GregMarine Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 (edited) Hi, I kind of need a little advice. So... I met this girl online in January sent her a message on the 3rd, not expecting a reply but she replied on the 6th Jan. anyways, we hit it off well, messaging back and forth, then she gave me her number. We texted everyday for a month. We skyped, and spoke on the phone for hours. Everything seemed to be going great. She told me she liked me so much. I couldn't believe how my feelings developed for someone I hadn't met. I have never met someone with so much in common with me, it's really weird. On the 2nd Feb, things took a turn, she read my messages on Whatsapp and didn't reply. I didn't know what was going on, then a few days later I asked if I had done anything wrong. She replied that it wasn't me, it was her (classic pulling away move). I had planned to meet her on the 16th Feb, but due to certain circumstances I could get down to her city. So then that day she claimed she was sexually confused and might be lesbian. Which threw me back... I had developed feelings for her, and liked her and still very much really like her still. So anyways. She has been kind of off towards me ever since the 2nd Feb. On the 3rd March a friend of mine, which I only found out a few days later "liked" me, well she stole the girl I likes her number from my phone when we were going out clubbing and sent her a message stating that "she" liked me etc, trying to get the girl I like to maybe confess her feelings, playing the "jealousy card", I don't know... but the girl I like said she wasn't ready for a relationship. Anyways I noticed a picture she posted on facebook about how love is pointless and painful etc. So I'm finally going to her city, and on Sunday I texted her and asked how she was etc. then mentioned I was coming down next weekend. She said cool, just let me know when you are in town. and that she wanted to maybe hang out. Ow one of her family members is also dying from cancer. All I want is to be with her. I have NEVER in my life felt so much for someone. At first it scared the **** out of me, it still does in retrospect. But All I want is to be with her. She is on Whatsapp a lot... I am just a little scared that she has maybe found someone else. How often should I text her? I really need advice please. Edited March 12, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Gaeta Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 All I want is to be with her. I have NEVER in my life felt so much for someone. At first it scared the **** out of me, it still does in retrospect. But All I want is to be with her. She is on Whatsapp a lot... I am just a little scared that she has maybe found someone else. How often should I text her?I really need advice please. Greg, you have to stop and auto analyze a little here. What you are feeling is very selfish. It's all about what YOU want and none of it about what SHE wants. She has made it clear she is not into getting with you any longer, you can't change that, no matter how much you impose yourself you won't change the way she feels. When you pursue someone that has made it clear she's not interested it has the opposite effect, it will push them further away. So my advice is to leave her be. She has other things on her plate at this time. Go back out there and find someone that *wants* to get to know you. 1
Author GregMarine Posted March 12, 2014 Author Posted March 12, 2014 Why is it selfish to fall in love with someone! I asked her a few weeks ago, If i still had a chance with her. We have yet to meet. Im going to her city next weekend to see her.
Author GregMarine Posted March 12, 2014 Author Posted March 12, 2014 She said I still have a chance. I'd marry he. She is the perfect woman!!!
Author GregMarine Posted March 12, 2014 Author Posted March 12, 2014 I just need advice on what to do! without people saying move on! move on! etc.
Author GregMarine Posted March 12, 2014 Author Posted March 12, 2014 Ow, I've never been in a relationship before. Thats why im asking for advice.
newmoon Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 why don't you just wait until you actually meet her in person to determine if you love her and have a chance? people can say many things online and pretend and lie. it's best to just be a bit patient and not put too much emphasis on this relationship until you meet.
oldshirt Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 My advice is to step away from the computer and talk to real girls in real life. 3
Author GregMarine Posted March 12, 2014 Author Posted March 12, 2014 I cant stop thinking about her!!! Never felt like this for someone I havent met!!! Hopefully meeting next weekend, going to her city to see her!!! How often should I text her?
StanMusial Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 I cant stop thinking about her!!! Never felt like this for someone I havent met!!! Hopefully meeting next weekend, going to her city to see her!!! How often should I text her? At least 50 times per day but no more than 175. 3
oz-missy Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 Is this a troll account? Judging by the number of responses OP has responded to in a row...maybe? But I digress...firstly take a deep breath and relax. You don't "love" her, you "love the idea of her. Speaking to someone on the phone, or on skype or even communicating via text based messaging does not convey everything about a person. On skype, you may be able to see the person but it is a very rigid environment. The other person is either behind a computer or a mobile phone camera, not interacting with you like someone in real life does. If you do make it to the same town as this girl, yes let her know you are there and you are happy to catch up. HOWEVER if she does not respond or pulls away leave it. Walk away. I have chatted to a number of guys online over the years and some I meet and it's awesome, others you just drift away from. Stop obsessing. It's not a good look. Btw girls can smell desperation from many many miles away.
