Vivienne Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 I started seeing someone last week. I have always known who he was though. (mutually although never met him). I knew OF him because I was seeing/having sex with his roommate for maybe 4 months? So although we have never met, he knew who I was, and I knew who he was, and we always were attracted to each other through a long series of stories I won't go rambling over haha. I started seeing him a week and a half away, a very casual and sexual relationship I intended it to be, until I realized a couple days in that he was actually really fun and I like him. (So weird to happen to me so fast especially because I wanted just a friends with benefits relationship). So we established that we were exclusive because we both wanted to be, but he said he won't say no to anything that has potential because I'm leaving the city in 2 months. (I live in one city for school and another city 3 hours away during the holidays). I told him I had feelings for him multiple times, and he says he likes me too. I am a very impulsive person, and although I know I like him, I know I will be leaving in 2 months so my feelings/emotions, although exciting and bold, are pretty easily held back. He says he wants to be exclusive with me UNLESS he finds some new girl within the span of now and when I leave, but then he says he's not 'chasing other girls.' I think it's pretty crazy and weird that we're exclusive after 1 week. He wants to be exclusive, but he says he wants to 'keep it simple.' I'm having a little trouble understanding that. I also think I am more into than he is. I always get mixed signals from him ie. he almost never messages me first, and when we do talk via text, he seems uninterested. But INTUITIVELY (I'm not ditzy, I swear), I know that he is interested. Is he just nervous? He says he overthinks a lot and he has 'trust issues.' I know it's only been a week, but I want to understand him as much as possible in different ways (through explicitly asking him, and asking a plethor of people via internet). He likes me enough to be exclusive and got annoyed when I asked 'does me leaving in 2 months mean we're not exclusive?'. But he seems disinterested when we talk. He wants to keep it simple, but also wants to be exclusive? Then he says 'if anything happens, I won't rule it out because you're leaving soon,' and then says he's not chasing girls. I'm just completely confused lol. What do you guys think? Anything to help me understand the situation, really.
germain Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 A few things jump out at me. He says you're exclusive but is not ruling out another girl? I feel like when you become exclusive, you do it because you really want to and honestly aren't looking for someone else. Whether he is actively looking or not, he is looking, in a way. It's only been a week! That seems a little quick, even you say so. I just don't feel like the feelings you need to keep an exclusive relationship going will be established within a week of dating. Your leaving puts a lot of strain on the relationship. He is understandably hesitant. Even if he is really into you, it's going to be hard to convince himself that the emotional investment will be worth it with you leaving so soon. So he seems like a good guy, because he is being honest. But I think you investing a lot since you're leaving is going to hurt you even more in the end, regardless of how much he's invested. I was actually in a similar situation. We had known for over a year that she would be leaving. Yet we still got really close and it was devastating when the day finally came. We tried the long distance thing, but that's incredibly hard to pull off, even at a year together. Just look at the sub-forum on here. It's rough. Interestingly, she had also been sort of a summer fling type thing years before we dated. Honestly, that has probably been a much more positive memory of my time with her than the struggles we had while dating. I say keep it like that. Enjoy the moment you guys have, and when it's time to move on, you guys agree to move on. This is long, and I'm rambling. I hope it helps some.
Recommended Posts