lyeex Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 My ex broke up with me in november 2013 after being together for almost 4 years. It was a horrible relationship. He treated me like garbage and emotionally abused me. He was my first relationship and I never want to go back to that. In January, I started seeing someone new and I am still with him. I have no plans to leave him, he makes me very happy and treats me how I've always wanted to be treated by a man. When my ex found out, he cried, begged, pleaded to have me back, promising to change, saying he loves me and that he wanted to marry me and have children (all of which he never wanted with me during our relationship). I was confused for a while on what to do, but ended up sticking with my new guy and am happy i did. My ex is currently dating his ex girlfriend from when he was 16 (he's now 25). They always remained friends. She didn't want to be with him all those years. I always had a gut instinct that he had feelings for her and that if given the chance, he'd run back to her. It feels like a slap in the face that he is now seeing her after he told me for years that she would never be more than a friend again. I feel like had he started dating someone besides her, i wouldn't care. I was always jealous and felt insecure by their friendship and in a way this just proves me right. Is this just my ego hurting? I feel jealous over her but i still wouldn't take him back. I feel like he's going to treat her like gold and be the man i wanted him to be with me because he's wanted to be with her so long and has a strong friendship with her. Whats wrong with me?
LifeGoesOnMan Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 My ex broke up with me in november 2013 after being together for almost 4 years. It was a horrible relationship. He treated me like garbage and emotionally abused me. He was my first relationship and I never want to go back to that. In January, I started seeing someone new and I am still with him. I have no plans to leave him, he makes me very happy and treats me how I've always wanted to be treated by a man. When my ex found out, he cried, begged, pleaded to have me back, promising to change, saying he loves me and that he wanted to marry me and have children (all of which he never wanted with me during our relationship). I was confused for a while on what to do, but ended up sticking with my new guy and am happy i did. My ex is currently dating his ex girlfriend from when he was 16 (he's now 25). They always remained friends. She didn't want to be with him all those years. I always had a gut instinct that he had feelings for her and that if given the chance, he'd run back to her. It feels like a slap in the face that he is now seeing her after he told me for years that she would never be more than a friend again. I feel like had he started dating someone besides her, i wouldn't care. I was always jealous and felt insecure by their friendship and in a way this just proves me right. Is this just my ego hurting? I feel jealous over her but i still wouldn't take him back. I feel like he's going to treat her like gold and be the man i wanted him to be with me because he's wanted to be with her so long and has a strong friendship with her. Whats wrong with me? there is nothing wrong with you, its only natural to feel that way, seeing someone you loved at one point be with someone else, that's how he felt when he saw you with someone else, however, i would leave it alone if you are happy with your current dude. no reason to start drama over nothing. its over between you two, right? 1
movingbackwards Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 This happened to me as well. You will get over it, I promise! The first time you find out is a little cold. My ex treated me horribly, was emotionally abusive, and had awful anger issues. She started seeing someone the day we broke (obvious intentions) after a 5 year relationship. I told myself over and over that she was going to be a new woman, lacking all of the things I disliked about her. I was so dead wrong. Here we are 8 months post breakup and she's told me so many stories and I've seen first hand accounts of her being the exact same way. People generally don't change. In the honeymoon phase of their relationship, he may be a gentlemen, but he will slowly turn back into the person he was and has always been. There is nothing wrong with you. Just give it time, stay as far away as possible and focus on your new man! After all he's right in front of you! 1
Author lyeex Posted March 12, 2014 Author Posted March 12, 2014 there is nothing wrong with you, its only natural to feel that way, seeing someone you loved at one point be with someone else, that's how he felt when he saw you with someone else, however, i would leave it alone if you are happy with your current dude. no reason to start drama over nothing. its over between you two, right? Yes, it is over between us and has been since the end of January. I was still seeing him once in a while because I was confused (he was treating me like gold after years of being an *******) but i cut him off and kept seeing my new boyfriend. 1
Hello_is_it_me Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 Out of sight, out of mind! Try to set those two aside and get along with your life. They don't matter any more. Focus on the current bf and the future! 1
organizedchaos Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 Yes, it is over between us and has been since the end of January. I was still seeing him once in a while because I was confused (he was treating me like gold after years of being an *******) but i cut him off and kept seeing my new boyfriend. So then why do you know so much about what he's doing or who he's seeing now? 1
jphcbpa Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 He treated me like garbage and emotionally abused me sounds like you should feel sorry for her. surely he has not changed. 1
Author lyeex Posted March 12, 2014 Author Posted March 12, 2014 So then why do you know so much about what he's doing or who he's seeing now? He texted me just to tell me that he was seeing her. Guess he wanted to rub it in my face?
organizedchaos Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 He texted me just to tell me that he was seeing her. Guess he wanted to rub it in my face? Oy. Douche. 1
Hello_is_it_me Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 He texted me just to tell me that he was seeing her. Guess he wanted to rub it in my face? This isn't someone you would even want to keep in your friends-circle. Who wants to associate with cruel people? My advice is to hand write a list of all the douchey things he's been doing lately. Keep it by your bedside and read it before you go to sleep and when you wake up. Forget this guy. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 It's only a matter of time before he turns on her, too. He won't treat her like gold. Hell, I'd even go so far to say he's with her partly just to make you jealous. Why the heck else would he text you to tell you that? I hope you didn't reply to him. Do you have any contact with him now? 1
amaysngrace Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 My exH did the same thing...called me to tell me that he met "the love of his life" as he put it. He said he didn't want me to hear it from somebody else. I said the first words that came into my head and told him "I feel sorry for her" It hit me in the gut, I'm not gonna lie, but then I thought about it that day and realized if he was at my door I wouldn't want him anyway. So it was a case of I-don't-want-him-you-can't-have-him and I continued living my life. 1
Stay Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 Just give it time, I never jump to conclusions saying a relationship is great or the best until about 6 months to a year. It's always fun and happy in the beginning but the real part doesn't sink in until later. 2
Author lyeex Posted March 13, 2014 Author Posted March 13, 2014 My exH did the same thing...called me to tell me that he met "the love of his life" as he put it. He said he didn't want me to hear it from somebody else. He said the same thing. I asked why he had to tell me this and he said "you'd find out eventually from someone else". He just wanted to make me jealous. After he told me about her, he still tried to get back for a day (guess it was part of his plan) but saw that I wasn't budging. Now we have no contact at all and he's "happy" with his new girl. I'm getting over the shock and feel much better now. 1
amaysngrace Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 He said the same thing. I asked why he had to tell me this and he said "you'd find out eventually from someone else". He just wanted to make me jealous. After he told me about her, he still tried to get back for a day (guess it was part of his plan) but saw that I wasn't budging. Now we have no contact at all and he's "happy" with his new girl. I'm getting over the shock and feel much better now. Isn't that crazy? You'd think if he was sooo happy with his new GF you'd be the last person he'd be thinking of or wanting to be with. I'm glad you're moving on.
gaius Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 I don't think he just wanted to make you jealous. He wanted to make you jealous in order to get you back. When I was in the last legs of one relationship I started an OLD account and started showing her all the numbers and messages I was getting. It was all about her interest though. He wouldn't have bothered trying to get back with you if she was the one he really wanted. It was you. Probably still is too. 1
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