Gaeta Posted March 17, 2014 Posted March 17, 2014 He had always been a slow replier since from the website. But since sleeping with him i don't know why i want to hang out more, it's been a week since we last saw each other, and i feel like it's me making the effort of texting, ok this weekend he is back where he went to university so i won't see him, but why am i being clingy? Was i wrong for sleeping with him? I think you are jumping the gun a little fast here because of your insecurities. Why in the world would you ignore him or refuse his invitation!! He's a little slower on text but you've got an explanation he's back at University. Sometimes after sex men pull away a little, you've got to let them get back to you on their own. It's a common phenomenon. I think all my boyfriend have done it. Don't be cligny, keep being your bubbly self and give it some time.
Fondue Posted March 17, 2014 Posted March 17, 2014 I find your statement ignorant and offensive. Being 25 and living at home does NOT make you a bum. You obviously have little to know idea about various social issues. I live at home and I am 27. I have travelled the world and been to most continent. I own expensive clothes. I probably dress better than the vast majority of women you date yourself. A bum? For living at home? A lot of people have legitimate reasons for our education being stunted or attained at a later age (education is what you need in order to be independent). PLENTY of intelligent folks live at home now these days because, well, I dunno, THE CURRENT ECONOMY? You need to do quiet well financially to live out of home in most major cities. Most people who go to college do not have high income jobs; only the select few do. The only way a lot of college educated people can really move out is if they; live in a low cost area alone OR if they live in an area that is not strictly low cost and share with a room mate. This guy could be smart and have a lucrative future ahead of him. In fact, I dated a guy who was studying towards being a chartered accountant. At a much later age. Have to agree wholeheartedly here. Living with your parents at 25 isn't a bad thing. I moved out at 25.5. Why did I live with my parents so long? I saved up money to BUY a home and live SOLO comfortably. I'll be 27 in a month and a half and most people my age are struggling with loans/rent/etc., while I am just paying a monthly mortgage and living easy. Staying inside a few more years after graduation allowed me to save up a nice chunk of change that paved the way for me in the future. Anyway, back to the original topic: I don't think you necessarily got played yet. I think you should wait patiently a little while longer before sinking into some sort of depression and announcing to the world you got used. He DID introduce you to his friends/family. I am sure if he did this to all the girls he meets, his family might have simply scoffed you off as nothing, but if they treated you well... Maybe you're one the first he brought back in a while! Anyway, was the sex good? If it was, you got something out of it, too. Not all bad!
Author Ponderinglove Posted March 17, 2014 Author Posted March 17, 2014 Is he keeping in touch OP? He text today and said hope you are alright, my reply was i am good thank you hope you are too, i didn't want to say much cause on thursday i told him that am only at work on monday and off the rest of the week, which he replied saying, lucky you, am gonna be thinking about you when i have to wake up early. So i was hoping he would ask me to go out again, well since he went to uni for the weekend maybe he forgot that i am off who knows. I am one of those people who really hate saying things twice, i know it's a bad trait cause even at work when i ask someone to do something and the don't do it, i just do it myself. Even asking people for things, so like right now am finding it hard to ask for the third time if he is free to meet up. I don't know what it is, it's not a pride thing. I feel at times like people should know whats expected of them instead of waiting to be told, taught or prompted to do it, ' i would make a rubbish teacher' lol just a random thought just then. If his personality is like mine, then i guess we are doomed. He asked me out on all three dates, we arranged second date at the end of first and third date at end of second. He loves to cook, so he said we could go out to mine and i will cook, and i thought that would be lovely, plus it saves money. I did not go to his with intention of sleeping with him as that is not the girl i am, the sex was great, but for some reason two days later when i was going to sleep i felt disgusted with myself to the extent that i went and took a shower #overreactingmaybe. But that's not how i was brought up, so after that i needed someone to talk to, ofcourse i couldn't tell my friend cause i am way too embarrassed, so i thought to share my feelings on here cause at least i knew strangers would be honest with me no matter how hard the truth hurts at least i got it out. I like him a lot, no it's not about looks. He makes me laugh, i spit on him talking and was comfortable to say did i just spit on you and we made a joke of it and laughed it off, it wasn't awkward at all, he does accounting i just finished my accounting degree and looking to do my professional exams. He laughed at the fact that since i was little i always knew i wanted to be a financial manager, his mum admired it. When i got to his, his sister confirmed his love for cooking. I like him, maybe i like him too much that now am confusing myself and desperately want it to work. I however don't want this to push him away. I am aware sex complicates things and that i should have waited. Now question is, where do i go from here? I have never been the type that falls easy, what is happening?
GoreSP Posted March 17, 2014 Posted March 17, 2014 Too much too soon. If you want more from a guy don't give up the goods so soon. 3 dates is waaaaaaaaaay too early regardless of what he says or what you overheard. I disagree. A guy who wants to use a woman for sex will do so no matter how long it takes to get laid. If it takes too long he will just stop chasing and find someone who is a little more 'easy' to convince.
Gaeta Posted March 17, 2014 Posted March 17, 2014 I am one of those people who really hate saying things twice... He asked me out on all three dates, we arranged second date at the end of first and third date at end of second. A. Do you want to continue living by that silly motto or you want a chance at this guy? B. Ask him out, he came forward 3 times, it's your turn. Even guys need to feel pursued at some point.
Poppygoodwill Posted March 17, 2014 Posted March 17, 2014 I would say if his communication has significantly dropped, suddenly, then there's a problem. But if he's out of town and busy doing other things, then you have to wait until he's back to judge his intentions. You say you have trouble asking for things, but of course men feel insecure too and we have to help them along by also letting them konw we are interested in seeing them. I'm not sure the efforts you've made, but why not a clear invitation for a specific day adn time? If he says no, or pushes it to one side, and doens't offer an alternative time, then you'll know for sure that he's fading out. Even if he is, it's not necessarily about you. He probably does it to everyone. Small comfort perhaps, but something none the less.
Author Ponderinglove Posted March 17, 2014 Author Posted March 17, 2014 A. Do you want to continue living by that silly motto or you want a chance at this guy? B. Ask him out, he came forward 3 times, it's your turn. Even guys need to feel pursued at some point. Thanks for your response. No it's not a 'silly motto' as you put it, that's why i even gave an example of how i struggle with it at work as well. It's something i want to change about my personality and have been trying a long time. I was brought up being taught you don't ask, you wait till you are given, you are independent you do things yourself, rely on your siblings and parents, so there is another reason. Am trying to change and accept that it's why to ask, it was one of the problems i had with my ex cause i would just fins it hard to let him do things for me and to tell him if i was expecting him to do something cause like i said to me people should know what's expected of them, i. E when i was little i would know to get home, polish my shoes, eat, wash up,homework, bed time at 8. So yeh that's who i am, easy for you to call it silly, but i get why you would see it that way. Of course i like him and would want it to work. That's why i am here. Perhaps at times having too many opinions and advice ia not a goos thing?
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