Can Boys n Girls just Friends? Discuss

[ltjg45]

Yeah. I have more female friends than I do male friends.

 

Of course, I don't have many friends at all. I can count all of them on my 2 hands, maybe even 1.

 

With them, I rather masturbate than asking them out and I am sure they feel the same.

[pickflicker]

That is just your take on it......what goes through his head away from work is another thing. Stuff which he will obviously not discuss with you

 

No one is saying you are "ugly"....but then again, your description is another thread is all we have

 

OP....The answer is H3ll NAH.

 

You have no idea what you're talking about. You do that a lot - display a dizzying level of ignorance, that is.

 

The "ugly" is in response to FrostBlaze's point number 4. Which you'd understand, if you'd read the thread.

 

It's ok. You're not the first to become enamored enough with my posting that you feel the need to follow me around here. You won't be the last.

Edited March 15, 2014 by pickflicker

[Tayken]

You have no idea what you're talking about. You do that a lot - display a dizzying level of ignorance, that is.

 

The "ugly" is in response to FrostBlaze's point number 4. Which you'd understand, if you'd read the thread.

 

It's ok. You're not the first to become enamored enough with my posting that you feel the need to follow me around here. You won't be the last.

 

OMG...Someone is full of themself. I was actually paying you a compliment / agreeing with you, but somehow you thought I was taking a poke at you PF.....couldn't be more far from the truth.

 

I am not your enemy, shame you decided to unleash this side of you

[pickflicker]

OMG...Someone is full of themself. I was actually paying you a compliment / agreeing with you, but somehow you thought I was taking a poke at you PF.....couldn't be more far from the truth.

 

I am not your enemy, shame you decided to unleash this side of you

 

Just speaking the truth. If you weren't taking a poke, fine, I accept your apology. But you ought to work on your delivery, because if you're not intending to sound sarcastic, that's what it's coming off as.

 

I think I know my work friend better than you do. Making assumptions based on his gender isn't fair. Just because you don't see women as platonic friends doesn't mean that other men are not capable (looking over the thread, I see that Haydn & Shepp appear to have platonic friendships with women as well). So it's entirely possible.

[hotpotato]

Just speaking the truth. If you weren't taking a poke, fine, I accept your apology. But you ought to work on your delivery, because if you're not intending to sound sarcastic, that's what it's coming off as.

 

I think I know my work friend better than you do. Making assumptions based on his gender isn't fair. Just because you don't see women as platonic friends doesn't mean that other men are not capable (looking over the thread, I see that Haydn & Shepp appear to have platonic friendships with women as well). So it's entirely possible.

 

Maybe so. There is also the theme of "We are platonic but I masturbate thinking of them."

 

U hhh no thanks.

 

I think most of us on some level know it's very difficult for men and women to be friends. If it were so easy, barriers like marriage and kids wouldn't be necessary.

 

I think women in general should be careful about male friends aka suitors. She may be platonic, but the one on one time, acting buddy buddy, and sharing oneself will give many men the wrong impression. Heck, there are threads on LS in which a guy swore the girl was into him because she engaged in the aforementioned activities with him.

[topaMAXX]

I had the opposite problem as a male. Women couldn't be friends with me without emotional entanglement or wanting a physical relationship. I had no issue in being friends with women without wanting to bang them. I seem to not be attracted to every pretty woman who crosses my path, even when I was single and looking for sex. I still have some female friends who are friends with both my wife and I, and she has a few male friends from her college days of which only her best friend is gay. With the right people, it can be done.

Grumps

 

This has been my experience as well. Most of my female friends develop some kind of attraction towards me. In the past, we would end up sleeping together and that would cause complications.

 

The few female friends that didn't tend to just drop out of my life. Meanwhile, I've had many of my male friends for years.

 

So, no, I don't believe that men and women can just be friends.

[pickflicker]

This has been my experience as well. Most of my female friends develop some kind of attraction towards me. In the past, we would end up sleeping together and that would cause complications.

 

The few female friends that didn't tend to just drop out of my life. Meanwhile, I've had many of my male friends for years.

