. They know that photo doesn't look like them but they hope they can show you a glimmer of who they feel like inside, or who they wish they could be or the person who has more than just looks to offer. They have been knocked down and disappointed and yet they know they are good people with lots to offer even without looking like their twenty year old self. They know they have one shot to get close to someone real and try to desperately find someone who isn't going to treat them like their exes or like men/women around them. Women and men lie and post outdated photos because they are trying hard to find someone and they know they won't even get a hello with photos of how they look right now.

Is it correct behavior? Of course not. Is it self defeating? Yes. We all like to think we would never do something like this, but life has a way of making liars of us all.

Life has been rough to some people and maybe they have been rode hard and put away wet but if they just go sit in a corner and wait for the end, then they might miss something very tangible with another person. You did the right thing with your disappointing dates, so just continue to be nice when this happens and have some compassion. Be grateful that you still retain your successful glow and have aged well. Be happy that life hasn't been so hard that you have to resort to old photos to present the best side of yourself. The why doesn't really matter, because for every person who does it there will be a different story. That is life.

Best,

Grumps

Edited March 16, 2014 by Grumpybutfun

March 16, 2014

Lol this is why during texting, I send a picture of myself to them, with me doing something goofy or just saying hi. That way I can ask for one back and confirm things.

March 16, 2014

My pics are less than a year old.

The latest two were taken 15th Feb.

Men post up photos that don't reflect how they look as well.

I met someone once who main photo was 10 years old and he thought nothing of it.

Another guy..I've no idea how old his photos were but he was a good 4 stone heavier. I walked past him three times and didn't recognise him he called out my name just as I was about to leave. I had just figured he wasn't there.

If your focus is photos it's always best to focus on the photo you find the least attractive.

Remember also that some things are hard to show in a photo.

I have a little tiny tummy - its small but it's there - it doesn't show in any of my photos though and mine were taken by others people while I was dancing or sitting chatting. Mostly I didn't even know the photo was being taken.

March 16, 2014

Men do it too! Every man in OLDing is "athletic", ummm not with that gut and double chin buddy! They manage to take these AMAZING Brad Pitt looking photos and show up 50 pounds overweight, receding hairline. It's just something deceitful people do. I get that everyone wants to show their best online but when you start posting pictures from several years ago and pictures showing this beautiful jawline when you really have two or three chins you are deceitful. It's stupid anyway, if your going to meet up with people they will figure it out!

Oh the best are all the men who claim to be 6 foot tall and they are barely 5'8". I mean what idiot lies about their height? That you CAN NOT change. Yes, you can gain and lose weight but height? The sad thing is that it's a shame people feel such a need to lie because when you meet in person it's like well you still don't look so bad with those two chins, why lie? I've given people the benefit of the doubt because I just want a good person I can get over looks but these deceitful posters have ALWAYS turned out to be deceitful in other aspects as well while dating.

You have to look at the least flattering photo, that's usually the most accurate pic.

The last guy I dated online was drop dead movie star gorgeous. He contacted me. I was thinking wow! He lived far away so I suggested we Skype. Imagine my shock when I see the receding hairline, wrinkles, a lot bigger than his pictures. Oh well. Yep, he turned out to be a jerk too.

Edited March 16, 2014 by HappyLove

March 16, 2014

Us girls? Be glad I am concerned about pedophiles, somebody has to be. I am a man so I take things people say quite literally so if you said ninth grade, you meant ninth grade.
Really, are you curious or is this a thread to make fun of others? On the off chance you are really curious and haven't quite grasped empathy for others, I will try to give this a shot. Online or in the real world, people's motivations for trying to put their best foot forward and get their needs met even if they are in denial or are completely aware it isn't true is universal. I don't even use OLD, haven't dated in years and I still can guess possibilities on why people do this.....because it is human nature to create opportunity for a stab at happiness, or frequent sex, or marriage, of a family, or someone to eat a burger with occasionally.

They know they aren't what they used to be. They know that photo doesn't look like them but they hope they can show you a glimmer of who they feel like inside, or who they wish they could be or the person who has more than just looks to offer. They have been knocked down and disappointed and yet they know they are good people with lots to offer even without looking like their twenty year old self. They know they have one shot to get close to someone real and try to desperately find someone who isn't going to treat them like their exes or like men/women around them. Women and men lie and post outdated photos because they are trying hard to find someone and they know they won't even get a hello with photos of how they look right now.

