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Should I do a trial with the annoying Ex? Lol


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Posted (edited)

Hey guys. I got a dilemma here. It got my mind twisted up in knots, unfortunately. :rolleyes:

 

Right so, I live in Montreal now. I had an ex that i dated for 8 months in his city, when I lived in Ottawa for school. This happened in 2012. I moved back home in the Spring of 2013 because I didn't like the program nor did I find living here useful to me. It's really small and everyone there knows each other which can get irritating (I am not really a gossip girl but I do like x's and o's lol). Everyone there knew we dated at some point and knew the entire story, the good and bad. I find the invasion of my privacy a bit claustrophobic. Anyway, ever since I moved back home, my ex didn't take the break up well. For me, I moved on in 3 years, it didn't take long for me because for anything and everyone, I move on very fast. It's just in my personality and a trait of mine that I admire. For 3 years, this guy will occasionally call me through a private number or use his friend's phone to call me to beg for me back and plead like a Romeo on his knees for a Juliet. I told him each time, that I don't feel the same anymore, that it's been 3 years, that I even moved and didn't plan on moving back. I told him everything you can think of: swear words ( I barely swear but ever since his pleading, I started swearing more out of frustration), insults, everything.

 

But that's the truth - I don't feel the same anymore. Maybe it's the distance, maybe it's his horrible personality, I don't know. I don't really like his personality by the way as it's not good for long term and he isn't that much of a genuine guy. I have certain needs and he cannot meet them. That's how dating works to me. You have to find someone who can fill your needs and you can fill their's. Then you can think of the long-term too. I can look at his facebook pictures and just shrug it off thinking he's some stranger. I don't mean to sound like a stuck-up mean girl or a brash, wild cat. But to be honest, he's like the darkness and I am the light. The darkness loves the light because she's kind, caring and does only the good to people. For me, I don't like his dark traits. I find it suffocating, flesh-eating almost. He's very manipulative, lies A LOT. Worse than Jim Carrey in Liar, Liar.

 

Here we are in the year of 2014. Enter him, he's probably still the same. Very narrow-minded about being a good person. He believes no one should change him. Perhaps he wants to be the way he is and a girl should accept him. He thinks he will live in a Utopia, a Shangri-la filled with riches, love and romance flooding his life if he is the way he is. OK... sure. It might happen. But not with me. Never. Ever.

 

Despite this, I am thinking of giving him a chance so he can finally leave me the hell alone. I call this a trial "relationship", where i'll date this guy for about a year or so, but I will not get to the end. What is the end you ask?

The M word.

 

Marriage.

 

I don't care how he plans to do it, whether he moves to my city. I know i won't be moving to him, I just don't care to. I'm hoping this idea will scare him off and then he won't do it so he can finally move on. He hates doing BIG moves. I'm worried though this might make him fall in love even harder and then I'll find myself even more TRAPPED. Perhaps he can move for employment reasons but anyway, hopefully I will never contact him and I will never be friends with him either. I just don't care to be friends with him. I don't need male friends, I have enough friends and my future partner, to me, is already my best friend.

 

I don't plan to marry him even if we date for 1 year because I have a pretty crystal-clear idea of who I will marry and it's not him. I got 2 guys in my mind. I just want him off my back, he's worse than a crab. He will cling to you. Even if you chop his body off, his claws will some how linger, holding on for his dear life. Ugh.

 

Someone help.

Edited by swedish_berries
Posted

Let me get this straight, you want this guy to leave you alone so you're going to date him for a year? I don't really understand how that thought process will even work.

  • Like 3
Posted

Don't talk to him when he calls. Problem sorted!

  • Like 1
Posted

I'm going to make the prediction that the OP wants to build up her ego. Especially for the 2 guys that she has her eye on. She wants to let them see how much of a catch she is.

 

hahaha She already proved how much of and egomaniac she is by comparing her ex and herself to darkness and light.

Stroke your ego in some other way

  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted
Let me get this straight, you want this guy to leave you alone so you're going to date him for a year? I don't really understand how that thought process will even work.

 

He just won't leave me alone and I don't want this guy to remain in my future, in let's say 10+ years later. He's a psychopath. Maybe only one date to close things off? He's always dying for closure even though I gave it to him many times.

 

The only one with a big ego is my ex. He goes around telling people I was emotional and needy because he's unable to make anyone happy with his psychopathic self. He's cold, delusional and down right stupid. He did something 3 years ago to me which I cannot day but it would hurt any one of you posters right here. After he did it, he never cared

 

 

That is why I stopped caring. That is why I don't care. He showed nothing of an apology either. I don't think he's capable of even having a proper sane relationship. His ego feeds off drama and stomps like a child when he doesn't get a specific reaction from me.

 

Anyway maybe you guys are right. It's better to diminish any firm of contact and any possible chances for this infectious leech.

 

 

I can't wait for the day he finally moved the fck on.

Posted

lmao! This is one insane plan! If you want you and him to move on, go NO CONTACT. He will get the hint after a while. Though I do appreciate your rube goldberg machine-like idea for ending this pseudo relationship for its sheer craziness lol

  • Like 1
Posted

I don't see the point in stringing it out.

 

It sounds like you are very angry at him and he is still in love with you.

 

Dating him again isn't going to make it all go away, it would just elongate the whole situation for you both probably.

 

If you enjoy drama go for it.

 

Personally I would block him and have no contact whatsoever.

Even out and about it's possible to have very little or no contact with someone, even if you see them around regularly.

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