FrostBlaze Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 (edited) "Sorry i tried to make this work but i just can't, i feel trapped with you.../suffocated" What does it mean in general? "to feel trapped? i got no ideea what it means, literally. Edited March 13, 2014 by FrostBlaze
Emilia Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 That you were overbearing, probably controlling, wanting too much from her too quickly. Trapped/suffocated usually refers to the feeling of being made responsible for the other person's happiness. 1
Author FrostBlaze Posted March 13, 2014 Author Posted March 13, 2014 This is something someone told me long ago, i just go reminded through another topic and wanted to find out more. Thank you for your reply. However i was not controlling or wanting much from her, i liked my free time i let her have hers, in fact she would get mad that i wasn't giving her enough. So i'm pretty sure that wasn't the prob. Overbearing, yeah sure, that one i can agree to, i am like that i guess. I mean i didn't order her around and request stuff, i just gave her my opinion and advice in a overbearing way, i considered my way the best way most of the time, but that's it. I thought maybe it's a commitement fobe thing..."feeling trap". Awaiting more replies from other people thank you.
Emilia Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 Overbearing, yeah sure, that one i can agree to, i am like that i guess. I mean i didn't order her around and request stuff, i just gave her my opinion and advice in a overbearing way, i considered my way the best way most of the time, but that's it. This is it then. See what anyone else says of course but I think your behaviour would annoy most people in a relationship. It would certainly annoy me, I experienced it. 1
Author FrostBlaze Posted March 13, 2014 Author Posted March 13, 2014 I always wanted to talk it out with her and tell me what i did wrong, always told her she can tell me anything wrong about me so we can work it out, little compromises, because i was really unaware of this behavior, now that i think about it, ik it's true i was like that. But she avoided that, never told me one thing she thought was wrong with me, i was always like "u just like me like this? surely something is off ". Thank you again, i will try to change that, i really don't notice it most of the time unless i really think about it.
GoreSP Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 "Sorry i tried to make this work but i just can't, i feel trapped with you.../suffocated" What does it mean in general? "to feel trapped? i got no ideea what it means, literally. a) she isn't interested and this is her excuse b) you've been texting her non stop and constantly demanding her attention when she is busy or in general.
AntiSocal Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 a) she isn't interested and this is her excuse b) you've been texting her non stop and constantly demanding her attention when she is busy or in general. Basically this. she probably just wasn't attracted to you. I have been overbearing in the past and girls will usually put up with it for a long time/work to fix it. If she just dumped you she wasn't really that into the relationship from the start.
Emilia Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 Basically this. she probably just wasn't attracted to you. I have been overbearing in the past and girls will usually put up with it for a long time/work to fix it. If she just dumped you she wasn't really that into the relationship from the start. Depends on the woman, the more assertive ones with self esteem won't tolerate it for long. I always wanted to talk it out with her and tell me what i did wrong, always told her she can tell me anything wrong about me so we can work it out, little compromises, because i was really unaware of this behavior, now that i think about it, ik it's true i was like that. But she avoided that, never told me one thing she thought was wrong with me, i was always like "u just like me like this? surely something is off ". Thank you again, i will try to change that, i really don't notice it most of the time unless i really think about it. Well it seems you were conscious of it if you questioned her. The thing is overbearing behaviour can take the other person's confidence away and a lot of women don't have that much of it to start with anyway. She wouldn't have necessarily known how to express it and would have perhaps felt that she wasn't good enough. I went out with someone recently who can be overbearing. Not out of meanness or nastiness, it's just that he is a bulldozer when he wants something and while I'm no shrinking violet, I had to be on my toes initially to keep my boundaries. Then we worked it out by having several conversations about it and it became much better. I gather he was also more comfortable with me. Maybe that's partly it too, maybe the two of you just weren't compatible. Perhaps you need a woman who stands up for herself. My ex was certainly like that. Otherwise he had no respect and got bored.
Author FrostBlaze Posted March 14, 2014 Author Posted March 14, 2014 (edited) It's not that i knew i was overbearing, but i know noone is perfect so she had to not like something about me. And yeah her lack of effort in trying to talk about it or fix it shows she was not interested. I always tried. + Despite being a arrogant overbearing kind of guy(as it seems i am, never gave it much thought), not only Her but people in general end up doing what i said in the first place...it's why i think my ways are better, because i don't recommend something unless i've allready done it and know that it's good. When i know nothing about the topic, i'm a keep to just simple suggestions, in a not so demanding manner xD. And hmm yeah i want a woman who can fight for herself, ofc i like to fight her battles and help out,(knight issues) but when she is being picked on and controlled by her peers at work/familly as with my ex, i always told her what to do to change it all, i just wanted what was better. She only stands for herself infront of me, but strangers? God forbid. My bossy atitude is good and bad as other ppl have told me, i just need to work on it, but i don't think it's a bad behavior in general. Thank you for the replies. PS: No i wasn't doing no 2, she was no 2, texting me all day, "missing" me after just 4-5 hours of not talking to her.(work) Talked about it and it stopped being so often. (unimportant now, iz a thing of the past) Edited March 14, 2014 by FrostBlaze
Emilia Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 + Despite being a arrogant overbearing kind of guy, not only Her but people in general end up doing what i said in the first place...it's why i think my ways are better, because i don't recommend something unless i've allready done it and know that it's good. When i know nothing about the topic, i'm a keep to just simple suggestions, in a not so demanding manner xD. Perhaps but having someone around that always knows is better is exhausting. You should let people find stuff out for themselves. It's not like you were her father. It's not a matter or right or wrong sometimes, life isn't black or white a lot of the time and it's kind of annoying when someone tries to make it so.
regine_phalange Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 Ive said it when I felt I had to sacrifice my self esteem to be with someone. Describes a general feeling of discomfort on the pit of my stomach. And it always wins. 1
Author FrostBlaze Posted March 14, 2014 Author Posted March 14, 2014 (edited) Ive said it when I felt I had to sacrifice my self esteem to be with someone. Describes a general feeling of discomfort on the pit of my stomach. And it always wins. Meaning you thought you we're to good for that person? Inferior to you. Might not of really understood that part, my english is not what it once was. Edited March 14, 2014 by FrostBlaze
regine_phalange Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 Meaning you thought you we're to good for that person? Inferior to you. Might not of really understood that part, my english is not what it once was. Thats ok, its not my native language either. No not inferior. But maybe this person said or did things that insulted my intelligence or/and my own pride.
Recommended Posts