 

So, no, I don't believe that men and women can just be friends.

 

They can't be friends with you. That doesn't make it an all-encompassing rule.

[Shepp]

Maybe so. There is also the theme of "We are platonic but I masturbate thinking of them."

 

U hhh no thanks.

 

I think most of us on some level know it's very difficult for men and women to be friends. If it were so easy, barriers like marriage and kids wouldn't be necessary.

 

I think women in general should be careful about male friends aka suitors. She may be platonic, but the one on one time, acting buddy buddy, and sharing oneself will give many men the wrong impression. Heck, there are threads on LS in which a guy swore the girl was into him because she engaged in the aforementioned activities with him.

 

I don't usually weigh in very heavily on these debates because there's no winning them, its pointless - but I think there's something wrong with guys who cant hold a single platonic female friend. Dogs hump everything with a pulse. Humans makes don't.

Obviously I have weigh more guy friends but of course I would, I work with guys, play sports with guys, and in the majority of cases have more in common with guys but there's girls I would class as friends (probably talking 85:15) but looking at my real core group of friends the odds even out more, probably in the 65:35 - because these are the people I've grown up with that lived, and still live, down the road all my life, I like them as people, I like them as friends, but to even think about them in that way is to think about your sister in that way - weird!

 

I like to think I can get on with almost anyone - if you cant be just friends with half the population, you've got some issues. I cant think of anyone I know of the top of my head that has no platonic friends of the opposite sex whatsoever.

 

I was friends first with my girlfriend, not that we were ever what I d describe as totally platonic, but even if you take that out of the equation and say that we were and we grew into something more (like happens with lots of people) - that wouldn't disqualify all my other platonic female friends, it wouldn't mean that I'd equally want the same to happen in my relationship with all of them. I think y ou have to look at relationships with anyone on a one by one bases - not with big generalisations, you could say can anyone be just friends with there boss? or will it always be weird because of work and will you always be on edge?

 

 

Of course you cant be juist friend with all girls - I've had girls tell me they felt a way about me that I didn't feel and whatever friendship there was suffered, but that doesn't mean you cant have a friendship with any girl.

Edited March 16, 2014 by Shepp

[hotpotato]

I don't usually weigh in very heavily on these debates because there's no winning them, its pointless - but I think there's something wrong with guys who cant hold a single platonic female friend. Dogs hump everything with a pulse. Humans makes don't.

 

It's really just biology.

 

Obviously I have weigh more guy friends but of course I would, I work with guys, play sports with guys, and in the majority of cases have more in common with guys but there's girls I would class as friends (probably talking 85:15) but looking at my real core group of friends the odds even out more, probably in the 65:35 - because these are the people I've grown up with that lived, and still live, down the road all my life, I like them as people, I like them as friends, but to even think about them in that way is to think about your sister in that way - weird!

 

I like to think I can get on with almost anyone - if you cant be just friends with half the population, you've got some issues. I cant think of anyone I know of the top of my head that has no platonic friends of the opposite sex whatsoever.

 

I think that's a little unfair, especially because of biology. If you are a remotely cute female it's naturally going to be difficult to be just friends with straight males. I've tried to be friends with males, but usually it ends in sexually harassment and me about to take them to court. I don't think they mean harm, they just get horny. I have two male acquaintances but they live out of state. It's really a balancing act trying not to give them the wrong impression. Even then they allude to sex or dating.

 

I'm currently trying to be friends with a guy I tried to date in the past. I'm fine being just friends, but he can't. If I went over to his place right now, he'd try to rip my clothes off.

 

I was friends first with my girlfriend, not that we were ever what I d describe as totally platonic, but even if you take that out of the equation and say that we were and we grew into something more (like happens with lots of people) - that wouldn't disqualify all my other platonic female friends, it wouldn't mean that I'd equally want the same to happen in my relationship with all of them. I think y ou have to look at relationships with anyone on a one by one bases - not with big generalisations, you could say can anyone be just friends with there boss? or will it always be weird because of work and will you always be on edge?

