roxy_1980 Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 I dated this guy in the summer of 2003. It was great. But he had to go off to school and we thought at that point we could possibly never live in the same city ever again. Not wanting to endure a long distance relationship forever, we broke up that September. (He broke it off, but I was starting to think the same thing). In a change of fate, we end up living in the same city as of September. But we didn't really see each other around. This New Year's Eve, he starts talking to at the party of a mutual friend. We reconnect and ended up kissing that night. I drove him back to where he was staying the next morning. We talked quite a bit lately, but haven't seen each because he in bogged down with schoolwork and can't get over to see me. He keeps reassuring that things will let up soon and we'll be able to spend time with me. OK. Is this situation deserving of a second chance? Is he genuine in his intentions to rekindle what we had or is he avoiding me and finding a way to break it to me? Link to post Share on other sites
BrainRightHeartWrong Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 OK. Is this situation deserving of a second chance? Is he genuine in his intentions to rekindle what we had or is he avoiding me and finding a way to break it to me? very hard to say here, what you should do is have a good honest talk with him and put your cards on the table to find out! yes second chances sometimes can work, i know people who had to breakup due to one of them going travelling for a year... both of them dated and slept with other people during this year, when she came back they met up and now they are married with a child as for my recent second chance... it lasted all of 24 hours as she changed her mind again 8 days of no contact for me so far and it is so bloody hard to do it! Link to post Share on other sites
Author roxy_1980 Posted January 28, 2005 Author Share Posted January 28, 2005 We had a long talk last night (2 hours). I put my feelings out there and he assured me that this is what he wants and he's not going anywhere. Also, his schedule has let up and he's coming over this weekend. So things are looking up. As for the second chance thing. I guess I'll just have to wait and see if things work out. Link to post Share on other sites
DreamLilies Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 I wish you the best of luck. I hope that it all turns out the way you want it to. Please keep us posted. Peace and blessings! Link to post Share on other sites
Weird Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 Of coruse 2nd chances can work. The reason they usually dont is because people get back together and act the SAME way and make the same mistakes. Logically if people do not change anything from the first time the 2nd time won't work. As for your situation, sounds like it is worth trying. Seems the reason for the first break was the distance and now there is no distance issue. Good luck:) Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 I agree that this sounds like a good second chance and wish you the best of luck. Tell us how you get on! Link to post Share on other sites
Author roxy_1980 Posted February 2, 2005 Author Share Posted February 2, 2005 Update 2 Well, he came over last weekend and we're going out tomorrow. I had so much fun on the weekend and can't wait till our date. We finally get our real chance together!! I wanna thank everyone for their encouragement. I guess I just have heard so many stories about second chances gone wrong that I got worried. Circumstances do count. Thanks again. Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted February 2, 2005 Share Posted February 2, 2005 Hehey! This sounds great. I'm dying to know how the date goes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author roxy_1980 Posted February 3, 2005 Author Share Posted February 3, 2005 I am so excited. I just came home from our date tonite. It ended kinda early because he has an 8 o'clock class tomorrow morning. He surprised me! He brought me to the small skating pond at the park near his apartment. It should noted here that I can't skate and I told him that when we were together last year. He borrowed one of his cousin's pair of skates, since I didn't have any and it was surprise. Confused, I ask if he remembered that I couldn't skate. He said yes and that it was about time that I learned how. He did remember!! We had a great time. I fell a few times, but he was always there to catch me. And he picked the perfect place, because no-one was there and I would have felt self conscious at a big public arena with alot of people. It was so perfect. But now I need you guys help again. I wanna do something special for him. He's a huge hockey fan and going loopy not being able to watch his NHL. I wanna get tix to the minor hockey team in town (the highest level of hockey available here). But I wanna make it special. Any suggestions to spice up the evening? I have to admit that I didn't always try last time around and I wanna change that. So please help me. Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted February 3, 2005 Share Posted February 3, 2005 Originally posted by roxy_1980 But now I need you guys help again. I wanna do something special for him. He's a huge hockey fan and going loopy not being able to watch his NHL. I wanna get tix to the minor hockey team in town (the highest level of hockey available here). But I wanna make it special. Any suggestions to spice up the evening? I have to admit that I didn't always try last time around and I wanna change that. So please help me. Great news about the day Roxy. But please resist the urge to go overboard on making things special or spicing up the evening. He did something cute and thoughtful for you with the skating - very good sign. But left early - not such a good sign, whatever the reason. On balance positive, but I'd say he's still at the not sure/mixed signals stage. My advice: keep showing friendly, receptive and appreciative signals, let him arrange another date. Or, if you must arrange the next date, keep it light, fun and simple. You need to see that he has progressed past the "not sure" stage before you arrange something big. Link to post Share on other sites
Weird Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 Another canuck...cool! Where in Ontario are you? Good to hear the date went well:) Link to post Share on other sites
Author roxy_1980 Posted February 4, 2005 Author Share Posted February 4, 2005 Yeah, maybe something big is too soon. I'm holding off on the hockey game for now. You cannot live continally in grand gestures anyway. I think I'll save it for later. Maybe his birthday next month. For now, we're going to play pool on Tuesday. We're both going home for the weekend, so it had to be next week. Thanks for the perspective. It help me not make an @$$ of myself. Definitely too soon for grand gestures. I guess I was just too excited the other night. Link to post Share on other sites
Author roxy_1980 Posted February 10, 2005 Author Share Posted February 10, 2005 Pool yesterday was cancelled. He's sick and can't even get up long enough to attend classes the last couple days. I told him that we'd go out again when he felt better. He said he felt bad about cancelling, but just couldn't muster the strength to get himself out of bed. I told him to get better soon and ended the phone convo. I would have felt bad making him talk to me while he sounded so miserable. Hmmm....looking back on what I've written here...we're starting to sound like a solid regular couple than just a second chance. And since the dates have been going well and we've been together for a while now, I think this will be my last post about this. Thank you for everyone's input. It helped us get over the hump. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts