picnicinthepark Posted March 15, 2014 Share Posted March 15, 2014 The death anniversary of my ex's grandfather is approaching and I need advice as to whether or not it would be appropriate for me to contact her. I was very close to her family but never met her grandparents since they were in a nursing home suffering from dementia and Alzheimer's. She was very close to him and I was with her and comforted her when he passed about a year ago. We were together for almost 5 years and its been over 2 months since the BU and about 5 weeks of NC. I've been doing better but she's always on my mind. I'd like to offer words of condolence and be there for her but I'm hesitant that this will set me back. Something along the lines of: "Thinking about you and your grandfather today. I hope you're doing well." In terms of what I'm expecting to accomplish from this... I want her to know that I still care for her but this may just push her away. I don't know... NC has been going well except for when she recently liked a few posts I made on Instagram while on vacation then unfollowed me shortly after. I don't know what to think of that either... What do you think guys? Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted March 15, 2014 Share Posted March 15, 2014 No. (10characters) 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Strength in Healing Posted March 15, 2014 Share Posted March 15, 2014 Hell no, don't. You're grasping at straws to break NC. Now, if you REALLY want to heal fast, you contact her and say it's a shame it was her grandpa instead of her. The hell that will ensue will guarantee the anger stage comes early all around. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted March 15, 2014 Share Posted March 15, 2014 Strength put it perfectly. You are grasping at straws. This WILL cause you a LOT of pain if you send that text. I'm sure she has people around her who are comforting her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mummyjonno Posted March 15, 2014 Share Posted March 15, 2014 The death anniversary of my ex's grandfather is approaching and I need advice as to whether or not it would be appropriate for me to contact her. I was very close to her family but never met her grandparents since they were in a nursing home suffering from dementia and Alzheimer's. She was very close to him and I was with her and comforted her when he passed about a year ago. We were together for almost 5 years and its been over 2 months since the BU and about 5 weeks of NC. I've been doing better but she's always on my mind. I'd like to offer words of condolence and be there for her but I'm hesitant that this will set me back. Something along the lines of: "Thinking about you and your grandfather today. I hope you're doing well." In terms of what I'm expecting to accomplish from this... I want her to know that I still care for her but this may just push her away. I don't know... NC has been going well except for when she recently liked a few posts I made on Instagram while on vacation then unfollowed me shortly after. I don't know what to think of that either... What do you think guys? Exactly what everyone else said. No no no no no She's not your problem anymore and neither is this anniversary. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ordinaryday Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 you are just looking for excuses to break NC. When someone dumps you they are saying they dont want you in their life anymore - that includes BOTH the good times and the bad times. so no you dont break NC. and on the one in a billion chance you get a text from her saying something like "hi, it is the anniversary of my grandpas death today, Im not doing well" you respond back with "I'm sorry to hear that, hope things get better. but it is not appropriate for you to contact me for support considering you dumped me" and then you ignore all future correspondence from her unless it is about getting back together. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 No, don't do it. It's not your job to comfort her anymore. It seems weird to just sever ties like that, but that's what happens. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 Please don't make contact, it will set you back emotionally. Keep moving forward. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lifegoezon Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 What they all said. And NO NO NO! Link to post Share on other sites
Author picnicinthepark Posted March 16, 2014 Author Share Posted March 16, 2014 Thanks for the advice guys. I should know better... Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 If it was the death, sure. But for the anniversary, no. Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 Thanks for the advice guys. I should know better... Don't beat yourself up..you did the smartest thing you could do. Instead of just going ahead and doing it, you came here and posted and resisted texting. That shows strength. A lot of people here do not have your willpower. You should be proud of yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sooshi Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 It's thoughtful of you to remember this anniversary, but like the others said, no. Don't say anything. Just wish her well in your heart and let it be as it is. Link to post Share on other sites
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