 

 

Of course you cant be juist friend with all girls - I've had girls tell me they felt a way about me that I didn't feel and whatever friendship there was suffered, but that doesn't mean you cant have a friendship with any girl.

 

Friends with the boss. Nope! I've seen too many middle managers or other managers try to get friendly with female staff. Despite the employer telling everyone such romances are unethical, it still happens a lot. I've been in the room and seen managers openly hit on female waitstaff.

[TheGuard13]

Threads like this...

 

 

Of course boys and girls can be friends.

 

Many simply choose not to.

 

But just because you want to sleep with someone doesn't mean you can't choose to just be friends, depending on the circumstances.

[hotpotato]

Threads like this...

 

 

Of course boys and girls can be friends.

 

Many simply choose not to.

 

But just because you want to sleep with someone doesn't mean you can't choose to just be friends, depending on the circumstances.

 

The only way men and women at large can be "just friends" is if you add sex to be just friends. That's not being just friends.

Personally, I wouldn't want a male friend lusting after me. I'd just get an f buddy.

That's not a friendship. That's a one sided relationship.

 

 

All these threads really are the same.

 

I think next time the OP should just do a search.

[Shepp]

It's really just biology.

But people use that for Everything (they say it about cheating which is a load of BS)

 

 

 

I think that's a little unfair, especially because of biology. If you are a remotely cute female it's naturally going to be difficult to be just friends with straight males. I've tried to be friends with males, but usually it ends in sexually harassment and me about to take them to court. I don't think they mean harm, they just get horny. I have two male acquaintances but they live out of state. It's really a balancing act trying not to give them the wrong impression. Even then they allude to sex or dating.

I don find it difficult, yes like I said there's a few girls who got carried away and it didn't wok with, but the norm is its not hard. There pretty girls, there's just nothing.....sexual between us! Doesn't mean there unattractive or at I'm not straight - just that we're platonic.

 

I'm currently trying to be friends with a guy I tried to date in the past. I'm fine being just friends, but he can't. If I went over to his place right now, he'd try to rip my clothes off.

But this isn't platonic. This is a guy you were into, a guy who was into you (and apparently still is), a fella you've had sex with. Not a platonic friendship.

 

You have to seperate the guys who play at being your friend to with the intention of progressing things to the guys who are just your friend, no drama.

[regine_phalange]

Yes, you can be just friends. But there is usually a "romantic" element/vibe of protection/affection in such friendships. The male friends I've had never treated me like one of the boys, but they never treated me as a girlfriend either. I used to be friends with a gay man who was quite masculine, and there was the same vibe though. So maybe this vibe is not related to sexual attraction, but to the combination of opposites (masculine and feminine in this case).

[hotpotato]

But people use that for Everything (they say it about cheating which is a load of BS)

 

 

It's true. I know a lot of men who are unfaithful. Mostly they want a different female body to have sex with. It's the same biology as many other male species.

 

I don find it difficult, yes like I said there's a few girls who got carried away and it didn't wok with, but the norm is its not hard. There pretty girls, there's just nothing.....sexual between us! Doesn't mean there unattractive or at I'm not straight - just that we're platonic.

 

Actually, how you feel is NOT the norm. Science will back that. In so called friendships, at least one party will have sexual or romantic feelings. Usually this is the man. It's very easy for a man to at least be sexually attracted to a woman.

 

But this isn't platonic. This is a guy you were into, a guy who was into you (and apparently still is), a fella you've had sex with. Not a platonic friendship.

 

You're right, it's not platonic because of his sex drive. I could go over there and hang out and not want sex. I can't say the same for him.

 

You have to seperate the guys who play at being your friend to with the intention of progressing things to the guys who are just your friend, no drama.

 

You're right.

 

I can do that be totally ignoring men unless they are verified gay.

 

It's easier just not to have male friends unless I want to have sex with them or date them.

[Shepp]

It's true. I know a lot of men who are unfaithful. Mostly they want a different female body to have sex with. It's the same biology as many other male species.

I think bology represents the opposite.

