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When should I suggest we meet in person?


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Posted

Hey guys. I was just wondering something about online dating. I'm 21 and just tried an online dating site for the first time. I decided to create an OkCupid account and I've been talking to this girl for 2 days now and we hit it off pretty well and she seems pretty interested in my opinion.

 

My question is, how long after you start talking to someone online should you suggest to meet in person? In my opinion it would be around a week of talking frequently? Your thoughts?

Posted

Try to meet in person as soon as possible, so you you can feel that person out, and it becomes real.

Chatting with someone doesnt have more substance, and the longer you go, the more the other person just views you as an online buddy.

So, Meet as soon as possible

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Posted
Try to meet in person as soon as possible, so you you can feel that person out, and it becomes real.

Chatting with someone doesnt have more substance, and the longer you go, the more the other person just views you as an online buddy.

So, Meet as soon as possible

 

As soon as possible? Really? I would think that suggesting we meet that fast would maybe make me look desperate or is that just me?

Posted

Split the difference - make it four days then ask to meet, maybe the upcoming weekend during the day. You have to see how comfortable the two of you are talking and if there are any deal breakers before then. Have a few questions as to those deal breakers and try to work them into the conversation.

Posted
As soon as possible? Really? I would think that suggesting we meet that fast would maybe make me look desperate or is that just me?

That is just you. The rule is to strike while the iron is hot. If you wait, it gives the girl time to start wondering what did I ever see in him? That doesn't mean you should attempt to dominate her time or that you shouldn't give her some space, especially at first.

 

I suggest meeting at a public place and, if it goes well and they look like their photo, etc., go somewhere and/or make it a more lengthy date, then make (or call the following day to make) a date for the weekend or several days later. On the initial meeting and the following date, be a perfect gentleman. Holding hands is okay and maybe a quick goodnight kiss. Then, the following week and date, it is okay to go for more but do it nicely without being aggressive. Don't be a gentleman (that is, no touching, or hinting for more) for more than 3 dates or they will cull your a$$ out.

Posted
Hey guys. I was just wondering something about online dating. I'm 21 and just tried an online dating site for the first time. I decided to create an OkCupid account and I've been talking to this girl for 2 days now and we hit it off pretty well and she seems pretty interested in my opinion.

 

My question is, how long after you start talking to someone online should you suggest to meet in person? In my opinion it would be around a week of talking frequently? Your thoughts?

 

 

The following weekend after you start talking. So for example if yall started talking this past wednesday you would ask her out for next weekend instead of this weekend.

 

Maybe tue of next week suggest a date idea for fri, sat, or sun

Posted
Split the difference - make it four days then ask to meet, maybe the upcoming weekend during the day. You have to see how comfortable the two of you are talking and if there are any deal breakers before then. Have a few questions as to those deal breakers and try to work them into the conversation.

 

 

You have to assume someone has plans the first approaching weekend while getting to know each other. If I started talking to someone wed of this week I won't ask them out this weekend

Posted

I think ASAP may sound a bit hasty, hahaha dont go out of your way I mean.

 

But dont go on messaging someone you want to meet for a month.

Yes, strike while the iron is hot is right

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Posted

Thanks for the advice guys really appreciate it.

 

Here's another question. When should I ask for her number? We have been talking for two days on OkCupid messages but it sucks. That messaging system seems to be bugged or something. Like sometimes I check to see if I received a message and there is none but later on I check again and there was a message after all a few hours old. Should I ask for it now?

Posted
Thanks for the advice guys really appreciate it.

 

Here's another question. When should I ask for her number? We have been talking for two days on OkCupid messages but it sucks. That messaging system seems to be bugged or something. Like sometimes I check to see if I received a message and there is none but later on I check again and there was a message after all a few hours old. Should I ask for it now?

 

 

That's way too long to be chatting online. You ask for the number after about 7 or 8 messages

Posted

As soon as possible. You've been chatting for 2 days now. Give her your cell number to text you. Then ask her for coffee or drinks.

Posted
As soon as possible. You've been chatting for 2 days now. Give her your cell number to text you. Then ask her for coffee or drinks.

 

U mean ask for the cell number so he can call and ask her out for drinks

Posted
U mean ask for the cell number so he can call and ask her out for drinks

 

Either one. But if he's still talking to her online, he's wasting time.

