Break up...Right choice?

[ju5aguy]

So my girl and I dated for 10 months ( im 27 shes 25). When we started, I fell hard. I knew I had to be around her as much as possible. We started chatting, she said she didn't want a boyfriend. I told her I was looking for something serious, and said maybe we should be friends. But we kept hanging out, and with no pressure agreed to be boyfriend/girlfriend.

 

At the time, I lived one hour away. I was always driving down to see her. Whatever time of day, regardless if I had work early or not. I just wanted to see her. She invited me to all kinds of events with her family, but would tend to break plans with me if plans with her friends popped up. Which bothered me, but I figured I knew she said she wasn't all the way ready, so I just gave her space and was patient.

 

One weekend, we went to a wedding. We were talking on the drive there, and we joked about the red flags she displayed early on that she wasnt a good gf. I joked, and she said there is still a big part of her that doesn't want to be in a relationship, but I "treat her so good, she doesn't want to leave." Following that, we had big fight over her not wanting to come out with one of my oldest friends, who she never met. She said she had to study, but then went out with her friends instead. She got very nasty. Now in my eyes I had been doing everything possible to make this work. I didn't bring up when she blew me off, I was there when she needed. I was sweet, leaving notes, and texts, and she didn't really return that all that much, and it sucked but I thought she just might need some time. Well she got mean, and told me I always waste her time, and don't make her feel like special enough. I think it was this time because I called her out on it. She knew I was upset about everything, and we made plans to meet. Then she cancelled to meet with her friend (who she sees everyday in school). So we broke up. We got back together, but I was very cautious. She also, then told me two weeks later, that she only apologized because we had a trip planned, and she didn't actually think she was wrong.

 

We got back together, and things were ok, but things only got marginally better. I realized, that I loved her. And I wasn't happy with things, but I needed to tell her that. So I drove the hour away, just to see her for a half hour and tell her in person that I love her. She cried, and said that she just doesn't feel the same, but could see herself getting there. I understood, and took it. She said between school, me, her family, and her friends she was just really stressed...So then, a week later, she adopts a dog. Now I love dogs, but I felt so hurt. Here I am trying to make this work, and she is complaining she is stretched too thin, but then gets a dog? So we end up breaking up again, but again I caved when she contacted me.

 

Things got a little better, over xmas and new years, but there were still issues. She spent more time worrying over the dog. Visits were now cut short because she had the dog to worry about. I tried to help train the dog with her, and she would get mad and say its her dog, she wants to things her way. So then I had minor surgery, and I was really scared about it. She didn't call the night before, because she was out with her friends. Then she never called the next morning before hand, but did come up after. Only with the intention of going to NYC to see her best friend the next day. When I didnt feel up for t, she decided shed stay with me, but I had to hear about it for the next weeks. From then on, every weekend was like we have plans, shed cancel or change them, and then I'd be waiting around for plans.

 

Then I figured I would try to go big for Valentines day. I sent her two sets of flowers, one for the day before so she could be surprised and one for the day of valentines day, and then a nice dinner and a beautiful engraved locket. She got the first set of flowers and sent me a text to thank me, and then asked if I got her an edible arragnement...which I didn't. I told her that, and her response was 'oh...well i still like my flowers.' Well I finally lost it, and told her that I was done.

 

Obviously there were some good times and I highlighted my perspective of the bad times, but even so...do you guys think I made the right choice?

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

I think you absolutely made the right choice! One-sided relationships can never work out. Both sides have to be willing to give. She seems a bit selfish and self-absorbed, and obviously didn't care as much for you as you did for her. You deserve someone that cares just as much. Good for you. Stick to your guns, go NC, and eventually you'll find that person that truly makes you happy.