ceasonjadeee Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 Hi! I have been engaged for over a year and am currently a Senior in college so I'm 22. I have had numerous tests for the past couple of weeks, for whatever reason, and my fiance seems to be mad at me. Like today, I have two tests tomorrow, so I've been studying today and he had called me down to dinner (we live together) but then he wanted to watch a movie. I said okay and he knows I need to study. Anyways, about half-way through the movie because it was way longer than I thought, I said I need to go back upstairs and finish studying. For whatever reason, he got pissed at me. Can anyone explain to me why? I know I've been up to my neck in school work lately but he didn't have to go off on me like that. There are other problems with our relationship that really would take all day to write about but I'm not trying to worry about it rather get it off my chest.
WrinkledForehead Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 It's because of the other problems in your relationship. I'm a student, too. I have goals and dreams and I've worked damn hard to get to where I am and I'll keep working hard until I'm successful with my aspirations. For me, education is a passion. I'd have some serious beef with any partner who had a problem with that. Don't take his grief and start getting to the root of things.
HappyLove Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 22? Way to young to be getting married period. On top of that you're already having a bunch if issues. Future husband can't even understand you need to study? Good luck with that. As far as explaining why.... he sounds young and immature. 1
Author ceasonjadeee Posted March 12, 2014 Author Posted March 12, 2014 I know but we've decided to hold off until I graduate which will be in like 2-3 years, depending. I'm a Nursing major. And he's 28. But yeah, I just looked at him, said a few choice words and walked off. Thanks!
Assasda Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 I think he just has an ego problem, and he wants your time. I think you can make it a little better by stroking his ego; just tell him tenderly that you'd love to do even more with him, but you have to study. Be tender. Anyway, I hope it works out, but sometimes us guys can have an ego
Tayken Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 OP...you are learning very quickly that the generation you are dealing with, is a selfish one that cares only about themselves...it doesn't get better either as they grow up This is your cue to run for the hills. Any rationale person will know the value of what you are trying to do with your studies 1
Gaeta Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 ...I just looked at him, said a few choice words and walked off. Thanks! of course, we all know that this attitude will salvage any relationship.
Author ceasonjadeee Posted March 12, 2014 Author Posted March 12, 2014 Update: we're fine now. I asked him what the matter was but he never said so I just brushed it off and am not going to worry about since I have a massive test tomorrow.
MrMeh Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 Update: we're fine now. I asked him what the matter was but he never said so I just brushed it off and am not going to worry about since I have a massive test tomorrow. That's just fantastic. Exceptional communication skills! Good luck with your marriage. 1
Els Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 Update: we're fine now. I asked him what the matter was but he never said so I just brushed it off and am not going to worry about since I have a massive test tomorrow. I actually think you did the right thing to put off a big conversation until after your test. Your studies should be the most important thing at your age. But you really do need to talk to him after your tests are over. You can't go into a marriage with things the way they are.
Keenly Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 The guy just wants to spend some time with you... you need to make time between studies for him Even if its just a little.
Els Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 The guy just wants to spend some time with you... you need to make time between studies for him Even if its just a little. This is terrible advice, especially for a 22 yo. Relationships that start young and actually survive, involve a lot of maturity and understanding. No mature and understanding partner gets pissed off at their SO not finishing a movie with them when he/she has 2 tests on the very next day. Given the fact that you actually defend guys who eschew spending time with their partner to play video games or hang out with friends, I'm appalled at your advice to the OP, who actually has a good reason for temporarily not spending time with hers. 1
Keenly Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 This is terrible advice, especially for a 22 yo. Relationships that start young and actually survive, involve a lot of maturity and understanding. No mature and understanding partner gets pissed off at their SO not finishing a movie with them when he/she has 2 tests on the very next day. Given the fact that you actually defend guys who eschew spending time with their partner to play video games or hang out with friends, I'm appalled at your advice to the OP, who actually has a good reason for temporarily not spending time with hers. That's not what I said. And you are taking a piece of advice I gave to one particular situation and applying it into a completely different situation. In THIS situation, the one we are talking about, it sounds like he just wants a little time. Her lost made it sound like she is only studying and that's all she is doing. Everyone jumped on the guy for being some kind of horrible person for wanting a little bit of alone time with her . I never said he was handling his feelings the right way, so I don't know why we are feeling the need to jump on me for pointing out what is going through his mind, but this is what's happening. I wasn't aware that telling some one to take 30 minutes out of their day to spend some time with their SO was bad advice. Perhaps you could elaborate why advocating some time together is detrimental to either her studies, or her relationship. 30 minutes is HARDLY going to cut into some ones day.
Els Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 I wasn't aware that telling some one to take 30 minutes out of their day to spend some time with their SO was bad advice. Perhaps you could elaborate why advocating some time together is detrimental to either her studies, or her relationship. 30 minutes is HARDLY going to cut into some ones day. Because the exam was the next day? And she had already had dinner and the first half of a movie with him, which likely took more than 30 minutes? Most of us are capable of dealing with our partners spending a couple weeks out of a year completely to themselves if they have important career/study stuff to do.
heatherjanette28 Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 Sorry for your troubles, is your fiance in school as well? If not, it may be difficult for him to understand what you are going through. Now, that's not to excuse his behavior but it can help you to understand it. Frankly, he is insecure and I think it's best to discuss that with him. You are young and school should be a top priority but it is in the end all about balance. One should be able to balance work, school, hobbies, family and relationships. If one of those things are too extreme, problems will eventually arise.
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