Medium.Lumo Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 So I am confused about this female friend's behaviour lately. The background: We have known eachother for around 8 months. I met her through other female friends. A group of us used to go out quite often and she became included. We got along really well, but I didn't think much of it because she gets along with everyone, truly a lovely person. At a club around a month ago this guy started making rude comments about her ears. Now I don't know what this is called, but her ears don't have a proper lobe at the bottom, they go into the side of her head. I have seen it before so it's not completely rare, but I don't think it's common either. So I lost it and told him off, and I may have gone overboard. Then apologised to her and he replied to me with "Sorry I insulted your girlfriend, mate" which sounded completely sincere, but put me in a very awkward situation. If I said "No, she's not my girlfriend" it would come off as if I was not being honest about everything I said about her... sort of like she's amazing... but not enough for me. So I just told him to not worry about it but be careful what he said in future. Now after that I spent the rest of the night with her just to judge how she felt about the whole situation. I didn't want to make things weird between us. She obviously was aware we weren't dating and I hoped she would understand why I didn't reply indicating this. She seemed fine with it. The next week she started texting me a lot more often than usual, which was fine because I enjoyed talking to her. Then she started making plans without the group, so we went out alone together. It was fun, but I couldn't help but wonder why. Then the next Monday she changed her FB profile pic and her BBM profile pic to a pic of me and her!!! (Before it was her dog on BBM). That freaked me out a bit, but I didn't say anything. Then that weekend we went to a movie with the group, and she started about 10 minutes in to hold my hand. A few minutes later she started leaning on me. It was quite arousing, but it freaked me out. After that we went for coffee with the group, and then I gave her a lift home. We ended up making out. I don't really know what's going on with her, if she's playinf with me or not. Even though I went overboard in my speech about her, I really do think she's pretty... probably out of my league to be honest. I'm also not fonvinced relationships are a good thing until you are reallt ready. My friends in relationships all have complications because of them. But I can't help being excited about the prospect of dating her. We are spending a lot of time together and she is starting to want to cone along with me even when I am out with dufferent groups of friends. She's also texting me a lot more often than ever before. What do you think is happening here? Is she playing with me?
Mr Scorpio Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 What do you think is happening here? Is she playing with me? Playing with you? I suppose it is possible. To me, it seems like she is sending repeated signals that she wants more than a friendship. I don't think she could get obvious. 2
Author Medium.Lumo Posted March 12, 2014 Author Posted March 12, 2014 Sorry about the typos. It's my phone
Author Medium.Lumo Posted March 12, 2014 Author Posted March 12, 2014 Playing with you? I suppose it is possible. To me, it seems like she is sending repeated signals that she wants more than a friendship. I don't think she could get obvious. Lol. That's funny, but what should I do? I'm not really sure how to respond to her without feeling weird about it.
Author Medium.Lumo Posted March 12, 2014 Author Posted March 12, 2014 Forgot to mention that I haven't had a girlfriend before. So excuse me if some of my comments are naive
Author Medium.Lumo Posted March 13, 2014 Author Posted March 13, 2014 Maybe I didn't articulate my original question well enough, come to think of it. I am worried she is playing with me because I didn't deny her being my girlfriend to that guy in my original post.
salparadise Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 I am worried she is playing with me because I didn't deny her being my girlfriend to that guy in my original post. Dude, it's time for you to grow up quick. You defended her honor, you made her feel safe and protected. She's sending unambiguous signals that she's into you. You may feel she's out of your league but she doesn't, so she isn't. Carpe diem! She has attached ear lobes. It's not unusual at all. 2
Author Medium.Lumo Posted March 13, 2014 Author Posted March 13, 2014 Dude, it's time for you to grow up quick. You defended her honor, you made her feel safe and protected. She's sending unambiguous signals that she's into you. You may feel she's out of your league but she doesn't, so she isn't. Carpe diem! She has attached ear lobes. It's not unusual at all. Thanks for the reply, salparadise. So what do you mean by grow up? What should I do? How do I bring up the subject? Should I ask her how she feels?
salparadise Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 Thanks for the reply, salparadise. So what do you mean by grow up? What should I do? How do I bring up the subject? Should I ask her how she feels? Act like a man, treat her like a woman. Be attentive. You already know she responds to you taking control and protecting her. Take the lead from now on and be sensitive. Respond with confidence. What should you do? Kiss her like you mean it–– a lot! 1
Author Medium.Lumo Posted March 14, 2014 Author Posted March 14, 2014 Act like a man, treat her like a woman. Be attentive. You already know she responds to you taking control and protecting her. Take the lead from now on and be sensitive. Respond with confidence. What should you do? Kiss her like you mean it–– a lot! What if she feels that she owes me something for defending her and is actually not really interested? I would really hate her to feel that way. Having said that I'm going to take your advice and make a move by changing my FB status and see how she reacts.
Author Medium.Lumo Posted March 14, 2014 Author Posted March 14, 2014 (edited) More background: People seem to be saying I'm an idiot for not thinking these signs are obvious and that she is into me. But throughout the friendship she has been physical. She is a "hugger", hugs everyone. She also used to "rub" me early on in the friendship, not in a sexual way but just my arm if we were sitting together or my hand etc. She also hugged me very closely and kissed the top of my head when my cat had to be put down a while back. I know it was just a kiss on the top of the head but wow. It really gave me a lot to think about that night. I understand that making out is a bit different but maybe she just felt she owed me something? Edited March 14, 2014 by Medium.Lumo
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