Medium.Lumo Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 There is a girl I think may like me. If the relationship successfully starts, I am worried about the fact that I'm a virgin. A friend said I should not admit it because it puts girls off. He said I should just say I have been with 5 girls if asked, because she won't want to be my first. It might be too late for this as I habe already told her I have not had a girlfriend before. Should I pretend anyway and claim I have had 5 ONSes, or say that I lied about not having a gf before? Are women really put off by virgins?
Buck Turgidson Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 Yes! Lies and untruthfulness are the perfect basis for a relationship that will stand the test of time! 4
regine_phalange Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 There is a girl I think may like me. If the relationship successfully starts, I am worried about the fact that I'm a virgin. A friend said I should not admit it because it puts girls off. He said I should just say I have been with 5 girls if asked, because she won't want to be my first. It might be too late for this as I habe already told her I have not had a girlfriend before. Should I pretend anyway and claim I have had 5 ONSes, or say that I lied about not having a gf before? Are women really put off by virgins? Don't make a bit deal out of it. If she asks tell the truth. If she doesn't, don't say anything. Whatever happens, keep your cool, like it's something natural (it is, in fact). 4
dragon_fly_7 Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 Are women really put off by virgins? No, actually is the other way for me. I'm put off by men with too much ONS or FWB history. I don't like promiscuous men and this because I've been with 1 bf in my life and believed sex should be reserved for meaningful long-term relationships. 5
GravityMan Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 Don't make a bit deal out of it. If she asks tell the truth. If she doesn't, don't say anything. Whatever happens, keep your cool, like it's something natural (it is, in fact). This. OP, virginity is one of those things that doesn't have to be an issue unless you make it one. 5
d0nnivain Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 When you are young, most people will assume that you have not had much experience. Do NOT lie. Try not to discuss numbers, ever. High or low, they make people crazy. Your friend who said to just say 5 is giving you terrible advice. Don't listen to him & be cautious when he gives you advice on other topics too. Don't lead with the info that you are a virgin but if asked you don't have to shy away from it either. 1
Author Medium.Lumo Posted March 12, 2014 Author Posted March 12, 2014 When you are young, most people will assume that you have not had much experience. Do NOT lie. Try not to discuss numbers, ever. High or low, they make people crazy. Your friend who said to just say 5 is giving you terrible advice. Don't listen to him & be cautious when he gives you advice on other topics too. Don't lead with the info that you are a virgin but if asked you don't have to shy away from it either. Thanks for the reply. I'll be cautious but it's difficult to argue with a guy who has had 5 gfs with one being a model.
Author Medium.Lumo Posted March 12, 2014 Author Posted March 12, 2014 This. OP, virginity is one of those things that doesn't have to be an issue unless you make it one. Thanks regine and gravity. You're probably right, but I'm probably getting ahead of myself anyway. She might just be playing with me anyway ( see my other thread )
Targetlock Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 you're not the only one mate also have this problem. just make when it happens, its with the right person and also be truthful and honest if asked any good relationship is based on truth.
Author Medium.Lumo Posted March 14, 2014 Author Posted March 14, 2014 you're not the only one mate also have this problem. just make when it happens, its with the right person and also be truthful and honest if asked any good relationship is based on truth. Sorry to hear it, man. You say be honest - have you ever had doubts about that? Do you think wonen woukd appreciate the honesty or would they be put off by your inexperience? My friend told me to just say 5 - would you do this? If not, why not? If yes, would you wait to be asked or pre empt it?
Author Medium.Lumo Posted March 14, 2014 Author Posted March 14, 2014 Let me give you an example. What you really had feelings for someone and you got to the stage where you were about to sleep together. Then she found out you were a virgin and ended the relationship. If you knew by saying you had been with 5 girls and she would be the 6th you could have avoided that, would you do it?
Heraclius Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 If a girl doesn't want to be in a committed relationship with someone because they are a virgin...then said girl is a waste of time and very shallow. Next. 1
Author Medium.Lumo Posted March 14, 2014 Author Posted March 14, 2014 If a girl doesn't want to be in a committed relationship with someone because they are a virgin...then said girl is a waste of time and very shallow. Next. What if 80% of girls feel that way? That's a lot of potential matches you'd be cutting out.
