Phantom888 Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 Greg: Are you really young? Sounds like you don't have much experience with developing real relationships, which is okay. We all start somewhere. From the way you describe, she is not really interested in you romantically. You can have lots in common, and just be friends. Her suggestion about being lesbian is complete BS. That's how some people try to let you down easy without hurting you...by claiming they are gay, and it's not about you.
Stay Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 You never had anyone show interest back, you're not in love. You don't even know this girl as well as you may think. Calm down, that's all I can say. You're going crazy over this girl because you think there won't be another one who will like you the same way but the answer is there are plenty. The way you're acting isn't going to attract any women. If she is truly interested in you she will show it and I think she might have been but lost that attraction probably because of the way you're acting towards her, maybe too much communication, etc.
Author GregMarine Posted March 12, 2014 Author Posted March 12, 2014 She might be Bisexual. I mean what she has joked about to me has kind of made me wonder... Certain things she likes... She love Mass Effect and hasn't romanced any guys in the game... She alwasy plays as a female and romances females... She introduced me to a fan writer and her novels are always "lesbian"... She said that I still have a chance, when I asked her. Since she is going through some family stuff, I just want to be there for her, you know! She is very close to her family and grandfather, and he's dying (crappy timing in "meeting" her I guess oon my part, but nothing I can do, except to be there for her)... Do you think, say we become good friends, will there ever be a chance that things could get romantic?. All I have known is rejection or being so badly friendzoned in my life. Would just like one chance to see what a relationship with someone special is like you know! No girls have ever taken an interest in me, in real life, when I approach them, they usually turn their backs... So I went onto online dating as a "back up" because of how I had failed miserably with women. So she took time to speak to me... And something developed... Until the 2nd Feb. I just want a chance! I'm scared she will take one look at me and run! I'm not the most handsome guy in the world! Guess that's why no one has even given me the time of day! But at least she took the time to message me, skype with me, speak on the phone with me, which we did for hours.
pickflicker Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 You really need to calm down. She didn't sound very interested, I predict when you get to her location, she'll fob you off and tell you she can't see you. She's told you she's not interested in you romantically, you need to accept what she said. That's why people are calling you "selfish", you're not considering her wants, you're just concerned about being with her.
Author GregMarine Posted March 12, 2014 Author Posted March 12, 2014 She didn't exactly say she wasn't romantically interested in me. Just want to know what I can do to make her as interested as she was when we started speaking! How do I rectify the "we kinda spoke to much too soon" thing?
Author GregMarine Posted March 12, 2014 Author Posted March 12, 2014 There has to be a way of fixing it! Everyone says Move on! Forget her, etc. But it isn't that emotionally simple. Because what happened to fighting for love! Doing whatever it takes. Because I have a habit of persistence... Maybe its good for my career... But never actually liked someone this much for my persistence to really take effect!
Stay Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 There has to be a way of fixing it! Everyone says Move on! Forget her, etc. But it isn't that emotionally simple. Because what happened to fighting for love! Doing whatever it takes. Because I have a habit of persistence... Maybe its good for my career... But never actually liked someone this much for my persistence to really take effect! You never even met this girl yet, you don't love her. You don't know what love is and this is why you need to stop this or slow down which I doubt you would do since it's hard to slow down when you're not even in the right mindset. People are telling you to move on because if you keep this up all you're going to do is push her away. I'm a guy and I'd be scared to date someone like you also.. Sure it's a good feeling but it can be a bit creepy you say you love her already.
pickflicker Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 There has to be a way of fixing it! Everyone says Move on! Forget her, etc. But it isn't that emotionally simple. Because what happened to fighting for love! Doing whatever it takes. Because I have a habit of persistence... Maybe its good for my career... But never actually liked someone this much for my persistence to really take effect! You can't "fight for love", you don't even know her!
BJP56 Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 GregMarine, heres my advice..... Dont rush it, take your time. If she is not interested she is not interested, respect her space. I am going through a simalar thing with my potential GF. One thing I am doing is backing off, and not bothering her about a romantic relationship. We simply stay friends and have a good time together, until such time happens.
FitChick Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 She sounds confused about her sexuality. Lesbians can have male friends. She might like you as a friend.
KaylaP Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 She said I still have a chance. I'd marry he. She is the perfect woman!!! OMFG u are so delusional. FACTS!!!
Author GregMarine Posted March 13, 2014 Author Posted March 13, 2014 So... I "met" this girl online in Jan, we spoke the whole of Jan, then she started to be quite off towards me in Feb... anyways, we text here and there. I dont harrass her, Just if I tell you how i feel about her, you would thing in delusional etc... anyways. So she is working at a Soccer tournament, and I asked her if we could maybe hang out! She said "sounds good..." so we meeting finally. So I asked what time would be preferable. She said she doesn't know. Because the game times haven't been finalized etc, the teams will know on the day. She is working at the tournament all weekend. So anyways... My buddy said I should just arrive there and watch the soccer for a few minutes then send her a message saying "Hey, im at such and such a place in the stand, if you have time and keen to meet, I'll be here" So it doesn't look clingy! So anyways, I've been dying to see her for ages. Couldn't the first time due to transportation issues. So now I can! Anyways, What should I do? How do I get her to like me in person? What im trying to ask is... Should I hug her when I meet her? should I touch her when we speak? I can't see her for longg, because of her working... I want to make a good enough impression that she wants to see me next weekend again!