Look at beavers. Beavers stay - they don't chop and change and flip and flop, they say, they are either wired or programmed, I don't know which "to stay" or to be monogamous because its the only way they can survive - if they were constantly chasing after new mates they would never be able to build a good dam and raise young beavers and the species would die out.

In species where both parents raise the young monogamity is survival. Humans don't need to be monogamous anymore - we don't have to have kids and we can raise them by ourselves, so people are free to make the choice not to settle down.

But that's where monogamity originates from - biology!

 

Actually, how you feel is NOT the norm. Science will back that. In so called friendships, at least one party will have sexual or romantic feelings. Usually this is the man. It's very easy for a man to at least be sexually attracted to a woman.

I dunno what the stats say, maybe they don't back me, but I can only base whats "normal" by the world I live in, where i'm from, the friends I keep - it's normal to me I guess.

 

I can do that be totally ignoring men unless they are verified gay.

Not true

[hotpotato]

I think bology represents the opposite.

Look at beavers. Beavers stay - they don't chop and change and flip and flop, they say, they are either wired or programmed, I don't know which "to stay" or to be monogamous because its the only way they can survive - if they were constantly chasing after new mates they would never be able to build a good dam and raise young beavers and the species would die out.

In species where both parents raise the young monogamity is survival. Humans don't need to be monogamous anymore - we don't have to have kids and we can raise them by ourselves, so people are free to make the choice not to settle down.

But that's where monogamity originates from - biology!

 

Bonobos are a lot closer to humans, and they are definitely not monogamous.

Most males are not monogamous. Lions, cheetahs, most birds, rhinos etc are not the least monogamous.

 

It's normal for the males to go around looking for mates because childrearing falls on the female. People to get around this by having social customs like marriage.

 

Humans are meant to be together during the limerance period which lasts about three years, just enough for any offspring to reach a little bit of independence. At best, people are sometimes able to be serial monogamists.

 

 

I dunno what the stats say, maybe they don't back me, but I can only base whats "normal" by the world I live in, where i'm from, the friends I keep - it's normal to me I guess.

What may be normal to you is not necessarily normal for men in general.

 

 

Not true

Yes, that's pretty much the only way. Or I could choose male friends I want to have sex with/or date. Otherwise it's a no go. I can't even be friends with guys who are 50,60, or even 70 without be propositioned.

[FrostBlaze]

Just asked for opinion and to state why you think like that, don't argue/debate much on it, no use, everyone keeps their point of view.

 

As for me, i mostly agree with Hot Potato, but i still think it is doable without being friends with a gay man xD.

I have girl friends i just chat with for wich i feel nothing. Then there are the ones i spend to much time with, to wich at some level i get attached to.

Out of those, are the more flirty kind that are kinda asking for it and i have thought of it...

 

And the one's i just consider really close and am protective off.( like a "sister" as people say, except the incest part)

Toward these few ladies, out of respect and my morals i steer clear of any sexual activities, i don't wanna give the wrong ideea and ruin the benefits of my friendship with them. I can get other stuff out of these ladies and not just sex.

But i would be lying if i would say that it had not crossed my mind "to F them" at some point.

But once you get used to them so much, you kinda lose that desire toward some of them.

Still, a missplaced hug at the wrong time, can change the whole buddy buddy to wanting more.

 

I would develop more on this subject, but i reckon noone will read, so i leave it at this.

Ty for all your reply's.

Edited March 16, 2014 by FrostBlaze

[Shepp]

Bonobos are a lot closer to humans, and they are definitely not monogamous.

Most males are not monogamous. Lions, cheetahs, most birds, rhinos etc are not the least monogamous.

 

It's normal for the males to go around looking for mates because childrearing falls on the female. People to get around this by having social customs like marriage.

 

Humans are meant to be together during the limerance period which lasts about three years, just enough for any offspring to reach a little bit of independence. At best, people are sometimes able to be serial monogamists.

I'm not going to get into this becuase I've done it so many times on here before, i dont agree but the unchanging fact remains - I'm no cheetah, literally! I dont even want to be a serial monogamist - if im luky enough for it to be in my hands then i just want one girl, for my life.