Posted

Text for a few days. And it feels good ask her out.

Posted
LMFAO! 2 days? Congrats. A round of applause for you. You're on your way to being her texting buddy. In typical clueless guy fashion, you will get her number and have lovely little text convos that stretch on for days.

 

There is no specified amount of messages to send before asking for her number. You ask for it at the height of the conversation. This is called a number close. You number close when the conversation is going really well. It leaves the woman wanting more.

 

Stop chatting women for days. Any woman that wants to chat for days, you should immediately NEXT her.

 

Oh good lord. :(

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Posted

I asked for her number but she told me that for now, she would prefer if we kept using OkCupid to message each other so I guess she's more shy than I thought. Definitely not asking her to meet up any time soon either. Looks like she would rather talk more and know each other a little better before doing anything which I'm fine with. Thanks for the help guys.

Posted
I asked for her number but she told me that for now, she would prefer if we kept using OkCupid to message each other so I guess she's more shy than I thought. Definitely not asking her to meet up any time soon either. Looks like she would rather talk more and know each other a little better before doing anything which I'm fine with. Thanks for the help guys.

 

 

She is either a man or a 12 year old girl and you need to drop her and talk to someone else

Posted
Hey guys. I was just wondering something about online dating. I'm 21 and just tried an online dating site for the first time. I decided to create an OkCupid account and I've been talking to this girl for 2 days now and we hit it off pretty well and she seems pretty interested in my opinion.

 

My question is, how long after you start talking to someone online should you suggest to meet in person? In my opinion it would be around a week of talking frequently? Your thoughts?

 

 

OP....The sooner the better. You do not want to create a scenario where you are sending endless texts / emails up and down for ages, only to meet at some point and realize there is nothing there...this happens a lot.

 

I usually let it be known that I want to meet ASAP to get that feel....benefits both parties as you can then move on if it's not there

Posted
OP....The sooner the better. You do not want to create a scenario where you are sending endless texts / emails up and down for ages, only to meet at some point and realize there is nothing there...this happens a lot.

 

I usually let it be known that I want to meet ASAP to get that feel....benefits both parties as you can then move on if it's not there

 

 

I mean if he was atleast talking on the phone I would say it's not too bad but he doesn't even know if he is talking to a woman

Posted

I'm a female and I dabbled in online dating. I personally don't meet up with someone after 2 or 3 days of speaking. Also, they don't get my phone number after 7 or 8 messages. What do I know about a person who sends me 7 messages? Nothing.

 

I would spend about a week max talking via the online site, and then would transition it to the phone.

 

I would ask her out for next weekend. I don't like rushing out of the gate with people, I prefer for it to evolve naturally and not feeling pushed or rushed by some random online person.

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Posted
I'm a female and I dabbled in online dating. I personally don't meet up with someone after 2 or 3 days of speaking. Also, they don't get my phone number after 7 or 8 messages. What do I know about a person who sends me 7 messages? Nothing.

 

I would spend about a week max talking via the online site, and then would transition it to the phone.

 

I would ask her out for next weekend. I don't like rushing out of the gate with people, I prefer for it to evolve naturally and not feeling pushed or rushed by some random online person.

 

Yeah thanks for the reply. I agree. I will give her the benefit of the doubt and time. Why not? If the conversation keeps going well I might ask her if she wants to meet later on.

Posted
I'm a female and I dabbled in online dating. I personally don't meet up with someone after 2 or 3 days of speaking. Also, they don't get my phone number after 7 or 8 messages. What do I know about a person who sends me 7 messages? Nothing.

 

I would spend about a week max talking via the online site, and then would transition it to the phone.

 

I would ask her out for next weekend. I don't like rushing out of the gate with people, I prefer for it to evolve naturally and not feeling pushed or rushed by some random online person.

 

You do know you are not the only female online right? So why you have this long drawn out process another female may not have a problem giving her number to a guy after 2 days and then you will be left out because he would have connected with someone else

Posted
Yeah thanks for the reply. I agree. I will give her the benefit of the doubt and time. Why not? If the conversation keeps going well I might ask her if she wants to meet later on.

 

you have not confirmed if it's a woman you are chatting with since it's only been electronic communication

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