Is it correct behavior? Of course not. Is it self defeating? Yes. We all like to think we would never do something like this, but life has a way of making liars of us all.

Life has been rough to some people and maybe they have been rode hard and put away wet but if they just go sit in a corner and wait for the end, then they might miss something very tangible with another person. You did the right thing with your disappointing dates, so just continue to be nice when this happens and have some compassion. Be grateful that you still retain your successful glow and have aged well. Be happy that life hasn't been so hard that you have to resort to old photos to present the best side of yourself. The why doesn't really matter, because for every person who does it there will be a different story. That is life.
Best,
Grumps

Thanks for making me feel like a prick buddy!

I like to think I am an empathetic person, which is why I go through with these dates. But there has been times when the girl bails on me mid date "I have to run" or on eHarmony when they block you before you've even sent them a note.

Its not all rainbows and lollipops but I am not going to be the schmuck when its my turn - I am not into that.

March 16, 2014

It happened to me with the last guy I was supposed to go on a date with. Luckily we exchanged facebook details so I found out he was at least 40 lbs heavier than looked in his old photos.

I think it's just overweight people in general. If they were better at facing reality, they probably wouldn't be so big in the first place. They would do something about it rather than emotionally eat and keep getting depressed.

March 16, 2014

Wouldn't be such a big problem if everyone didn't make such a huge hubbub about looks.

Personally I don't have a problem with ladies carrying a few extra pounds - and all I am looking for is a level of attraction. I don't want a perfect 10 supermodel. When I come across those profiles I dont even message them, its just a waste of time in the long run.

However, as long as these dating sites use peoples pictures as the main attraction its going to stay that way.

March 16, 2014

Well, I've met three women from a dating site. One didn't have a profile picture and well let's just say there was good reason I suppose. Another looked exactly like her photos (except she wore glasses instead of contacts because of an eye injury she was getting over). And another looked much better in person.

I've never had someone deceive me with their photos. But I figure that might be due to the age group I'm trying to date. But maybe not.

When I reactivate my profile I'm going to change my age to 31, see if that gives me any better luck. I don't have to worry about out of date photos though...

March 16, 2014

When I did it, I tried very hard to be accurate and showed several friends pictures... to the point where one friend went on my Facebook profile and chose pictures as substitutes. I didn't even have makeup on in most of them. (To be fair, I seldom do in person either.)

Everyone I met was quite pleased, at least.

March 16, 2014

I think it's just overweight people in general. If they were better at facing reality, they probably wouldn't be so big in the first place. They would do something about it rather than emotionally eat and keep getting depressed.

I think THIS is ridiculous.

March 16, 2014

Only one girl of the 15 or so that I've been out with has willfully misrepresented herself. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, but if the people show themselves as outright liars, I don't see how they think anything good can come of it. It represents a giant lack of judgment if anything else. Do these people really think you won't notice if you're 20 lbs heavier / 20 years older / 4 inches shorter than advertised? Not only are people who do this liars, they lack foresight, and I'll also go as far as to say that they're inconsiderate for knowingly wasting someone else's time and perhaps money. The thing about OLD is people very clearly can display the parameters they're looking for, which they have every right to do. If you lie to include yourself within them, I don't see much good coming from it.

Given the anonymity of this forum, I'd actually like to hear from some people who knowingly misrepresent themselves and their thought process in doing so. I imagine it's something like "I just want to get my foot in the door and maybe then they'll be impressed with my personality." It must be tough if the first thing the other person learns about you is that you're a liar.

March 16, 2014

I have heard people say this, including friends of mine who are doing OLD. Why would anyone who planned to actually MEET a person put up an out of date photo? Do they not think people will SEE the difference in person? Not to mention, if someone is going to categorically reject me because I am a 12 instead of an 8 from 5 years ago....why do I want to waste my time? Plus, we have some fundamental honesty problems from the start.