Heraclius Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 If 80% of girls wanted to jump off of a cliff, then I wouldn't join them. My point still stands: if someone doesn't want a relationship because of the status of the potential partner's virginity, than that is a pathetic reason to skip out on a relationship. Relationships are a bit more than just sex. 1
David87 Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 Don't lie to the girl, be honest and see what happens. You already put a lot of pressure on this thing and you might find yourself in a even worse situation( you won't be able to get it up )So relax and always be honest. 1
AntiSocal Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 First of all ignore all prior posts in this thread. These people are thinking in terms of LTR. If you are young (under 25) you need to be playing the game not settling down. Most girls who are 25 or under aren't ready to settle down. And they tend to see men that ask for relationships before sex as weak and undesirable. They all want the alpha male whose boning every girl on campus. Not the lover boy whose gonna write them poems. So first thing you gotta do in this situation is really gauge the girls personality. Is she a popular girl? A party girl? Has she had a lot of relationships that you know of? Is she even looking for a relationship or just trying to play the field? Or is she a quiet girl? Kind of girl who just wants one boyfriend? Kind of girl who doesn't party a lot and is more intellectually minded? If she is the former (party girl) you most likely need to just lie. In fact don't even bring up relationships with her just go straight for the sex. Thats what party girls want and expect. And even if she says no you at least trying for the sex kinda asserts your position as a guy who can get laid. If she is the latter (shy intellectual) then i doubt she'll care that you are a virgin. And if you are both looking for a long term relationship its best to just be honest with her from the start. Your appearance/aura also plays a big part in the answer to this question. If you come across as really ugly/nerdy girls will think you are weird for being a virgin and won't want to date you. If you come across as being hunky and popular girls will assume that your a virgin by choice and will jump at the chance to take it from you. I lied about being a virgin once (said i was when i wasn't) worked in my favor. Girl gave me her virginity because she thought she was taking mine. 1
dragon_fly_7 Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 (edited) First of all ignore all prior posts in this thread. These people are thinking in terms of LTR. If you are young (under 25) you need to be playing the game not settling down.One of the major reasons I just want to be single and be with no one if everything is only about random sex and not find someone with my same values towards sex. Last thing I need is waste even 1 minute of my time with a user or pump and dumper. Edited March 14, 2014 by dragon_fly_7
Author Medium.Lumo Posted March 14, 2014 Author Posted March 14, 2014 First of all ignore all prior posts in this thread. These people are thinking in terms of LTR. If you are young (under 25) you need to be playing the game not settling down. I'm 22, she's 20. I really don't know how to play the game ... Most girls who are 25 or under aren't ready to settle down. And they tend to see men that ask for relationships before sex as weak and undesirable. They all want the alpha male whose boning every girl on campus. Not the lover boy whose gonna write them poems. I'm not the poem guy or the alpha male, although I don't take crap from other guys, I have never really been close to boning. I'm not painfully shy or nerdy, but I am quite shy when it comes to girls. Not shy enough to not have tons of female friends, but I haven't made a move on any of them. So first thing you gotta do in this situation is really gauge the girls personality. Is she a popular girl? A party girl? Has she had a lot of relationships that you know of? Is she even looking for a relationship or just trying to play the field? She's relatively popular. We both go to parties, pubs, clubs etc. She has had 4 previous relationships, so she's a lot more experienced. This is one of the things I'm worried about? How will I measure up to these other guys? Will I be able to last? Will I be awkward? Will she be disappointed by my lack of skills and experience? Or is she a quiet girl? Kind of girl who just wants one boyfriend? Kind of girl who doesn't party a lot and is more intellectually minded? If she is the former (party girl) you most likely need to just lie. In fact don't even bring up relationships with her just go straight for the sex. Thats what party girls want and expect. And even if she says no you at least trying for the sex kinda asserts your position as a guy who can get laid. If she is the latter (shy intellectual) then i doubt she'll care that you are a virgin. And if you are both looking for a long term relationship its best to just be honest with her from the start. [\QUOTE] She's just sweet and beautiful man. Definitely a very nice personality. Your appearance/aura also plays a big part in the answer to this question. If you come across as really ugly/nerdy girls will think you are weird for being a virgin and won't want to date you. If you come across as being hunky and popular girls will assume that your a virgin by choice and will jump at the chance to take it from you. I lied about being a virgin once (said i was when i wasn't) worked in my favor. Girl gave me her virginity because she thought she was taking mine. I'm pretty well built. Not as toned as I used to be in high school when I played a lot of sports but still not bad. 6'3. Dark hair, blue eyes. I'm working on getting the tone back but work and social life don't leave a lot of time for exercise these days. Until then I can't really say I'm hunky. Lol. My friend pretty much insisted I lie and say I've slept with girls, because she will be weirded out and won't want to be a guy's first... it's interesting that you had a different experience with a girl.
Author Medium.Lumo Posted March 14, 2014 Author Posted March 14, 2014 One of the major reasons I just want to be single and be with no one if everything is only about random sex and not find someone with my same values towards sex. Last thing I need is waste even 1 minute of my time with a user or pump and dumper. I definitely don't want to pump and dump this girl. I am thinking of her 24 7 and would love to be in an LTR. It seems she is interested as well (see my previous threads) but I'm worried she will be put off by the fact that I am a virgin. I know everyone is different but how do you think the average girl would react to an inexperienced guy?
KungFuJoe Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 5? Pfft. Your friend is an amateur. If you're gonna lie then LIE. NONE of this half ass BS. 105! That should be your number.
Author Medium.Lumo Posted March 14, 2014 Author Posted March 14, 2014 5? Pfft. Your friend is an amateur. If you're gonna lie then LIE. NONE of this half ass BS. 105! That should be your number. Well I can't speak for him, and I'll ask next time I see him, but my guess is that the lie, if one is necessary, should be proportional to your actual experience. So in my case the true number is 0, but I say 5. If it was really 5, I could say 15. If it was really 25, maybe you could say 105 if that would get you further. Maybe as many posters here have said lying about it is a bad idea. Is there anh way to tell a guy is a virgin? If so she'd know I lied.
GoreSP Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 Lying isn't a good idea. She would be an idiot to pass a potentially good match just because he hasn't had sex. Also, I may not be speaking for the majority of women here, but I find the idea of sleeping with a man with less experience really exciting... Do you really want to be with someone so shallow anyways?
janedoe67 Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 Here's the central question: Does your character (as in honesty) depend on whether it's convenient or will get you what your want, or do you believe in being honest as a practice? If you are someone of honest character, you'll be honest. If you think lying is fine as long as it gets you what you want, you have bigger problems than virginity. 2
Author Medium.Lumo Posted March 14, 2014 Author Posted March 14, 2014 Lying isn't a good idea. She would be an idiot to pass a potentially good match just because he hasn't had sex. Also, I may not be speaking for the majority of women here, but I find the idea of sleeping with a man with less experience really exciting... Do you really want to be with someone so shallow anyways? Well she already knows ... I've told her I have never had a girlfriend. She still seems into me, but... I guess what I'm trying to ask is: will me being more sexually experienced be better for her? Should I pretend to have had 5 one night stands? Or is that too unbelievable now that I have admitted never having had a girlfriend?
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