Mommame2 Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 So I have had some bizarre luck with OLD Met a guy last week who seemed so kind .. Christian. Said I didn't want to get physical right away. Etc. def used caution considering last guy. So he lives an hour away. He has driven here twice to meet me for only an hour. I told him I didn't want him to drive all this way... Considering I only had short time due to my son and work schedule. He keeps texting me about how he is giving thanks to God for meeting me. That I am the answer to his prayers. Sending me bible verses and implying that I am his gift from God. Bottom line he's a very nice man. But he keeps talking about possibly getting remarried and where we will live in 1 year etc. I have met him for dinner once and drinks the second time. He is SO into me. And I feel bad that all this texting about how he's falling for me and he sees us having a house with white picket fence...is panicking me. How of I deal with this? He's very sweet and means well. But it's just too much too soon.
TheyCallMeOx Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 Tell him to find "the heart of the ocean." The famous necklace from the Titanic. He'll look in the ocean for an item that doesn't exist, he will freeze to death, drop to the bottom of the ocean, and will never be seen again. If, by some divine miracle, he does manage to find something remotely close from the Titanic and it's worth lots of money...tell him to give it to you, thanks, and run the opposite direction. 4
Ninjainpajamas Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 Sounds like a potentially jealous and controlling man IMO that's the pattern I've seen with guys like that, they lock it down quickly and women believe they just finally found someone looking for commitment and who "knows what he wants" but these type of guys tend to be desperate and essentially need something they can dominate and indulge themselves into completely which is why religion works so well for these types. They may come off very nice and humbling at first, super polite and considerate like they couldn't hurt a fly, but man is man in my book and underneath it all don't be surprised if they have a temper or are extremely sensitive and defensive, possibly even abusive. Be cautious with the guy at the very, very least. You don't know him, don't think because he's all nice and well-mannered and religious that he's this great sincere guy, you don't know him at all, imagine how many guys like that you'll find in the police department criminal log thingy! Don't take things at face value with men, you know this guy is acting creepy and being way too invested early on and talking like a crazy person, don't just sweep that under the rug...and I know "aw shucks, but he seems like a great guy otherwise", don't do that shet, I'm sure however at this point that he's got the pedal pressed down far even you're having trouble buying into that illusion, to a point where it's just a turn-off...so tell him god told you in a dream that you shouldn't date him and then hang-up, change your phone number and lock your doors! But seriously you don't want to lead this guy on, or he's going to be one of those types to possibly harass/stalk you. But who knows, maybe you're a crazy person to and like that kind of thing! 6
David87 Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 Wow, this guy is so desperate that he would do anything for you. I agree he said things to early and that's why he pushes you away. Find another date this one .... neahh
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 He could also be a player/future faker. So he is either a player or a stalker. Neither is good. 4
David87 Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 He could also be a player/future faker. So he is either a player or a stalker. Neither is good. A player knows how to attract women, this guy pushes the op away.
Gaeta Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 I met a couple of those. They're so in a hurry to be with someone...anyone. It's usually a band-aid something they need, not a relationship. You can tell him to slow down but he won't, if you keep on seeing him in a few of weeks he'll get up and say that finally he's not ready for a relationship. Typical. Think about it, he says he's so happy he met you and thank God each day. What is he happy for exactly? He doesn't know anything about you yet. 3
BC1980 Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 I met a couple of those. They're so in a hurry to be with someone...anyone. It's usually a band-aid something they need, not a relationship. You can tell him to slow down but he won't, if you keep on seeing him in a few of weeks he'll get up and say that finally he's not ready for a relationship. Typical. Think about it, he says he's so happy he met you and thank God each day. What is he happy for exactly? He doesn't know anything about you yet. He wants anyone who shows the slightest bit of interest. He likes the idea of being married or in a relationship. I wouldn't try to fix it by talking to him. This is just a huge red flag that says run.
HappyLove Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 This is a bit much. You only met him last week!!!
GoreSP Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 I think you should not bring up sex so fast. I mean - you met the guy last week and you already more or less told him you would have sex with him - just not right now. Get to know the guy and don't put yourself in a 'sex might happen' situation until you actually want to have sex with the guy... 2
newmoon Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 you left out from your post whether you actually like him and want to keep dating him. if you don't like him or his behavior(s) then you just end it nicely, because it does sound like he's rushing (that could be desperation). but if you like him and still think it has potential then you ask him to slow down, or you start answering fewer calls/texts until he gets that message. and don't feel any guilt that he has to drive; that's our female nonsense not allowing a guy to be a gentleman - he's doing the right thing coming to see you, as any guy should, that's called showing interest. 2
J21 Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 To be honest, u don't really owe him an explanation or anything... You guys met twice! I hope u haven't been replying to his text messages, he might mistake it as u being interested. I would just ignore him and hope he'll eventually get the hint.
