Have you ever experienced this? Is it time to move on?

[AnneT1985]

Hey y'all!

 

 

I was wondering if any of you have dealt with a situation like this...and if you've ultimately had to end the relationship or ideas on how to deal with it.

 

 

I've been friends with another woman for quite some time. She has some very nice qualities and can be a very nice person, including being very funny. That being said, there is a side to her that can get pretty scary and unnerving. I think she might have some type of rather severe personality disorder (I am not at all generalizing all people with a personality disorder at all-I am just referring to her). She has a real love/hate push/pull relationship with others and it almost seems like she expects others to parent her. She can also get a bit vindictive if she isn't paid the attention she feels she is owed and feels very entitled to it. She has complained that with each of her subsequent pregnancies she is getting less attention and got upset that a friend of hers got engaged "only" 4 weeks after her own wedding and confronted her angrily. She really wants to be a stay at home mom and stopped speaking to another one of her friends because she became a stay at home mom.

 

 

She seems to constantly be on the defensive-almost looking for conflict from others and will project her feelings onto others in a very distorted fashion that can not be reasoned with and puts extremely high expectations onto others, almost like a toddler would put onto their parents as well as displaying manipulative and extremely immature behavior and temper tantrums. She has lost nearly all of her friends. I have been able to remain friends by continuously strengthening my boundaries but it is getting increasingly more challenging as she seems to not understand boundaries- her own feelings, where she ends and others begin. Her emotions and behavior are rather unstable. I feel bad for her and understand she must probably be feeling pretty rotten, but it is getting increasingly difficult to maintain boundaries with her.

 

 

I was wondering if y'all have had such an experience? Is this a situation where the toxicity outweighs the vitality of the relationship? Why might someone act this way if it is clearly destructive to her? What have your experiences been and what would you do?

 

 

Thanks so much y'all! xx

Edited March 14, 2014 by AnneT1985

[AntiSocal]

I used to be like that. Seriously.

 

You can either

A. Try to explain things to her (doubt she'll listen, i never do)

B. Just dump her as a friend. She really has to hit rock bottom. Once shes all alone she'll wonder why. Then she'll figure out what she did wrong and be forced to change herself. Can't force anyone to change. And you can't hang around a person who acts like that.

[AnneT1985]

I used to be like that. Seriously.

 

You can either

A. Try to explain things to her (doubt she'll listen, i never do)

B. Just dump her as a friend. She really has to hit rock bottom. Once shes all alone she'll wonder why. Then she'll figure out what she did wrong and be forced to change herself. Can't force anyone to change. And you can't hang around a person who acts like that.

 

 

 

Really enlightening perspective AntiSocal!