And if other people want to cheat then go knock themselves out but there'll lose my respect, not that it matters to people who don't even touch my life, but the fact remains I haven't heard an excuse yet that I don't think is ridiculously pathetic!

 

Yes, that's pretty much the only way. Or I could choose male friends I want to have sex with/or date. Otherwise it's a no go. I can't even be friends with guys who are 50,60, or even 70 without be propositioned.

For you

[hotpotato]

Just asked for opinion and to state why you think like that, don't argue/debate much on it, no use, everyone keeps their point of view.

 

 

Biology and evolution

[hotpotato]

I'm not going to get into this becuase I've done it so many times on here before, i dont agree but the unchanging fact remains - I'm no cheetah, literally! I dont even want to be a serial monogamist - if im luky enough for it to be in my hands then i just want one girl, for my life.

And if other people want to cheat then go knock themselves out but there'll lose my respect, not that it matters to people who don't even touch my life, but the fact remains I haven't heard an excuse yet that I don't think is ridiculously pathetic!

 

Well, cheetah mating and people mating is basically the same, we just veil it with love, marriage, and baby carriage. Male (insert species) are attracted to pretty much any female of childbearing age. This is what makes it difficult for people to be just friends.

 

If any woman here thinks that any male species is monogamous, go to sites that are all male...It's really eye opening! Most men will not even claim that they are monogamous. Men spend a lot of time talking about breasts, legs, butts, etc.it's difficult for men to turn this off just because he's a 'friend.'

 

I've had men be honest to me, and point out which women they wanted to f...It was almost every woman...IMO a lot who believe the guy friend is just a friend do not understand how attractive even the average woman is. If a man is hanging around a woman, he probably wants to f her. This is called "familiarity." Cheetah males do it, and human males do it.

 

For you

 

For most remotely attractive women of childbearing age.

[Shepp]

Well, cheetah mating and people mating is basically the same, we just veil it with love, marriage, and baby carriage. Male (insert species) are attracted to pretty much any female of childbearing age. This is what makes it difficult for people to be just friends.

You realise I AM a man right! I'm pretty sure I know who I'm attracted too or not...and its certainly not every women of childbearing age!

Okay I know, I'm a little more picky that a lot of my friends but still saying every women with a pulse between 20 - 35 is just crazy! There either incredibly desperate men, or they grew up in a strange kind of home!

 

If any woman here thinks that any male species is monogamous, go to sites that are all male...It's really eye opening! Most men will not even claim that they are monogamous.

If your getting your information about society's men as a whole off the internet...then don't be surprised when its misrepresentative of reality.

I take what I know about men from real life people, myself and the real life people who surround me.

 

Men spend a lot of time talking about breasts, legs, butts, etc.it's difficult for men to turn this off just because he's a 'friend.'

Do you think guys think like that about their sister? No!

Same thing.

 

If a man is hanging around a woman, he probably wants to f her. This is called "familiarity." Cheetah males do it, and human males do it.

Of course a lot of guys do that. Become friends with a women with the intention of it leading to more...but that's not what this thread is about - this is about a friendship where both parties have gone into it with a platonic base.

I'm NOT saying this is the case with the guy who comes up to you and starts being your best mate at work.

 

My best mates little sister who I first met when I was 4 and she was 2 and I lived next door too all my life - neither of use went into that with anything but platonic feelings, we were kids. I don't want to date her, I feel brotherly towards her, not romantic - that doesn't mean that I care about her as a friend, that I don't get on with her as a person, or that she's not one of the best on hand babysitters we have!

 

Same deal with another of my closest girl mates, moved down my road when we were both 8 - again, we went into that completely innocently.

 

One of my good mates girlfriends, I didn't start hanging around with her because I was into her nor her me, I hung around with her because my mate brought her to stuff, a good few years on I'd class her as a friend, nothing more, not ever - even if you take away the fact that she's his girl and I'd never go there, she's just not my type, but that doesn't mean she don't make me laugh or that she's not a nice person. She's great lass.

 

 

If your telling me something can't be done when I'm clearly doing it, then I just don't understand your point..

 

For most remotely attractive women of childbearing age.

