Amanda's Heart Posted January 26, 2005 Posted January 26, 2005 Should you keep loving someone, who for manys reason may not be able to love you back? Should I just ask him how he feels? He is a "One of a kind man" who's heart has been stomped! and left for dead, I see some signs there is hope. I truely believe he is worth waiting for. I have known him for 2 years. 8 months ago we strated dating, and he seems to really care for me and my kids. But still he is very hurt by his past. He was married for 17 years and she left him. His father died 4 years ago, then he met her, who also after 3 years left him. And now on new years eve his best friend died. How can I make him believe I am here to stay, not hurt him? I want to stay with him forever, should I just tell him? What can I say to make him believe in me? Maybe he does feel the same, WHAT DO I DO? I love him and hate to see him hurting so much. Can I heal his heart?
mt_joy Posted January 26, 2005 Posted January 26, 2005 I think he just needs time. That's a lot to go through. Just take things slowly and keep reassuring him that you love him and won't hurt him Good luck!
very-confused-girl Posted January 26, 2005 Posted January 26, 2005 I admire your patience. I probably wouldnt be able to manage this for very long as I would need to hear that my partner loves me. But good things are worth waiting for. For how long have you been with him? If he is really worth it and you can see the hope and more importantly - he is doing stuff to please you as well (that it is not just one-side relationship) that keep waiting. But dont be his saviour and comforter, either. You deserve to be loved and have an equivalent relationship. Relationship is about giving and taking too. Dont sell yourself short and dont content yourself with too little. Dont let him use you just for healing him and getting over his pain. Dont be his rebound. He should appreciate you as a woman, as somebody who he should protect, care for and love. So, give it a little bit of time, you cant push him to be telling you that he loves you, thats up to him, but if you see that the situation is not improving, try to suggest some counseling and if he is not comfortable with that idea and after you do everything to show him how you care without any "reward" back, consider leaving...
poister Posted January 26, 2005 Posted January 26, 2005 I wonder if your man is sending you any non-verbal love signals? Is he generous, patient, etc? Sometimes ppl are able to feel love for someone but not express it - perhaps he fears that if he tells you he loves you, the same bad things that have happened in the past would repeat themselves. If you are getting loving non-verbals, I would say this relationship is probably alright. If not, however, you may have to consider how much you are willing to give without reciprocity...
Stylin22 Posted January 27, 2005 Posted January 27, 2005 Actions speak louder than words. If you are so sure about him and are willing to take on the possible risks, I say support him. I feel like the only thing that will be able to speak to him openly is time. This is a long term thing and you'll need a lot of patience but if you wait for him that is going to be better then anything you can possibly tell him. Support him and comfort him BUT don't lose yourself or your dignity. If the sign says stop, be able to see it clearly so you are headed into an accident....
Author Amanda's Heart Posted February 2, 2005 Author Posted February 2, 2005 yes, all the non-verbal signs are there. He does so many little things that show how he feels!! I guess wait .
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