Cavendish Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 Hi guys, Hoping you can help with a situation I’m in that’s really confusing. Basically, I REALLY like a guy I have been seeing for about a month but I can’t read his behavior at all! Everything was simple at the beginning - Date 1 and 2 he texted right after, and he seemed very interested. However, after I thought the arrangement for date 3 was sorted, I saw on Facebook (guilty of stalking!) that he was going to event the night we’d agreed on (the exact same time). And he had recently posting about how excited he was, so was definitely actually going. I should probably have left it to see what he did, but I was so keen to see him that I pretended my plans had changed and that I could only do a different day. He said that was fine, we could do that instead. However, I then didn’t hear anything until the day itself (no plan had been made), so texted that day with a ‘are we still on’ message and he replied saying ‘yes, sorry for being so bad at texting.’ I don’t know if we’d have seen each other if I hadn’t driven it with that text. Date 3 was fun again. I actually said at the end (regret coming across so keen!) that we should do it again and he agreed. However, having seen each other on a Wednesday night, I hadn’t heard from him by Monday evening, which I was a bit disappointed by (he’d texted instantly after the first two). I wasn’t sure I was going to hear from him, but then weirdly ran into him Monday night. He apologied for having not texted, again, which was sweet but confusing – it’s not hard to text! He said we needed to work out some plans and I said yes (but didn’t suggest anything further in case he was just being polite) and he got out his phone to go through his availability, which showed some interest. (I should maybe add here that when I saw him it was actually a bit awkward because I was so caught offguard and did not act cool at all – a bit worried this might have put him off!). That was this Monday and we are meant to be seeing each other the Monday coming up. I haven’t heard anything. He might text but do you think this has been driven too much by me and the fact we ran into each other, rather than because he’s interested? Yes, he’s been apologetic about being bad at texting, but if he’s self-aware about it, why isn’t he just texting? Surely if you like somebody you make sure you are on it with the texts? I have shown enough interest that that wouldn’t be a concern and he is definitely a big phone user, so that’s not it either. I like him so much but I’d rather quit while I’m ahead if you don’t think there’s massive interest from him. He’s the first person I’ve been interested in after a very messy and difficult situation broke down last year so really trying to protect myself! Thanks for any insight – going crazy trying to overanalyze!
AntiSocal Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 Ages? Maybe he just doesn't enjoy texting. I'm a young guy but i rarely text girls unless its to setup plans or confirm plans. I like to keep social interaction face to face. A lot more fun that way. Either way you gotta stop over analyzing. From the sound of it you guys are both adults with jobs and responsibilities. He may just be busy with other things. As long as he is seeing you at least once a week i wouldn't really worry about anything. Only thing you can do is see how it plays out. Guard your heart ofcourse. Don't put too much weight into this relationship yet, but hope for the best and see how it goes. And have you considered just being open with him? If i like a girl she can never be too honest with me. You could always just ask him whats up. Tell him you're really into him but not sure if hes on the same page. Will give him an out, while also giving him an IN if he turns out to be just as interested as you.
Gaeta Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 Everything was simple at the beginning - Date 1 and 2 he texted right after, and he seemed very interested. Lets consider that a proof that he is capable of texting. I should probably have left it to see what he did, but I was so keen to see him that I pretended my plans had changed and that I could only do a different day. Yes you should have let it be and let him show you who he really is. The only thing you did here is delay getting to see his true nature. However, I then didn’t hear anything until the day itself (no plan had been made), so texted that day with a ‘are we still on’ message and he replied saying ‘yes, sorry for being so bad at texting.’ Again when faced with his lack of interest you don't let him show you what he's made of. You delay..... However, having seen each other on a Wednesday night, I hadn’t heard from him by Monday evening, which I was a bit disappointed by (he’d texted instantly after the first two). Lack of interest again, even a bigger lack of interest if you don't hear from them over an entire weekend. I wasn’t sure I was going to hear from him, but then weirdly ran into him Monday night. He apologied for having not texted, again, which was sweet but confusing It's not sweet. A man acting like an @ss and knowing he's acting like an @ss is not sweet. That was this Monday and we are meant to be seeing each other the Monday coming up. Well look at that! He schedule you 7 days later, with no specific plans, and not on a weekend. *lack of interest* I like him so much but I’d rather quit while I’m ahead if you don’t think there’s massive interest from him. He’s the first person I’ve been interested in after a very messy and difficult situation broke down last year so really trying to protect myself! It's not because you like someone * a lot * that he's worth pursuing. This man has very little interest in you. Do yourself a favor and move to next. Yes it sucks but someone better is waiting for you. When you meet a man that likes you you won't have to guess if he's into you, it will be really obvious he is. 6
ExpatInItaly Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 I think he's not contacting you much because he's not very interested any longer and he doesn't know how to tell you that. I'm sorry OP, I know it sucks. Been in your shoes! But if were truly keen to see you, he'd be making more of an effort. Plain and simple.
Assasda Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 I think he's not a big texter. I think you are overanalyzing, spend more time together, it doesnt sound too bad
Leigh 87 Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 I think he's not a big texter. I think you are overanalyzing, spend more time together, it doesnt sound too bad You don't know what most men are like when they are really into a girl. Most of the younger/middle aged generation grew up with cell phones. When a guy is really nuts about a girl, he doesn't go a WEEK without contacting her. When a guy is smitten with a girl, he tends to want to hang out with her on weekends; he doesn't have to drop everything, but he spends one day out of the weekend with her. You have some serious issues in understanding men if you think it is "normal" for guys to go WEEKS without texting a girl that they are REALLY crazy about.
organizedchaos Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 You don't know what most men are like when they are really into a girl. Most of the younger/middle aged generation grew up with cell phones. When a guy is really nuts about a girl, he doesn't go a WEEK without contacting her. When a guy is smitten with a girl, he tends to want to hang out with her on weekends; he doesn't have to drop everything, but he spends one day out of the weekend with her. You have some serious issues in understanding men if you think it is "normal" for guys to go WEEKS without texting a girl that they are REALLY crazy about. ^ Correct on all points. No way I'd go a week without contacting a girl I was really in to. A guy who does that is juggling multiple women.
Leigh 87 Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 Well look, I get some men are very busy. Fine! But I know for a fact that even a fire fighter who is on call 48 hours at a time and gets literally no sleep for two days, even THEY would make time to text or briefly call a girl who they were really into. It doesn't have to be a long convo! If they can poo, eat and scratch their bums, that have time to text " hey, thinking of you, busy with my hectic job, can't wait to see you, keep in touch"
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