I should have known

[missinghersmile]

First Id like to say thank you this forum has been helping me out alot.

 

My story back in October this girl started to work at my job and I fell in love with her the moment I saw her I've never had this happen before all my other relationships just progressed with time. The next time I saw her we started talking and she was even more amazing to me I also found out she had a bf oh well wasn't meant to be. the next month and a half she would talk to me all the time she saw me and seemed generally happy when she saw me. I didn't think much of it because she was a very talkative person I just thought she treated me like everyone else

at the end of November she asked me to add her on Facebook so I did again didn't think anything of it. Then I messaged her on the 1st of December about something and then she asked for my number do I gave it to her. After that she texted me non stop everyday and night. She was always the first to text me right when she got up it was nice but I knew there was nothing I could do cause of the bf. One day I found out and that he always brings her down and how she would have to pay for everything and bend over backwards for him. He would constantly break up with her and make her apologize and ask for him back.he was emotionally and sometimes a little physically abusive towards her I didn't like hearing any of this but I wasn't trying to get in the middle even though I was in love with her. Something came out how he like me as well what you get to work on her relationship which I said I'm not trying to pull you away from anyone and if you need to work on a relationship that's what she said do we even though I know this was a good relationship for her. Long story short after a big fight they broke up and we started talking more she said she needed time because her heart was broken and she didn't feel like she should rush into anything which I was fine with what we started seeing more and more as each other and by the end of the month the things we're doing see more and more like dates we weren't official but it felt that way to me. I told her that I was worried that I was going to be a rebound and she assured me that I was what she wanted fully and truly.

 

during this time her ex still lived at her father's house which is where she was staying at the time and try desperately to get her back kept yelling at her telling how is her fault but then with apologize and be nice and then would go crazy again until one night he put his hands on her I did not like this but she insisted that that was the thing that made her hate him she finally moved out with a friend and everything with us is going great on January 24th of this year she wanted it to be official should we were in love she would always go on to tell me how madly in love she was with me and how is the love of her life and how she want to marry me know if you want to be my family she didn't feel like the type of person just say the things she wears her heart on her sleeve and if she doesn't feel way she won't force it everything has been going great we had amazing Valentines she said it was the greatest day of her life I was on cloud nine she always tell me how happy she was and that she would hope that I was happy as I was making her and I was then about a week ago I started feeling her growing distant every time I would ask why she would say she's just tired she was a work a holic two days later when she still felt the fence I said I knew was something was wrong and she told me that she still had feelings for her ex and that she had been missing him and he been texting her all the things he should have said when he was with her she told me she didn't respond to any of these text messages but it just putting a lot of feelings and her head she told me she still loves him and her heart was confused I asked if she still love me or she love me any less and she said no I've never felt this way about anyone in all my life but I didn't fight I just told her I love her and I would give her space to figure out what her heart truly wanted because I love her I just want her to be happy even though I know she's not going to be happy with a guy that she told me she was never happy with 90 percent of the time but I let her go.

 

She she told me I fixed her I just don't understand why things went bad its been 3 days of NC and today is the worst day of them all. I don't understand how she could miss this guy who did nothing but cause her pain and I gave her so much happiness I wonder is she with him now is she in his bed she kissing his lips I shouldn't think about any of this but it keeps me up at night I hope that she says take some time and thinking about everything and keeping what she said she felt for me in mind I want you to come back but I also don't want to be a second choice this is the worst few days of my life but I am trying I don't know what else to do I want answers but I don't want to contact her and then have her say something I don't want to hear and feel like crap I miss her so much but I want to know she misses me without me having to ask is there any hope for us or did he just have that much stronger a hold on her any advice or help would be greatly appreciated and if you need more info just ask I'm desperate I'm sad and I feel pathetic help me get through this what should I do.

[preraph]

Unfortunately, this is why it's usually bad to date someone (or even start a new friendship with them if you're attracted) right after a breakup. They have not had time to process it and part of the reason they jump into a relationship is to have someone to lean on and because it keeps them distracted from grieving the last relationship and processing it.

 

You are doing the right thing giving her space. If she takes very long at all, you should begin trying to see other women or at least going out with friends to distract yourself, maintaining infrequent contact with her for status reports. I can tell you from experience that when you have a broken heart and unresolved issues, it's hard to just move past it so quickly.