anemptycup Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 (edited) I know there's a lot of people suffering on here - seeking support. I am one. I have been learning so much since my Break-up two months ago ( we were together 3 years - my first long relationship) It's all about THOUGHTS. What you think, will cause you to feel in a certain way. Thinking about our exs will only strengthen those memories. If we keep missing them - we'll strengthen the thoughts of missing them. It's very hard to do this - but, we need to start CONDITIONING our mind (Brainwashing ourselves) to think differently. Wanting it, is not enough - because, it's just too damn hard - and most of us on here, are too loyal, too loving, and care too much - we feel like the memories are all we have left - and if we let go of the thoughts of our ex - it will really be over for good - and that thought scares us. Deep inside, we all just want to be happy - with or without our ex. And it's all about what you think. STEP 1) We must be aware of our thoughts - and realize when we are strengthening thoughts of Missing our Ex - the truth is - we aren't even missing the real person - we are missing a fantasy of the person we have created in our heads. So, we need to catch ourselves thinking of these things - and understand those thoughts will only cause pain and nothing good. STEP 2) we must visualize ourselves being happy without our Ex. spend 60 seconds - just sitting there and visualize being happy - being confident - being at peace - being Free without our ex. Visualize a new GF or BF if you can - but take it step by step - and try to have these thoughts as often as you can - they are like mental push-ups... the more you think them... the more you will be able to phsyically achieve them. In order to become something - you must envision it, think it first... Spend as much of your free time Thinking about being happy - fantasize it.. i know it's VERY hard - but Darkness is a waste of time... and energy... THINK yourself OUT of this situation.. do it everyday... and do not allow thoughts of HER to dominate.... Repeat to yourself "I am pretty much AWESOME" over and over again... because we really are - we care so much - we are so loyal to our exes... we love so much - we are so full of emotion - and that is life... tell yourself RIGHT now after reading this... how awesome you are "I am Awesome, I am Awesome, I am Awesome" do it! and GOOD LUCK. Edited March 13, 2014 by anemptycup
Tulipsgold Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 I like this post, cause it is very true. My ex has become "the one and only" for me, but only after we broke up. Before that, I was rational enough to think I could be able to fall in love with someoje else. Only now, when the pain, the heartache and the sadness takes over, I can't believe I ever want and could be with somebody else. It is exactly as you say, we need to control our minds and let go. THANK YOU,, 1
mtnbiker3000 Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 Yes. I have been over the trauma and heartbreak for a long time. But the thoughts are what are still causing me trouble. Hard to get past. Very hard!!! 1
Kopite Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 Good post. Very hard to do. At the same time, it's important that everyone ventures through that darkness (on the edge of town) to experience the lows in order to truly enjoy the highs after. 1
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