That said, is it mean that part of me, when I read snotty comments about a woman's weight from other women, that I secretly wish that said snotty catty women end up having some thyroid meltdown and suddenly know what it's like to balloon a could of sizes and be looked at with disdain? Sometims a little empathy and humility is way more attractive than the honor of fitting into size 0 hooker jeans

March 16, 2014

That said, is it mean that part of me, when I read snotty comments about a woman's weight from other women, that I secretly wish that said snotty catty women end up having some thyroid meltdown and suddenly know what it's like to balloon a could of sizes and be looked at with disdain?

Emilia was spot on with her comment. I agree with her. And guess what? I have a thyroid problem. I am not fat either. Why? Because I take my thyroid meds and count my calories and exercise. Taking thyroid meds isn't like taking magic weight loss pills. My endocrinologist says that most of his overweight thyroid patients take the pills but not his advice for diet and exercise. He loves me!

I met a man who in his pics had dark hair with a bit of gray at the temples. When we met, his hair was snow white.

It bugs me when a man with old pics from years ago says, "I haven't changed that much." Let me be the judge of that.

Edited March 16, 2014 by FitChick

March 16, 2014

Thanks for making me feel like a prick buddy!

I like to think I am an empathetic person, which is why I go through with these dates. But there has been times when the girl bails on me mid date "I have to run" or on eHarmony when they block you before you've even sent them a note.

Its not all rainbows and lollipops but I am not going to be the schmuck when its my turn - I am not into that.

I certainly did not think you are a prick since you showed kindness to these people. If I thought you were insincere, I wouldn't have bothered to present any other perspective to you. Kaylan, who does use OLD successfully, had a good idea to weed out these people. Texting a current time stamped selfie might be useful in not wasting your time or the other persons time.

Look, man, I don't appreciate deceit either....time is something that everyone wishes they had more of so I can certainly understand your frustration especially with the amount of times this has happened. I don't think people intend to make you a schmuck, they just become desperate to change the trajectory of their own lives and lose focus. Not your issue, I agree, but also was a good excercise in compassion which you displayed by not tearing them a new arse for trickery and running out of there like your head was exploding.

G

March 16, 2014

Someone should go make an OLD account, and put a photo that makes them look overweight, and than when they meet up, the person will be shocked to find someone slim and fit I wonder what type of effect this will have haha

March 16, 2014

I don't post old or misrepresented photos of myself. I actually look better in my recent photos anyway.

But don't restrict this to women... I have the exact same problem with men. Why do men do this? I wish I could post the two photos of the last guy I dated (one on his match profile; the other on his facebook page - the latter which I didn't see until after our date). In the Match photo he was AT LEAST 30 years younger and 80 pounds lighter than in the second one. And even the second one was being generous to what he actually looked like.

March 16, 2014

Heh you would be surprised how many guys don't look like their pics.

I recently met up with an obese guy that only had head shots. You couldn't even tell from his face.

March 16, 2014

Emilia was spot on with her comment. I agree with her. And guess what? I have a thyroid problem. I am not fat either. Why? Because I take my thyroid meds and count my calories and exercise. Taking thyroid meds isn't like taking magic weight loss pills. My endocrinologist says that most of his overweight thyroid patients take the pills but not his advice for diet and exercise. He loves me!

I met a man who in his pics had dark hair with a bit of gray at the temples. When we met, his hair was snow white.

It bugs me when a man with old pics from years ago says, "I haven't changed that much." Let me be the judge of that.

I also have a thyroid problem and am not fat. I just am not a big fan of the whole "let's bash another woman" thing...." It's a tact and kindness issue

March 17, 2014

A friend of mine has been experiencing the same story with the women he's met on OLD..He says he never met one woman in person that turned out to be better in person..Never happened..

There is a saying I like to use in business..."Its better to under promise and over deliver"...I suppose they have never heard of it...

TFY

March 17, 2014

A friend of mine has been experiencing the same story with the women he's met on OLD..He says he never met one woman in person that turned out to be better in person..Never happened..

There is a saying I like to use in business..."Its better to under promise and over deliver"...I suppose they have never heard of it...

TFY

Unless you're playing spades...

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4th OLD date in a row where the girl looked NOTHING like her pics

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