oz-missy Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 Im seriously asking for advice! You have been given advice. Just because it's advice you don't want to hear, it doesn't mean it isn't advice. 1
Author GregMarine Posted March 12, 2014 Author Posted March 12, 2014 Just want to know what I can do to better my chances. All i've know is rejection. I'd love to have her as a first girlfriend. I said to her, that I might be coming down next weekend. She said "Cool, let me know closer to the time when you down :)". Then I asked if she was keen to hang out, She said "Yeah Sure :)"
Gaeta Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 Hi, On the 2nd Feb, things took a turn, she read my messages on Whatsapp and didn't reply. I didn't know what was going on, then a few days later I asked if I had done anything wrong. She replied that it wasn't me, it was her (classic pulling away move). Why do you think women pull away?---> She is no more interested in you in a romantic way then that day she claimed she was sexually confused and might be lesbian. Which threw me back... I had developed feelings for her, and liked her and still very much really like her still. So anyways. She has been kind of off towards me ever since the 2nd Feb. She tells you she is questioning her sexuality and is off toward you ---> she is not interested in you in a romantic way but the girl I like said she wasn't ready for a relationship. -----> She is not interested in you in a romantic way. So I'm finally going to her city, and on Sunday I texted her and asked how she was etc. then mentioned I was coming down next weekend. She said cool, just let me know when you are in town. and that she wanted to maybe hang out. If she had been interested she would have made plans with you right there ----> She is not interested in you in a romantic way All I want is to be with her. I have NEVER in my life felt so much for someone. At first it scared the **** out of me, it still does in retrospect. But All I want is to be with her. This is where you are selfish, you don't care if she's interested in you or not, you don't care she is questioning her sexuality, you don't care a family member is dying of cancer all YOU care about is your own little feelings of infatuation toward her. She is on Whatsapp a lot... I am just a little scared that she has maybe found someone else. ---She is not interested in you in a romantic way. 1
oz-missy Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 Just want to know what I can do to better my chances. All i've know is rejection. I'd love to have her as a first girlfriend. I said to her, that I might be coming down next weekend. She said "Cool, let me know closer to the time when you down :)". Then I asked if she was keen to hang out, She said "Yeah Sure :)" There is NO secret formula to better your chances. If she is keen on you, then she is keen on you. If she's not, then she's not. If she is happy to catch up when you are in town, let her know when you are already in town and ask when she's free to catch up. If you do see her then all well and good, you can see if you guys actually mesh in real life. If she doesn't want to catch up - MOVE ON.
Author GregMarine Posted March 12, 2014 Author Posted March 12, 2014 Thing is she doesnt have a car, and im only getting my car next week. Been a while. but that is one of the reasons we haven't yet met. I do care about her granfather who is battling cancer. Im not being selfish. Im just crazy about her. I just want to know what I can do to better my chances. I care for her. Probably a reason I havent been in a relationship is because I care TOO much! Happens in my country. lol. I jsut want to see her. She said in Jan "This might sound really weird, but im almost desperate to see you". I guess because I didnt, well, couldnt see her immediately what the height of our "liking" each other... maybe contributed to her pulling away. Now that I am getting my car next week. I can see her often. If she wants. Because she cant get up hto me because of transport problems... in my country... we dont have reliable public transport.
Author GregMarine Posted March 12, 2014 Author Posted March 12, 2014 No girl has ever been keen on me in my life before. She is the first one to show interest back... at least in the beginning.
J21 Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 This isn't looking too good for u man. The posts above all hit the nail on the head. FWIW calm down with your demands for advice. None of us truly care about your personal situation. We understand you're into this girl, but it makes zero difference in our lives. Being demanding that we give u advice (only something positive you want to hear it seems) doesn't bring you brownie points or make your situation any better.
Author GregMarine Posted March 12, 2014 Author Posted March 12, 2014 Thats why I started online dating. Because of it!
Author GregMarine Posted March 12, 2014 Author Posted March 12, 2014 What can I do to better my chances?
Author GregMarine Posted March 12, 2014 Author Posted March 12, 2014 After my friend did the jealousy thing... She messaged me 2 days later! asking how I was!!! Ow she has always replied when I text her, In the last 5 weeks or so.
ExpatInItaly Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 What can I do to better my chances? First and foremost, you need to calm down. Being overly eager is very off-putting to most women and will drive them in the opposite direction. It comes across as desperate. It also sets you up for extreme disappointment. Second, try to gain more perspective. She hasn't really reciprocated your level of interest. You have also never met her. At the moment, you've got major rose-coloured glasses on. if she is pulling back, don't overwhelm her. If she suggested meeting up, go for it. If she backs out, you need to back off too. Out of pure curiosity, how old are you?
Author GregMarine Posted March 12, 2014 Author Posted March 12, 2014 So I texted her today, couldn't hold out any longer... She replied within 5 min. I mean she replies, which is a good sign... I texted eay to late... She seemed quite okay in her reply. A few "Haha's" and ":)" faces. And she said Chat tomorrow! I'll wait for her to text me? Or should I send a morning message. I think she is keen to meet! What should I do when we do see each other? Give her a hug? Should I try touch her to see how she responds?
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