travelbug1996 Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 If the dumper has tried time and time again to resolve issues with the dumpee and dumpee refuses to compromise, problem solve or negotiate, a breakup is in order. So to all the dumpees that got dumped due to their own fault, let it go. All others, NC. 6
David87 Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 Yep, sometimes the dumpees to blame, no question about it. 4
BradJacobs Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 Agreed. However I like to do NC even as a dumper. Why feed their need to try to explain away why they didn't do x, y and z? 2
somedude81 Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 If the dumper has tried time and time again to resolve issues with the dumpee and dumpee refuses to compromise, problem solve or negotiate, a breakup is in order. So to all the dumpees that got dumped due to their own fault, let it go. All others, NC. So basically; If it's your fault that you get dumped and you know it, go NC. If it wasn't your fault, go NC. 1
YouUsedtobemelclark Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 I agree it should be NC at first. IMO once you are level headed and took time finding yourself the dumpee if in the wrong should apologize sincerely to the dumper not because they want to get them back, but because they hurt someone they loved and truly regret it. 1
Never Again Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 Considering that most dumpees blame themselves even when they aren't at fault or weren't given the chance to correct their behavior, and that the only option is NC no matter what, I'm not sure I see the point of this thread. This thread is going to trigger negative feelings in a lot of dumpees who are already depressed and over-analyzing their behavior. It's not going to help them "let it go". There's a reason most people don't get into it and just say "No matter what happened, let go and go NC" - anything else gets people doing mental gymnastics over nothing. 4
dragon_fly_7 Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 Yes, my ex bf deserved it (he said it himself too). I don't regret being the dumper 1
Lifegoezon Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 Considering that most dumpees blame themselves even when they aren't at fault or weren't given the chance to correct their behavior, and that the only option is NC no matter what, I'm not sure I see the point of this thread. This thread is going to trigger negative feelings in a lot of dumpees who are already depressed and over-analyzing their behavior. It's not going to help them "let it go". There's a reason most people don't get into it and just say "No matter what happened, let go and go NC" - anything else gets people doing mental gymnastics over nothing. Can't agree entirely. Although the OP may have over simplified things I agree that not all dumpees are innocent parties. I'm the dumper. I caught him cheating and lying. He deserved to be dumped. My ex should not came here looking for sympathy for his status as a dumpee. Of course, he probably isn't bothered and in fact it's me who needs supporting through the betrayal, grief and adjustment to the end of the relationship. Sometimes the dumper is the injured party. I think that's all the OP is saying. 1
Author travelbug1996 Posted March 12, 2014 Author Posted March 12, 2014 So basically; If it's your fault that you get dumped and you know it, go NC. If it wasn't your fault, go NC. I just see so many people on this forum confused about dumping someone and going NC. If you dumped their arse for a good reason, no need to feel bad about going NC at all.
Author travelbug1996 Posted March 12, 2014 Author Posted March 12, 2014 Can't agree entirely. Although the OP may have over simplified things I agree that not all dumpees are innocent parties. I'm the dumper. I caught him cheating and lying. He deserved to be dumped. My ex should not came here looking for sympathy for his status as a dumpee. Of course, he probably isn't bothered and in fact it's me who needs supporting through the betrayal, grief and adjustment to the end of the relationship. Sometimes the dumper is the injured party. I think that's all the OP is saying. ^^^^^What Lifegoezon said
somedude81 Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 I just see so many people on this forum confused about dumping someone and going NC. If you dumped their arse for a good reason, no need to feel bad about going NC at all. This thread is for dumpees right? You basically said that if you got dumped and you know why and that you deserved it, then go NC. You also said that all others, (meaning those who know why and don't think they deserved it, plus those who don't know why they got dumped) should also go NC. In other words, if you get dumped, go NC.
pickflicker Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 This thread is for dumpees right? You basically said that if you got dumped and you know why and that you deserved it, then go NC. You also said that all others, (meaning those who know why and don't think they deserved it, plus those who don't know why they got dumped) should also go NC. In other words, if you get dumped, go NC. The solution for both dumpers and dumpees is NC. NC means that the dumper is not projecting false hope. NC means that the dumpee stops touching the hot stove.
Author travelbug1996 Posted March 13, 2014 Author Posted March 13, 2014 This post is for dumpers who question their decisions to end a r.
somedude81 Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 This post is for dumpers who question their decisions to end a r. So to all the dumpees that got dumped due to their own fault, let it go. It is? Sorry, my mistake.
Heroeric Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 I gotta agree with one of the first few posts, all the people on this site are on here because they hurt really bad and need support because they just got dumped... Their gonna over analyze things and can easily take this post the wrong way. Its so easy to make that mistake at first, when the truth is these people likely didn't do anything wrong. 2
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