GoreSP Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 Well she already knows ... I've told her I have never had a girlfriend. She still seems into me, but... I guess what I'm trying to ask is: will me being more sexually experienced be better for her? Should I pretend to have had 5 one night stands? Or is that too unbelievable now that I have admitted never having had a girlfriend? Do not pretend anything. If you genuinely like this woman and she genuinely likes you, you do not want to start this relationship on a lie. Besides, all women are different so having experience isn't necessarily going to help with a new partner. Just don't be centered around your own pleasure and DON'T be afraid to ask her if what you are doing is ok. Also, keep in mind the biggest sexual organ is the brain. Most of the time, when a woman can't climax, it's not her partner's fault. 3
Author Medium.Lumo Posted March 15, 2014 Author Posted March 15, 2014 Thanks for your input Very interesting. Do not pretend anything. If you genuinely like this woman and she genuinely likes you, you do not want to start this relationship on a lie. Besides, all women are different so having experience isn't necessarily going to help with a new partner. Just don't be centered around your own pleasure and DON'T be afraid to ask her if what you are doing is ok. Also, keep in mind the biggest sexual organ is the brain. Most of the time, when a woman can't climax, it's not her partner's fault. 1
Imajerk17 Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 (edited) 5? Pfft. Your friend is an amateur. If you're gonna lie then LIE. NONE of this half ass BS. 105! That should be your number. Nah 107. Prime numbers are just more believable. 103 if youre just a more modest guy. Hey 101works too! Seriously joke around when she asks. I don't advocate lying but I don't think you are required to give your sexual history to someone until its clear you both like each other. As long as youre clean and have no kids that she doesn't know about that is. If women "shouldn't" be required to disclose their number then why should you. Edited March 15, 2014 by Imajerk17 1
mario_C Posted March 17, 2014 Posted March 17, 2014 (edited) Lots of very interesting replies here. When I lost my virginity, twice*, neither woman knew anything about my sexual (lack of) history. It turned out to be great sex, hopefully mutually amazing, and no regrets. So, all I can say is, don't worry so much about it. If she wants to sleep with you, you've already won a major battle at this stage of your life. You'll have plenty to worry about later. *no, it wasn't like that I wish...The very first woman I slept with there was no penetration (she gave me a t!tj0b) so the second woman I slept with was my real first time, in a sense. Edited March 17, 2014 by mario_C well, don't want to be too positive! 1
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 17, 2014 Posted March 17, 2014 There is a girl I think may like me. If the relationship successfully starts, I am worried about the fact that I'm a virgin. A friend said I should not admit it because it puts girls off. He said I should just say I have been with 5 girls if asked, because she won't want to be my first. It might be too late for this as I habe already told her I have not had a girlfriend before. Should I pretend anyway and claim I have had 5 ONSes, or say that I lied about not having a gf before? Are women really put off by virgins? My advice is to not speak of sexual history. It's unimportant to any current relationship you are pursuing. You're not applying for a car loan or getting a job requiring a security clearance so your past is none of her business. And her past is none of yours. So just leave it there... 1
Author Medium.Lumo Posted March 17, 2014 Author Posted March 17, 2014 My advice is to not speak of sexual history. It's unimportant to any current relationship you are pursuing. You're not applying for a car loan or getting a job requiring a security clearance so your past is none of her business. And her past is none of yours. So just leave it there... You're probably right. Although we have been friends since last year and already know each other's history. So she already knows I have never had a girlfriend (before her). I guess my main point in starting this thread was to find out if women are put off by inexperienced guys as one of my friends believes. I don't really want to ask any of my female friends or my girlfriend this question as it may be quite embarrassing.
janedoe67 Posted March 17, 2014 Posted March 17, 2014 A girl who cares about YOU will not be interested in numbers. If she has gotten to know YOU, and a number or lack thereof in the past suddenly changes that....she ain't good enough for ya. 1
GoreSP Posted March 17, 2014 Posted March 17, 2014 A girl who cares about YOU will not be interested in numbers. If she has gotten to know YOU, and a number or lack thereof in the past suddenly changes that....she ain't good enough for ya. Of course this only works when said number is low...yaydoublestandards!
