STM206 Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 My ex of 4 years broke up with me 2 months ago. It's been a whirlwind. I discovered via a friend that he packed up and moved to another state... And now is possibly living with his ex. He had always remained friends with his ex and at first I always felt a little off about it but chose to trust him on it because seemingly so, we had a great relationship. Any advice on this? Is this a rebound? I mean 2 months after a 4 year relationship and already deciding to move to where his ex lives... It just doesn't make any sense. It's like he's reaching for another vine, but makes me ponder... Is it considered a vine if you move across the country to their state?
Author STM206 Posted March 12, 2014 Author Posted March 12, 2014 I guess I assumed that a rebound is usually considered a rebound if it's with someone new... But an ex? 1
stillafool Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 No it sounds like he was never really over his ex and now that he is free they are going to get back together. If it were a new person I might think it is a rebound but with their history not so much. 1
Author STM206 Posted March 12, 2014 Author Posted March 12, 2014 I see what you're saying but I know about their history and they spent a lot of it long distance and weren't together for super long . It just doesn't add up. Like we spent 4 years creating a future, we always spent time together and I know our connection was deep and real. Whenever they did talk which wasn't often... It was more along the lines of "hey how's it going?" never felt like he was latching onto his ex again... It just seems like it could be somewhat of a rebound or a "we never had the chance to blossom together, let's try again". Like it didn't seem like there was a deep emotional history with them but again... I could be wrong. Thanks for your reply. I see why no contact is so important lol, it's all bull****.
love1336x Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 It all depends how long they knew eachother, and who dumped who? If he moved to ANOTHER STATE to be with her... I can't see it being a rebound... I mean, to change your job, not be near your family or friends... if you are going to moved going to be for a strong reason. Then again if he doesn't like to be lonely, and wants a warm body in bed at night then maybe it could be rebound, but most likey not...
Author STM206 Posted March 12, 2014 Author Posted March 12, 2014 His family actually lives a few hours away from him. I guess there's no answers that I'll actually get from all of this... Only time will tell. It just seems like a gut feeling that this isn't because they want to be together, but like you said that it's a comfort thing for him. I mean it's one thing if he talked about his ex often before but it was so nonchalant and never seemed like it was on his radar, like he really was invested in us... So it's somewhat surprising but then again I could totally be wrong. Thanks.
Author STM206 Posted March 12, 2014 Author Posted March 12, 2014 They broke up due to long distance from what I know.
darkmoon Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 he might see a rent-free lifestyle, it wouldn't surprise me 1
Author STM206 Posted March 12, 2014 Author Posted March 12, 2014 Plus he has a history if packing up and moving to different states. Like he has no solid grounding with living close to his family or any of that, he's always been an "explorer" kind of guy... Well I guess I just answered my own question.
RDawg Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 Sorry to hear this OP. On the positive side it's nice to know that second chances do happen!
Author STM206 Posted March 13, 2014 Author Posted March 13, 2014 That's one way of looking at it lol. I'm proud of myself, I know many are going to say that breaking NC is good but I sent him a short message letting him know that I knew. It wasn't harsh and it was just along the lines of me being disappointed in him for lying about "trying to figure things out" when he knew all along. Classless person and hope that one day he gets a reality check.
mammasita Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 My ex is back with his ex before me. **** happens. It bothers me, but she can have his ass. He dumped her, he dumped me.....you should feel the same way. Bullet dodged.
Author STM206 Posted March 14, 2014 Author Posted March 14, 2014 I don't know if it's the closure I wanted but at least I know it wasn't something I did or didn't do. He basically cheated (if it was physical or not I'll never know) but it was HIS deceiving behavior this caused the break up. He didn't have the balls to tell me, he snuck his way out leaving me with the guilt of "something I should've done". It still hurts but at least there's something concrete and somewhat relieving in a sense. I guess it's also nice to know that he isn't moving forward per sey, he's moving back. It is upsetting but what can you do? Like you said, let them have each other and I'm pretty confident his ex will face the same fate one day. History repeats itself.
Author STM206 Posted March 14, 2014 Author Posted March 14, 2014 Lol! And he made his relationship official on facebook. Wow! Liar much? Just a little over 2 months and he's already commuted to his ex. I guess the "I'm figuring things out" line was complete bull****.
faithfully Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 Lol! And he made his relationship official on facebook. Wow! Liar much? Just a little over 2 months and he's already commuted to his ex. I guess the "I'm figuring things out" line was complete bull****. I can relate and understand everything you've said snd how you feel coz ive been in your shoes, maybe there now. Ex will tell you anything just to try ease their guilt like what he told you- "tryna find myself right now, need to get my act together" but 99% of the times its bullcrap with that statement. How dyou know hes not been talking to her before you guys broke up- i know my ex was talking to his ex before we broke up and a month or 2 got with her. Yeahh you are right in saying people move forwards not backwards and people like that will never learn. Just be happy you no longer have to put up with his ****. Just go NC and dont worry about him. I know easier said than done but you be ok
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