Dylan Posted January 26, 2005 Posted January 26, 2005 OK, quick overview: I'm 22, and there's a girl I've been talking to for about three weeks now who is 23. We've both been very busy over the last couple of weeks, and we've only been able to go out once so far, but when the date was over, she hugged me, told me she had a good time, and told me to call her. That was about a week and a half ago. I saw her a couple of days later at a local cafe, and we talked a bit. When the conversation was over, she said it again: "Give me a call, or I'll call you." So I called her the next night (last Tuesday night), and she told me she was leaving to go out of town the following morning. I asked her when she would be back, and she said, "I should be back by the end of the weekend...give me a call around Sunday." Well, last Friday night, since it had been a few days since I had last talked to her, I decided to send her a short text message, basically just to say hey and see how she was doing. She replied with: "Hey, Dylan! Call me later this weekend, or I'll call you when I get back in town." So, I called her Sunday night, and she was still out of town. I talked to her for a few minutes and asked her how her trip was, and asked her when she would be back. She said she would be back either Monday or today...she wasn't sure yet. So before we got off the phone, I asked her if she wanted to go out again one night this week after she got back, and she said yes. Then she said, "I'll give you a call when I get back in town." She should be back by now, but I'm not sure if she is. Things seemed to be going well: she seems to like me, always makes extended eye contact with me, laughs at my jokes (even when they're not funny ), asks me to call her, returns my calls, etc., and she really seemed to enjoy herself when we went out. Now maybe I'm just over-reacting, but it's Tuesday night, and she still hasn't called me. I guess I'm just worried because you have no idea how many times a girl has seemed interested, told me "I'll call you", and then never called. Should I wait another day or two? Or should I go ahead and call her sometime tomorrow?
InsideOut Posted January 26, 2005 Posted January 26, 2005 Hi Dylan: I would call her when you say you'd call her. Having said that, you've been initiating too much contact too soon, IMO! I say that you need to give her time to "catch her breath", and most importantly, give her time to think about you! (Let her wonder who you are, what you're about, I had a fun time with Dylan -- I'd like to see him again... etc.) I understand that it's hard to wait it out... but it's so important. I understand that you really like this girl, and it looks like she likes you too... that's great! Objectively, I see that you're making yourself too available for her... in my experience, a gal needs to see that the guy is "independent", busy for himself, to respect him! (Keep this in mind as this will separate you from the other guys also pursuing her.) One more thing... IMHO, when a gal says "call me later"... think of it as her test... will this guy call me right away, putting me ("relatively" still a stranger) so before himself, OR will he call me after he's finished taking care of himself and his needs. I hope this helped!
BrainRightHeartWrong Posted January 26, 2005 Posted January 26, 2005 Should I wait another day or two? Or should I go ahead and call her sometime tomorrow? hold your horses dude! you have already made the effort 100% so now the ball is in her court! you should wait for either of two things to happen... 1. she will call you if she is interested in you! i have had girls call me 1 month later than they should have ( in which time i lost interest in them and declined their offer! ) 2. she is just being polite and really won't call you again ( i've had this happen to me too, don't wait by the phone because it never rings! )
sinkerswim Posted January 26, 2005 Posted January 26, 2005 yeah I would wait for her to call you now.. Youve called her alot..so try to wait. I know its hard..Oh God... I DO KNOW!! Im kind of in the same boat...I met a guy last week and we hit it off immediately..it was wonderful. He couldnt wait to see me again..we definitely had sparks and kissed the first night we met. A couple days later...he came to my place and we had a wonderful time. He told me I was fabulous, sweet..told me what he liked about me..etc. Said he couldnt wait to see me again. Well, hes a business man and is very busy..but the last Ive heard from him was 2 days ago...NOW im paranoid. I wrote to him yesterday and didnt get a response back. So everyone is telling ME that to wait...the ball is in his court and let him do the chasing now. So..I know how you feel. good luck!
iceisles Posted January 26, 2005 Posted January 26, 2005 Originally posted by sinkerswim Well, hes a business man and is very busy..but the last Ive heard from him was 2 days ago...NOW im paranoid. I wrote to him yesterday and didnt get a response back. How much time should pass before we are legitimately concerned about this paranoia? At what stage do you say to yourself, "I guess he/she isn't interested"? A few days? A few weeks?
