Lanza Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 She broke up out of the blue more than a week ago. Last Sunday she broke the no contact rule. So told her I don't want to be friends, don't want her to speak to me again and that she has to stay away from me. She was upset I said that. After 4 days of NC she broke the no contact rule again today and asked me if we could meet (she said on whatsapp). She wanted to talk and explain things. So she will come at my home this weekend. I told her again today that I don't want to be friends because it hurts and she understood. Few hours later she was apping me again and started flirting with me. She was talking about a few funny things that happened to us (things that happened in bed). So it was kind of sexually also, she is talking again like she is my gf. Ofcourse I flirt back a little too, but aloof. Because I don't want to lose her. I don't understand, why is she doing this? She knows I don't want to be friends.. I'm afraid she is playing with my feelings, I don't know what to do..
somecamel Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 She broke up out of the blue more than a week ago. Last Sunday she broke the no contact rule. So told her I don't want to be friends, don't want her to speak to me again and that she has to stay away from me. She was upset I said that. After 4 days of NC she broke the no contact rule again today and asked me if we could meet (she said on whatsapp). She wanted to talk and explain things. So she will come at my home this weekend. I told her again today that I don't want to be friends because it hurts and she understood. Few hours later she was apping me again and started flirting with me. She was talking about a few funny things that happened to us (things that happened in bed). So it was kind of sexually also, she is talking again like she is my gf. Ofcourse I flirt back a little too, but aloof. Because I don't want to lose her. I don't understand, why is she doing this? She knows I don't want to be friends.. I'm afraid she is playing with my feelings, I don't know what to do.. People don't just break up out of the blue. How had the relationship been the last few months? How long were you together? Is there someone else maybe?
Author Lanza Posted March 13, 2014 Author Posted March 13, 2014 She only said she needed space and is confused with herself. But why does she suddenly act like this? She brings up old inside jokes and nicknames and won't stop talking to me. The old jokes we used to talk about were about sex and stuff, she was talking about it the whole midday. She even is talking to me right now. We were together half a year and everything was going fine, 2 days before she broke up she even said I was her everything. So I don't understand.. What do I need to do?
lvroflife Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 She maybe confused. But the question is, is she confused because she is scared about her feelings for you and afraid you may hurt her. Or is she confused because someone else caught her attention
Author Lanza Posted March 13, 2014 Author Posted March 13, 2014 To keep you updated.. Now she brings up other good memories, I'm so confused..
lauri Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 To keep you updated.. Now she brings up other good memories, I'm so confused.. If you want to have any chance of getting her back you need to disappear now..ignore her texts and comments. If she comes crawling back to you, you say I've moved on. She wants to feel like she still has you without even being with you. She will keep you around until she finds someone else...her primary concern is to make sure you are hooked and around in case things don't work out. If she even says I made a mistake I want you back, tell her you need time to think because she is emotionally unstable. All I'm saying is don't be easy and don't be around. If she doesn't end up coming back, you end up moving along in your healing process and start to move forward. If she does, you have the power to decide what decision you want to make. But I promise you, if you stay around she will be so far gone you won't EVER have a chance of being back with her. The question is how much pain do you want to be in? I can tell you now you will be in a lot more pain if you continue to talk to her as she is all over the place. 2
somecamel Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 If you want to have any chance of getting her back you need to disappear now..ignore her texts and comments. If she comes crawling back to you, you say I've moved on. She wants to feel like she still has you without even being with you. She will keep you around until she finds someone else...her primary concern is to make sure you are hooked and around in case things don't work out. If she even says I made a mistake I want you back, tell her you need time to think because she is emotionally unstable. All I'm saying is don't be easy and don't be around. If she doesn't end up coming back, you end up moving along in your healing process and start to move forward. If she does, you have the power to decide what decision you want to make. But I promise you, if you stay around she will be so far gone you won't EVER have a chance of being back with her. The question is how much pain do you want to be in? I can tell you now you will be in a lot more pain if you continue to talk to her as she is all over the place. THIS I wouldn't be surprised if there is another guy on the scene already and she's testing the waters to see how hot they are. Please start to look after yourself, by continually messaging her back you're feeding her ego and you're the one that's going to be dropped at the end of this.