HappyLove Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 I think you should not bring up sex so fast. I mean - you met the guy last week and you already more or less told him you would have sex with him - just not right now. Get to know the guy and don't put yourself in a 'sex might happen' situation until you actually want to have sex with the guy... I was thinking the same thing. You just met last week a bit soon to be bringing up sex. Your conversation is premature and on the fast track as well. I wonder if this is making him move faster as well because he's taking your lead? Again, too much too soon.
Author Mommame2 Posted March 12, 2014 Author Posted March 12, 2014 Well I told him I was very busy but maybe we could get together next weekend for second date. (He invited himself to my house so I said no). So he knew I had a small hole in my schedule and offered if drive the hr to meet me and buy me a drink He tells me he already told his mom and friends about me. And he keeps saying just how easy I am to love... And how much he adores me. I think he is a nice man and comes from a good place. But he's making me not like him by falling all over me. I told him that gently and said... We have great potential... Let's not put so much pressure on this and take it day by day. He agreed. And then went to church and told me some bible verse he read made him cry because he was so grateful for me.
Gaeta Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 (edited) (He invited himself to my house so I said no). I would have dropped him right there, I am not a prude but there are things that you don't close your eyes on and that's one. A man *inviting himself* is up to no good. You never invite yourself to a lady's house, and on top of that for a second date, you wait for the lady to invite you! He's quiet an aggressive hunter for a man referring to the Bible every minute!!. He tells me he already told his mom and friends about me. And he keeps saying just how easy I am to love... And how much he adores me. He loves you? So if tomorrow you need a kidney he would volunteer one? He agreed. And then went to church and told me some bible verse he read made him cry because he was so grateful for me. How do you feel about being thrown Bible verses left and right? Edited March 12, 2014 by Gaeta
Author Mommame2 Posted March 12, 2014 Author Posted March 12, 2014 I am religious as well... But I keep thinking... You don't really know me. He spends most of the time talking about how fantastic I am instead of asking me my views on the world. I think it's just too much too soon. This weekend is his birthday and he asked me to go away for the weekend with him. He clarified that he wasn't planning on sex but he wanted to go away for wine tasting etc. says he wants to spend his bday with me. I don't know what to do.... I could go to dinner with him but I don't want to go away with him. No matter how rich he is. I don't want to break the guy's heart on his bday. Btw he's been married twice before. And he has since found religion and even become leader in his church.
MidwestUSA Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 Is this still your second guy, the stage 5 clinger, or have you moved on and found yet another? 2
Author Mommame2 Posted March 12, 2014 Author Posted March 12, 2014 No this is ANOTHER guy. The second guy got ticked when I asked to slow down. And he defriended me on FB!
MidwestUSA Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 No this is ANOTHER guy. The second guy got ticked when I asked to slow down. And he defriended me on FB! Wow, you're in the middle of a pool of winners! This one sounds a lot like the last. Why are you friending these guys on Facebook at this stage of the game?
Author Mommame2 Posted March 12, 2014 Author Posted March 12, 2014 This last guy is actually a friend of a friend. So we were already connected on FB. Same could be said for the second to last guy. Ie gorgeous clinger.
GravityMan Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 This guy is ... a) desperate b) putting you on a pedestal I can also buy the stalker angle...he may be wielding religion and the Bible as weapons in an attempt to get you to lower your guard, making it easier for him to quickly get what he wants. On top of that, I'm getting "religious nutjob" vibes from him. All are clear red flags. Even if you're moving a bit too fast yourself...grounded, emotionally stable men (even those who are somewhat religious) simply do not act like this guy's acting. I'd advise dropping him pronto. But if you really want to keep seeing him, back off some...if he doesn't get the hint then drop him. 1
HappyLove Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 "I would have dropped him right there, I am not a prude but there are things that you don't close your eyes on and that's one. A man *inviting himself* is up to no good. You never invite yourself to a lady's house, and on top of that for a second date, you wait for the lady to invite you! He's quiet an aggressive hunter for a man referring to the Bible every minute!!." Very true! I once let that slide with a guy I just met. We planned a second date but in between he decides to invite himself over to watch a movie. I said HELL NO. Especially since I don't let guys I just met know where I live. He turned out to be a jerk up to no good. 1
MidwestUSA Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 Was it this guy? Now you owe me a cup of coffee to replace what just came out of my nose! 8
Recommended Posts