Pocky Posted January 26, 2005 Posted January 26, 2005 I know when you're really looking forward to something a few days may seem like a long time, but I blink and a few days pass. I'd say if a week passes and you don't hear, they're not interested. I wouldn't start worrying after only two days.
Hund1976 Posted January 26, 2005 Posted January 26, 2005 Wait a few days, she said she would call you when she got back into town so wait and see if that happens. If she doesn't call you wait until next week and call her and ask her out. If she asks why you didn't call don't get snippy and be like "oh I thought you were supposed to call me" but just say something like "Oh I was really busy the last few days" Most likely that would make her become more interested in you. In the meantime find something else to do so you're not sitting around waiting for her to call.
kanga Posted January 26, 2005 Posted January 26, 2005 Do you know the kind of trip she's on? Vacations typically end when you think they will. Business trips could go a few days later than anticipated. Emergencies can last indefinitely. She's already said she was staying days or so later than planned. She could still be away. I wouldn't get so worked up over a day or so. Give her a week or two to return and settle back in and hten call.
Author Dylan Posted January 26, 2005 Author Posted January 26, 2005 OK, no more worries. She called me earlier. I just don't like playing the waiting game....very stressful. Especially since I've heard "I'll call you" from a number of girls in the past, and then never heard from them. But thanks for all the replies.
sinkerswim Posted January 26, 2005 Posted January 26, 2005 good to hear she called you! I heard from my guy too, earlier today!
kanga Posted January 26, 2005 Posted January 26, 2005 kudos to those who call back and the happiness it brings to us who have waited.
tigerskye Posted January 26, 2005 Posted January 26, 2005 The girl will call when she is ready to call. Even if it is a week after she said she would call. When you first start taking out a girl. If she says she will call, LET HER CALL! If she tells you to call her, CALL HER. Don't make her feel like she is being pressured into talking to you or having to talk to you. I mean if a guy friend of yours told you he would call you and did not, you would think nothing of it! So do the same, she will call you if she is interested, if not move on!
Midwest guy Posted January 26, 2005 Posted January 26, 2005 Originally posted by tigerskye The girl will call when she is ready to call. Even if it is a week after she said she would call. When you first start taking out a girl. If she says she will call, LET HER CALL! If she tells you to call her, CALL HER. Don't make her feel like she is being pressured into talking to you or having to talk to you. I mean if a guy friend of yours told you he would call you and did not, you would think nothing of it! So do the same, she will call you if she is interested, if not move on! That girl that I like at work did the same thing to me. She wouldnt give me her number so she said she would call me and I asked her if she promise and she said yes. I reminded her each day and she would say shes busy or some really lame excuse like going to the movies. I just had someone at work give me her cell number and went behind her back to get it and call her. She said that was kinda rude of me to call her when she said she didnt want me calling. Could she think Im a stalker like guy and she didnt want to give me her number? I called her a week ago and she was really nice to me.
iceisles Posted January 26, 2005 Posted January 26, 2005 Originally posted by Midwest guy Could she think Im a stalker like guy and she didnt want to give me her number? I called her a week ago and she was really nice to me. Yes, she will probably think that. I made that mistake once. Real bad move. In general, when someone doesn't give you their number, it means adios to you.
kanga Posted January 27, 2005 Posted January 27, 2005 Originally posted by Midwest guy Could she think Im a stalker like guy and she didnt want to give me her number? I called her a week ago and she was really nice to me. Wow. That's not a very smooth move. Yes, she did not want to give you her number. And even if you came across it somehow, you still shouldn't call her. A guy I met at an event emailed the next morning. I was lukewarm at best when talking to him and I didn't give him my contact information. He found my email address from a google search or some group email list. Just because you have the information does not mean you should use it. Back off way, way far away. If she's interested, she'll contact you. Really, she will.
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