ldnstar Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 So heres my first post, its a bit of a long story (yes its a girl at work one)..... This has been going on for ages, off and on for just over a year. I got quite friendly with a girl who started in a different department. We started by just by just taking on fb, swapped numbers and started chatting more and more, in and out of work. I'll say now she has a boyfriend, this is where you all stop reading and tell me to stop now right? lol Anyway because of this i never ever saw it as anything more than friends, even tho from then until now she tells the world that shes unhappy and wants to leave him. We went out a few times after work, nothing like dates or anything, just friends, but over time we started getting closer and closer. She tried to kiss me but i pulled away as i didn't want to go there knowing she has a BF. We never really spoke about it and just carried on as normal. This goes on for a bit until one time we go out for some food and drinks, it felt like a proper date, nothing happened, we had a cuddle but thats it, after it felt a bit weird as i could tell she felt bad and we stopped talking for a bit, i decided to completely back off. Forward to a work night out, we're both there and end up getting quite drunk, she trys to kiss me again, this time i kiss her back, i shouldn't have i know but i did. After we we're fine with it and put it down to too much drink. From there its been a bit up and down, ive tried to stay away as much as i can. We argue like a married couple, its proper love hate, i think its because theres so much tension there. Well its since happened again, this time we wasnt totally smashed, we knew exctally what we were doing and it wasnt just a drunken mess, shes always taking "if we got together" ect, the whole company say how good we look together, how we should hook up ect. Shes a bit of a flirt and probably does like the attention but there is something there, its clear for everyone to see. My problem is this, she has a bf so surly if she wanted out that much she would have by now? Maybe she thinks i woudnt be interested to is playing it safe? I honestly dont know if i would be interested, im quite confused. We get on like a house on fire, we can both completely be ourselves around each other, i dont think theres anyone else i feel as comfortable around. She drive me nuts sometimes but i do like her. We've been messing around for ages and i kind of want to just say to her, basically if you leave your bf and you want me then we can do it. I dunno if its a good move or a terrible one. Thoughts?....
Barbarossa Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 She just wants her milk and cookies too. If I were you I would forget this woman and find someone who does not have a boyfriend. If she ends up breaking it off with the BF then you could go for it just remember she cheats.
Tina747 Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 Well she obviously can't be trusted if she is cheating on her boyfriend.. she does not appear to have much respect or loyalty towards him at all. Remember, even if she breaks up with him to be with you she will probably just end up cheating on you as well. Also, personally, I steer clear from dating anyone from work period. It, and all the gossip surrounding it, can end up a mess and really hurt both of you professionally. Unfortunately, I've seen it happen many times...
Stay Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 I respect you for avoiding the first kiss, the other ones for all you know she could've broken up with her bf already. You don't know so you're not at fault entirely but I do highly commend people who have a lot of self control and respect for other relationships to think accordingly. She's on a search for the next person so she can jump right into it, if you want something with her just know you're possibly going to get hurt in the future when she is looking for someone else while with you. I myself cannot date a woman like this as they're unstable and really is just trouble. They don't know what they want and not strong enough to stick by a decision. Personally I'd run away but I already know your feelings will tell you otherwise.
Author ldnstar Posted March 15, 2014 Author Posted March 15, 2014 Stay - I think you are probably right, with everything you've said. I guess i'm just going to have to see what happens, i can see this dragging on for a while tho.
Michael91 Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 It doesn't much matter if she has a bf or not. If she can upgrade, she will as will most women in the initial stages of a bf relationship. Even if you find a girl that doesn't have a boyfriend, if you become her boyfriend, for a while she will be receptive to guys she thinks is an upgrade.
OhThatGirl Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 It doesn't much matter if she has a bf or not. If she can upgrade, she will as will most women in the initial stages of a bf relationship. Even if you find a girl that doesn't have a boyfriend, if you become her boyfriend, for a while she will be receptive to guys she thinks is an upgrade. This isn't the first time/post you've said this about women wanting to "upgrade" when they have a boyfriend and it must be based on some twisted experience you've had because as a woman with female friends I know this to be entirely untrue. It's a sweeping generalization and a really ****ty one at that. OP - forget this girl. She has no respect for her current relationship and very little respect for you as she seems to be dragging you along while cheating on her boyfriend. This isn't the type of person that makes for a healthy relationship. The fact she isn't happy with her boyfriend may be complete BS she tells you or herself to justify her actions but when it comes down to it, she's happy enough to stay with him. This DOESNT mean however that all girls look for an "upgrade" when they have a boyfriend. An upgrade is used for airline seats, not people. This is an incredibly cheap and shortsighted view of women. Don't buy it. Likely she is just looking for validation any way she can get it or she's looking to establish a relationship to jump into because she's generally unhappy with herself as a single person. Again, both being bad prognostic signs of a relationship.
Recommended Posts