Author Lanza Posted March 13, 2014 Author Posted March 13, 2014 She said she is talking about this because she is not over me.
Chi townD Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 I agree with Somecamel. If she said that she was confused, then there's usually someone else. Girls and guys don't end a relationship because they're confused. Which tells me that they're confused about their feelings about you and someone else. 2
somecamel Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 She said she is talking about this because she is not over me. She's not over you, that doesn't mean she wants to be with you anymore. It's a hard road my friend
somecamel Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 Should I ask her? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO That will make you look weak. Are you not bothered about the reasons why?
Author Lanza Posted March 13, 2014 Author Posted March 13, 2014 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO That will make you look weak. Are you not bothered about the reasons why? I am bothered about the reasons why she broke up. She will be here this Sunday. And we are going to talk about it. Now I stopped talking to her and ignored her. I don't think it has to do with some dude, we have common friends. They would know and tell me.
lolablue17 Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 People are not always Know exactly how they feel. Sometimes, aspecialy when you're young, everyone can be confused lookoing for their way. The NC is a good advise. But its not the only option, depends on you're character. One idea is to not only cooperate with her flirting, but take it further on, something like "hey, I just wonder, are you trying to seduce me? should I change sheets on weekend"? Because maybe thats what she is trying to do. You can go for it or not. She told you she needs some space. That means she felt pressured in your R and maybe it was too heavy for her. If you flirt with her, and you dont act too seriously and not pushing her to heavy talks too soon, letting her feel some space during your communication, you also might have her back. (I say - only if you want to, and willing to take the chance to be hurt again)
Author Lanza Posted March 13, 2014 Author Posted March 13, 2014 People are not always Know exactly how they feel. Sometimes, aspecialy when you're young, everyone can be confused lookoing for their way. The NC is a good advise. But its not the only option, depends on you're character. One idea is to not only cooperate with her flirting, but take it further on, something like "hey, I just wonder, are you trying to seduce me? should I change sheets on weekend"? Because maybe thats what she is trying to do. You can go for it or not. She told you she needs some space. That means she felt pressured in your R and maybe it was too heavy for her. If you flirt with her, and you dont act too seriously and not pushing her to heavy talks too soon, letting her feel some space during your communication, you also might have her back. (I say - only if you want to, and willing to take the chance to be hurt again) Yes she needs some space, I asked for NC but she is breaking it all time. I have quick temperament but I'm just tired of being mad angry, so I accept it for now and try to stay cool. About 2 days she will visit me anyway, so there is no need to ignore her now. If I do it will make things worse I think. Last one is good, she is never going to admit she is seducing me. She is too stubborn for that. I'll flirt a bit back but aloof.
pickflicker Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 She's not breaking, you are. Ignore her when she contacts you. NC maintained.
Author Lanza Posted March 13, 2014 Author Posted March 13, 2014 She's not breaking, you are. Ignore her when she contacts you. NC maintained. Okay, I'll do that. Thanks;)
lauri Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 Yes she needs some space, I asked for NC but she is breaking it all time. I have quick temperament but I'm just tired of being mad angry, so I accept it for now and try to stay cool. About 2 days she will visit me anyway, so there is no need to ignore her now. If I do it will make things worse I think. Last one is good, she is never going to admit she is seducing me. She is too stubborn for that. I'll flirt a bit back but aloof. Uh god man...trust me I've been in your shoes. My suggestion is you DON'T see her on Sunday and ditch her. Tell her something came up, ditch her and don't respond. I promise you if you meet her she will find so many reasons why you are done with and will validate her feelings. You are WAY too easy for her and not a challenge. I'm telling you take my advice and you'll be able to get a feeling for her interest level. When she says she is "confused", it normally means she already has you on the way out, her interest level is low but she doesn't want to let you off too hard. Why are you even going to flirt with her? To make her feel like what she did was OKAY? Dude, she BROKE up with you. Flirting with her is the last thing you want to do. What you want to do is show you have self-control and you are a challenge, and a MAN with confidence who MOVES on from a girl who doesn't WANT him because there is 100 million other girls out there who do. 1
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