ClarkeKent Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 I have found this website very comforting. I have not posted a lot but found the writings of others helpful. My only posting was about my break up in November 2013. I spent about a year in rebound relationship but never fully getting over my previous ex. After the break up of my rebound relationship I decided I needed to try and sort my life out. This was very hard for all the normal reasons. I know I have come along way in those months and followed the rules of relationship break ups especially about learning to just be on my own. I find being on my own at times exhausting but as mentioned I have met new friends and am coping. Life does move on. I don't feel compelled to run to my bed and mull over every little detail however I still have moments when I ask the question will I ever feel truly happy? I still deep down believe the route of my happiness is in someone else and this makes me think of my previous ex so much........will she come back? I know this is stupid to think this way but I am still not at a point when I can think of myself with someone else? Will this change? I have tried to meet other people but nobody in my eyes seems to match up to my previous ex. She seems to have this inner hold......will this ever go away.....will it only go away when I meet the "right" person. I reread my writings and I think I just seem to hinge happiness on meeting someone else. Honestly I am trying to be ok on my own but I long to feel whole again......am I pinning everything on meeting someone?
flightplan Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 I still deep down believe the route of my happiness is in someone else ... You are going to be profoundly disappointed in your future if you continue to believe this. No one should be dependent on anyone for their happiness. That's a heavy burden to be laying on someone. You and you alone are responsible for your happiness in life. You were not born to live a life chained to the notion that someone else has the keys to your happiness. You were born to create a life you desire and makes you happy. If someone comes along that can round it out, so much the better. 2
Author ClarkeKent Posted March 12, 2014 Author Posted March 12, 2014 Yes I completely agree with you. I am a sensible person or so I think. I just cannot shift this feeling. Its almost likw at times I look around me and everyone is in a relationship and I feel like I am the saddo. I no its not right to think this way but its hard to snap out of. I think I need to just keep reminding myself that things have got better especially after the dark days of the end of the relationship. It just feels like there is something missing that is all.
somecamel Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 I have found this website very comforting. I have not posted a lot but found the writings of others helpful. My only posting was about my break up in November 2013. I spent about a year in rebound relationship but never fully getting over my previous ex. How quick did you jump into this rebound relationship? Did you actively seek someone else to fill the void left by the ex? After the break up of my rebound relationship I decided I needed to try and sort my life out. This was very hard for all the normal reasons. I know I have come along way in those months and followed the rules of relationship break ups especially about learning to just be on my own. I find being on my own at times exhausting but as mentioned I have met new friends and am coping. Life does move on. I don't feel compelled to run to my bed and mull over every little detail however I still have moments when I ask the question will I ever feel truly happy? I still deep down believe the route of my happiness is in someone else and this makes me think of my previous ex so much........will she come back? I know this is stupid to think this way but I am still not at a point when I can think of myself with someone else? Will this change? I have tried to meet other people but nobody in my eyes seems to match up to my previous ex. She seems to have this inner hold......will this ever go away.....will it only go away when I meet the "right" person. She's still up on your pedestal, how much contact do you have with your first ex? I reread my writings and I think I just seem to hinge happiness on meeting someone else. Honestly I am trying to be ok on my own but I long to feel whole again......am I pinning everything on meeting someone? We're human, we crave attention from others, we crave acceptance. I really do feel for you, but I don't think you gave yourself enough time to recover before you jumped into your rebound relationship. I'm sure the rebound relationship masked a lot of the hurt you were still feeling from the break up, I may be wrong and none of us can ever truly understand what each and every one of us is/has gone through. Continue to post, sharing all of our experiences can and will help others and will help you when you accept what will be will be. 1
mtnbiker3000 Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 I think many of us, myself included, fall into this pattern. The reasons for this could be many and stem from various periods of your life... At least you have recognized this and can now begin to work through it, as am I 1
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