Getting with other people DOESN'T make anything better...

[Strength in Healing]

At least, it didn't help me..

 

Had this pretty girl with a nice personality come over, we rented a movie and all. Had a million people (friends) telling me to sleep with her, that that would help me forget my ex.

 

I won't say what we did, all I can say is the next morning all I did was miss my ex more.

 

I don't know if people on this forum recommend getting with others, but let me be the first to say, if you really cared about your ex, stay far away from getting with anyone else. I mean, maybe it would help some people, but it killed me.

 

 

Now I feel worse than ever. My ex was a mean person, and got with someone after 4 years of being together (and being broken up maybe 4 days)... but I guess this shows I'm the better person, because it hurts me.

[hudson701]

I totally and utterly agree. My ex has moved on very quickly and is already having sex with someone else, whereas the thought of dating repulses me. I mean at this point I can't even look girls in the face. My confidence is shot. I'm only a few weeks into NC so I'm sure I'll be a little better in a couple of months time.

 

But yes, I don't understand how people can jump into bed with someone else immediately.

[HeartbrokenNewbie]

I think it depends really... I saw a guy after my LT BU and stopped short of doing it, I just bottled it, it didnt feel right but then when it came to my most recent ex (the two were only 6 weeks apart) it did feel right and I didnt feel at all bad after which I thought I would x I think with the right person it will feel right x

[Conners]

I agree.

 

When it's over you just think about how much better it is with your ex.

[Lifegoezon]

Remember the dumper has usually already emotionally left the dumpee long before the R ends so they are further on in their healing. That's why they can move on to someone new so fast. It's not a few days for them, it's weeks or months.

[Conners]

Remember the dumper has usually already emotionally left the dumpee long before the R ends so they are further on in their healing. That's why they can move on to someone new so fast. It's not a few days for them, it's weeks or months.

 

I was the dumper.. in my case it wasn't any easier.

[4everalones]

I went on several dates a week after the breakup (out of pressure from friends who thought it will help me get over my ex). It was the worst decision ever, it made me miss him more and feel disgusted with myself.

 

You are right. If you're still not over your ex, please don't date or sleep with anyone. It will only reinforce your feelings for your ex and make you feel inferior and weak. Better focus on healing first, and the rest will fall in place.

[Lifegoezon]

I was the dumper.. in my case it wasn't any easier.

 

I don't know your story but I too was the dumper. Because he cheated. Sometimes these labels aren't totally appropriate. Bottom line, if you didn't want the relationship to end, if they checked out while you still loved them, you stand in the dumpee's shoes. And you need their strategies to heal because your ex has already gone. It's the wounded partner who needs to take dating slowly.

[central]

I guess this shows I'm the better person, because it hurts me.

 

If it makes you feel better, sure. I'd say you're not necessarily the better person, just the more attached person who hasn't yet had time to heal. Once you do heal and move on, you'll give your ex no more thought and feel no hurt - will that then make you a worse person?

[Strength in Healing]

If it makes you feel better, sure. I'd say you're not necessarily the better person, just the more attached person who hasn't yet had time to heal. Once you do heal and move on, you'll give your ex no more thought and feel no hurt - will that then make you a worse person?

 

Lol philosophical debates... I'm gonna go ahead and dodge this one, but understand, the context is what made her a bad person... and the lies.

 

I hate this **** though, worst of all is the feeling of wanting her back after this all. And perhaps the most disturbing is the thoughts in the back of my head that I could get her back, if I really even tried. I went NC that night and never broke it once. It's like fighting 10 battles at once, and I'm losing them all now.

Edited March 16, 2014 by Strength in Healing

[BradJacobs]

My Friday and Saturday night would disagree.

 

I loved the girl that I was seeing. If she would contact me asking for another chance I don't know if I would even take the call now.

 

Great sex with a new face got rid of the last bit of irrational hope that I was still holding on to.

[Strength in Healing]

My Friday and Saturday night would disagree.

 

I loved the girl that I was seeing. If she would contact me asking for another chance I don't know if I would even take the call now.

 

Great sex with a new face got rid of the last bit of irrational hope that I was still holding on to.

 

 

Different strokes for different folks. Perhaps I am more romantic.

[somedude81]

How long after the breakup did this occur? If it's too soon, it probably won't help. Though if it's been a few months, then I think it will be just the ticket.