It's a if "some men are doctors", and "some doctors are tall", does it follow that "some men are tall"? thing

 

Your saying "some men are hot for every woman they meet" and "some men have girl mates" and jumping to "all men cant be just platonic with their girl mates"

[hotpotato]

You realise I AM a man right! I'm pretty sure I know who I'm attracted too or not...and its certainly not every women of childbearing age!

Okay I know, I'm a little more picky that a lot of my friends but still saying every women with a pulse between 20 - 35 is just crazy! There either incredibly desperate men, or they grew up in a strange kind of home!

 

You are a man, but in your own statement you say you might be a little different from other men...

 

If I'm not right, where did the saying "p**** has not face" come from?

 

 

If your getting your information about society's men as a whole off the internet...then don't be surprised when its misrepresentative of reality.

I take what I know about men from real life people, myself and the real life people who surround me.

 

I read books about men plus I've been dating them for years. Men and women are just...different...

 

i think women should see it. I'm sure many would be shocked at how they talk and what they think about women. How man talk to other man is very different from how they talk to women.

 

Do you think guys think like that about their sister? No!

Same thing.

 

Hopefully not, that would be incest.

Of course a lot of guys do that. Become friends with a women with the intention of it leading to more...but that's not what this thread is about - this is about a friendship where both parties have gone into it with a platonic base.

And that's what I'm talking about,too. Even using that criteria, many friedships are not really friendships because off the bat men choose female friends they are sexually attracted to.

 

As far as the other situation, you can even see on ls how that plays out. Man and woman are platonic. Woman spends lots of time with man. She hugs him, texts him regularly. He believes the relationship is now romantic/sexual. But he's wrong! He misread her cues. Now he has created a very awkward situation.

 

 

I'm NOT saying this is the case with the guy who comes up to you and starts being your best mate at work.

best mate=best friend?

My best mates little sister who I first met when I was 4 and she was 2 and I lived next door too all my life - neither of use went into that with anything but platonic feelings, we were kids. I don't want to date her, I feel brotherly towards her, not romantic - that doesn't mean that I care about her as a friend, that I don't get on with her as a person, or that she's not one of the best on hand babysitters we have!

 

Same deal with another of my closest girl mates, moved down my road when we were both 8 - again, we went into that completely innocently.

 

One of my good mates girlfriends, I didn't start hanging around with her because I was into her nor her me, I hung around with her because my mate brought her to stuff, a good few years on I'd class her as a friend, nothing more, not ever - even if you take away the fact that she's his girl and I'd never go there, she's just not my type, but that doesn't mean she don't make me laugh or that she's not a nice person. She's great lass.

 

 

If your telling me something can't be done when I'm clearly doing it, then I just don't understand your point..

 

You've already admitted you are not like other men...

 

It's a if "some men are doctors", and "some doctors are tall", does it follow that "some men are tall"? thing

 

Your saying "some men are hot for every woman they meet" and "some men have girl mates" and jumping to "all men cant be just platonic with their girl mates"

I didn't even say all, i say "most."

I can play the exception game to. I knew a man and woman who were just friends, but she was older, around menopause age, and he was younger.

 

That doesn't mean it's so easy most of the time.

 

A friedship between straight men and women, that is platonic, has to have a lot of ifs, ands, and buts. it's very tricky. You have to walk a tight rope. There is a lot of projection, denial, and there have to be a lot of barriers for it to work.

 

It comes down to biology. There is no biological reason a man and a woman will just be friends. A lot of people especially men have a hard time overcoming biology.

[Shepp]

You are a man, but in your own statement you say you might be a little different from other men...

Well only slightly more picky in my friends, I don't mean incredibly so or anything.

 

If I'm not right, where did the saying "p**** has not face" come from?

I dunno where did it come from? I've never heard that before in my life!

 

 

I read books about men plus I've been dating them for years. Men and women are just...different...

 

i think women should see it. I'm sure many would be shocked at how they talk and what they think about women. How man talk to other man is very different from how they talk to women.