Author Medium.Lumo Posted March 17, 2014 Author Posted March 17, 2014 Of course this only works when said number is low...yaydoublestandards! If I'm understanding you correctly, women prefer lower numbers in your opinion? That's interesting, because I had imagined from what I was told by my friend that they'd feel most comfortable with an "average" number like 5 to 10, rather than a higher number (signaling a womaniser) or lower number or nonexistent number (signaling something wrong with him)
GoreSP Posted March 17, 2014 Posted March 17, 2014 If I'm understanding you correctly, women prefer lower numbers in your opinion? That's interesting, because I had imagined from what I was told by my friend that they'd feel most comfortable with an "average" number like 5 to 10, rather than a higher number (signaling a womaniser) or lower number or nonexistent number (signaling something wrong with him) Oh no - that's not what I'm saying. It's just that there has been some pretty heated discussions lately about people who have higher numbers of partners. There are people who claim that people have the right to choosing a partner who have a number of partner that works with their 'values' - they are also arguing that one cannot use the expression 'the past is the past' because it's like forcing them to go against their values. Janedoe was one of those people. So basically, I cannot tell a potential partner that if he really liked me, he wouldn't care about a number because my number is somewhat high ( that really depends on who you are talking to but that's for another thread...) Yet, on here janedoe is saying here that if a girl really cared about you she wouldn't care about the number of people you slept with - or didn't. I'm just calling her out on her double standards. I will agree with her though - if a girl really cares about you, she won't care that you are a virgin. I just happen to think this should go both ways. Did you end up telling her after all?
Author Medium.Lumo Posted March 17, 2014 Author Posted March 17, 2014 Yes.. I told her I hadn't had a girlfriend before and she seemed surprised but didn't react badly at all. I am just worried I am not going to perform well due to lack of experience Oh no - that's not what I'm saying. It's just that there has been some pretty heated discussions lately about people who have higher numbers of partners. There are people who claim that people have the right to choosing a partner who have a number of partner that works with their 'values' - they are also arguing that one cannot use the expression 'the past is the past' because it's like forcing them to go against their values. Janedoe was one of those people. So basically, I cannot tell a potential partner that if he really liked me, he wouldn't care about a number because my number is somewhat high ( that really depends on who you are talking to but that's for another thread...) Yet, on here janedoe is saying here that if a girl really cared about you she wouldn't care about the number of people you slept with - or didn't. I'm just calling her out on her double standards. I will agree with her though - if a girl really cares about you, she won't care that you are a virgin. I just happen to think this should go both ways. Did you end up telling her after all?
GoreSP Posted March 17, 2014 Posted March 17, 2014 Yes.. I told her I hadn't had a girlfriend before and she seemed surprised but didn't react badly at all. I am just worried I am not going to perform well due to lack of experience Meh - first times with a new partner is generally at least a littl awkward - even for those who have experience. She is probably just as stressed out about it as you are. Just don't make a big federal case out of it. I'm sure it'll go well. 1
bubbaganoosh Posted March 17, 2014 Posted March 17, 2014 Look at it from this point of view. Tell her you've been with a half dozen women when in fact you haven't been with one. After you have sex with her the first time and she's laying there thinking that if you have all this experience, then why didn't it show up while you were with her. Next thing you know, she thinks that your lousy in bed. Look if you a virgin, then your a virgin. We all have to start at the beginning so don't lie to her. When I was in my late 40's, I was with a woman one night and we slept together. Now while she's under the blankets, she slips off her underwear and when I pulled the blanket off her, I saw that she had shaved her privates. I never saw that before. All the women I had been with kept their hair and I was really fascinated seeing that and kept on staring at it until she asked what I was doing and I blurted out that I never saw a bald headed one of those (my words) and the woman almost passed out from laughing. What happened was that it turned out to be a great evening because I saw something that was new to me and she knew it made me happy which made her happy knowing it pleased me. All in all a good night so don't lie and be honest. Don't try to be someone that your not. I comes out later and then it's too late. 1
Author Medium.Lumo Posted March 18, 2014 Author Posted March 18, 2014 Thanks for the advice guys I'm going to disregard my friend's advice and not make up a story about having been with 5 girls. I've already told her I haven't had a girlfriend before and i'm going to leave it at that. I don't think she really has any issue with it. I'm just a bit insecure about it. 2
Author Medium.Lumo Posted March 18, 2014 Author Posted March 18, 2014 depends on age 20-25 girls find it a little weird 25-30 most girls will run the other way over 30 most girls will be floored and embarrassed and then run away. lie if 25 and up Run the other way? Seriously? Why?
Author Medium.Lumo Posted March 18, 2014 Author Posted March 18, 2014 girls despise virgins That's insane. Why do you think that is? I guess I got off lightly because my gf doesn't seem too worried about it.
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