PegNosePete Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 You're putting a lot of emotion into someone you've never met. Seems like you're wayyyyy too involved here. For all you know she could be a guy pretending to be a woman, or a group of giggling schoolgirls having a joke. Nothing is real until you MEET. Well your first mistake was leaving it so long. Connections in online dating are so fleeting. Women get loads of messages so in the 2 months since she answered your first message, she has probably received 100+ from other guys. Other guys who will move a lot faster than you have done, and already been on dates with her. Generally you should be aiming to meet less than a week after initial contact! Normally I will send out messages on monday/tuesday, send 3-8 messages throughout the week, exchange phone numbers and ask her to meet up at the weekend. On a dedicated date, not "I'll meet up with you for 5 minutes in between you doing other stuff". So really I think your entire approach has been all wrong, and I would be very surprised if there's a second date here. But you never know..... No I would not do as your mate suggested. I would say good luck in the tournament, if you want to meet up for a drink afterwards then I'm free at 8pm. Yes hug her and kiss her cheek when you meet (always break the ice). Don't be too touchy else you'll come across as a creep.
HappyLove Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 I'm glad you're finally getting to meet her but if I'm gonna be honest I have to say this sounds like a questionable first meet. It just seems like too much is going to be going on and she's working! But hey on another note maybe it'll be more interesting? I'd definitely give her a hug on first meet and a compliment. I hope you guys have time to chat a little bit.
Author GregMarine Posted March 13, 2014 Author Posted March 13, 2014 Hey thanks for the replies. I havent been able to meet her before due to transport and financial issues. She isnt playing, she is working the side line etc. Its a fundrasing event. Anyways I have finally gotten my wheels and riding a few hundred km to see her. We have skyped and called each other so I know she is real. Its a pity I couldnt see her before now... but it was essentially out of my hands. Ow she has deleted her online dating account, a few weeks after we started speaking.
Author GregMarine Posted March 13, 2014 Author Posted March 13, 2014 Im taking the earliest opportunity to see her. Bad Idea?
HappyLove Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 Im taking the earliest opportunity to see her. Bad Idea? No you should definitely go see her after all this time. Make sure you ask her out for a proper date though after.
Hello_is_it_me Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 Why are you picking her time of work as when to first hang out? Just doesn't seem like the best environment to first meet. Not a good choice.
Author GregMarine Posted March 13, 2014 Author Posted March 13, 2014 Its not work work! Its just a fundraising tournament, which she is volunteering at... she is "working" all weekend.
Hello_is_it_me Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 Its not work work! Its just a fundraising tournament, which she is volunteering at... she is "working" all weekend. Okay but I hope it doesn't distract her much. Can't really get to know someone very well in that capacity. And if it's been such a wait til now I say make up for lost time and try to cover some ground with this girl!
Author GregMarine Posted March 13, 2014 Author Posted March 13, 2014 What do nyou mean by cover ground... I'm very new to dating and relationships... What can I do that will better my chances to asking her on a date the following week... I mean she has been off towards me of recent... kind of romantically off since the 2nd Feb... And she agreed to meet... just want to see her and see if there is anything there. What can I do?
J21 Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 You are way too attached and your expectations are sky high before even meeting her. Good luck. I hope that online chemistry turns into real world chemistry.
d0nnivain Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 It sounds like an OK casual first meet but I see logistical problems. First don't expect her to be able to come to you or even immediately reply to your text. She has responsibilities but hopefully will have some time to socialize. Ideally, you will be included in her post tournament plans or you could ask her to get a cup of coffee or a drink depending on your ages but what do you do with your buddy? The 3rd wheel will make this a bit awkward but you have to bring him since it's such a long drive & part of the enjoyment for you should be watching the soccer match. Let her initiate the hug When the guy does it, many women feel overwhelmed. You can initiate a hand shake if she doesn't attempt to touch you in someway. Just do in person what you have been doing on Skype. Be cordial. Smile. Make eye contact & be interested in what she has to say.
pickflicker Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 Unfortunately, I can see her either not returning your "I'm here" message, or giving you the brush off and avoiding you. I hope I'm wrong. Good luck.
ExpatInItaly Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 This is the same girl you've described in your previous threads, I presume? If so, you need to dial your expectations back. She's been blowing hot and cold and even told you she might be a lesbian. Do not put all your eggs in one basket, OP. Play it cool, as much as you can. You're coming across as too over-bearing in your posts, so make a conscious effort not to reflect this when you finally meet her.
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