Not at all am I saying we're not different, I know we're different, nor am I saying that lads don't have banter when there together sure do.......I'm saying there's no link between those two things and not being able to have female friends.

 

Again I'm not saying all men can be friends with all women, not at all, but despite differences sometimes they can be.

And my sister point wasn't about incest, I meant, yeah guys can be crude but you don't talk about your sister like that right - absolutely not! And believe me when I say I know a lot of guys and they don't talk that way about certain girls be they family, friends, whatever (bare in mind anonymous internet men are different to real men)

 

 

And that's what I'm talking about,too. Even using that criteria, many friedships are not really friendships because off the bat men choose female friends they are sexually attracted to.

Then straight away that's ruled out of the completely platonic category. If you becoming friends with her because your attracted to her that's not a platonic friendship.

 

 

As far as the other situation, you can even see on ls how that plays out. Man and woman are platonic. Woman spends lots of time with man. She hugs him, texts him regularly. He believes the relationship is now romantic/sexual. But he's wrong! He misread her cues. Now he has created a very awkward situation.

Absolutely if the friendship is based on getting a relationship then the guy 'll see what he wants to see.

I'm strictly talking about friendships that are platonic

 

best mate=best friend?

yeah

 

You've already admitted you are not like other men...

I'm not like other men??

 

Yeah okay, i'm definitely not like these "men" people pull up in these so called stats - cheating, non-monogamous.... but these people in these stats - there not real people to me, I base that on the people I know! And theres nothing I'm saying that would make me unusual compared to the majority of them.

[hotpotato]

Well only slightly more picky in my friends, I don't mean incredibly so or anything.

 

 

dunno where did it come from? I've never heard that before in my life!

You've heard it now! i've heard it and seen it first hand.

 

Not at all am I saying we're not different, I know we're different, nor am I saying that lads don't have banter when there together sure do.......I'm saying there's no link between those two things and not being able to have female friends.

Men are very attracted to women. That has A LOT to do with why men and women have difficulty being just friends. It's particularly difficult for men to be just platonic.

 

 

Again I'm not saying all men can be friends with all women, not at all, but despite differences sometimes they can be.

And my sister point wasn't about incest, I meant, yeah guys can be crude but you don't talk about your sister like that right - absolutely not! And believe me when I say I know a lot of guys and they don't talk that way about certain girls be they family, friends, whatever (bare in mind anonymous internet men are different to real men)

A female friend is not a sister.

I work with a lot of men who feel comfortable around me, plus I do research. I'm not just talking about internet guys. But women should see how crude men can be about women.

 

Then straight away that's ruled out of the completely platonic category. If you becoming friends with her because your attracted to her that's not a platonic friendship.

There go most man/woman friendships

 

Absolutely if the friendship is based on getting a relationship then the guy 'll see what he wants to see.

I'm strictly talking about friendships that are platonic

 

But I'm not just talking about that. I think we have a failure to communicate! It's easy for one party to fall in love/lust even if things start off platonic. Things get sexual. People can experience the same relationship in different ways.

 

 

I'm not like other men??

Yes, you say you are pickier.

 

Yeah okay, i'm definitely not like these "men" people pull up in these so called stats - cheating, non-monogamous.... but these people in these stats - there not real people to me, I base that on the people I know! And theres nothing I'm saying that would make me unusual compared to the majority of them.

How come I can't base what I say on people I know?

[Michelle ma Belle]

This is an age-old question. I have a number of male friends and I will admit to having had my fair share of "what if" moments with each of them but have never acted on them for whatever reasons.

 

Does that or should that take away from the friendship I've built with them? Absolutely not. Does that mean we can't or shouldn't be friends? Hell no! As long as each person is a healthy heterosexual, there will always be the "what if" factor embedded in our psyche. Seems perfectly normal to me. Hell, I've had my share of "what if" moments with some of my girlfriends over the years if only out of pure curiosity. Would you question my friendship with them just because we're women?

 

I think it has more to do with what you DO with those thoughts and/or feelings that makes the difference. I don't think it's fair to devalue ANY friendship regardless of the sex just because we might entertain some naughty thoughts every once in a while. We're sexual being after all