girlfriend got her gangbang on

[250r]

I wouldn't be interested in a relationship with a woman who got her "bang on" with several other guys at once! No thanks, someone else can deal with those issues, cause I'm not...

[GirlDown]

Originally posted by rtobiejr

I knew there was something up here--the poor thing.

 

( And here Dr. Spock is attempting to tell me it's perfectly normal and healthy--not self-destructive at all!-- to have had 15 to 20 partners when one is only 27 .)

 

 

i've been with my fair share of people, and i was never molested. i am 23.

 

however, i am not a slut.

 

and women can also be mysogynistc...and ignorant as hell, apparently, as you've shown.

[GirlDown]

Originally posted by rtobiejr

Let us agree to disagree, Spock.

 

I believe a person can be comfortable with their sexuality and at the same time respectful of their body. I wish food were like sex-- then we could say fat people are in "touch with their food" and "comfortable about their hunger" instead of the truth, that they need to exercise self-control, exercise and choose healthy things to eat.

 

maybe they are in touch with their food, maybe they are comfortable with their hunger.

 

who the fu*ck are you to decide what the right way of doing things is?

 

tsk, tsk...so anti-racism against yourself, yet completely pro-hoiler than thou when it comes to others.

 

get the f*uck over yourself.

[LoveRobber]

I'm curious if there's been any resolution to all of this? i am in a similar (almost) situation and have been working hard to find a way to be "ok" with things. and i'm sure there are numerous threads that have been devoted to "getting over a partners history". i don't want to start a discussion on all of this...i don't want ot hear from the feminsist ("IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS YOU HYPOCRITE"). or the naive ("DUDE, JUST GET OVER IT. IT'S NO BIG DEAL"). i really want to hear from those (men i presume) who've said they know what it's like to get over this sort of thing. b/c i believe it can be done. but how?

 

as a little fyi, the woman i'm seeing was not 'banged by 5 guys. but she was recently in a manipulative relationship (think "9 1/2 weeks" but for 1 1/2 years) where teh guy would treat her poorly, dominate her(?), and get her to do things for him...mostly sexually. and yes, there was a threesome involved with another dude. an event she says she regretted almost immediately. and, i might add to this, i am the only person she's told any of the to, not even her own g/f know b/c she's embarrased, etc. and...she thought she could trust me and wouldn't judge her. i'm ashamed that i'm not that person and i've sort of violated that trust. anyway....it's hard for me to trust that she wouldn't behave this way in the future. she admits it was a bad situation. a bad relationship. and she made bad choices. and i believe her. we all make "mistakes" but still deserve to be in a loving relationship. and i am a total hypocrite in that i've been with far many more partners than she...but...seriously, for some men, there's this little insecurity about [insert any reason here] that makes it hard to move beyond.

 

it's difficult to know that she allowed herself to be treated this way. and why tell me? it's almost as though she wants ME to forgive her something she can't forgive herself for. and that sort of blows. so i know these issues are mine. and i want to work on them. and i don't want to torment myself or her for the next month while we work through it (if that is what's to happen). in fact, i almost just said "screw it, i can't do this" and bailed. but she loves me, and i care for her, and i want to at least try. if things don't improve, then i/she can decide whether to keep trying.

 

any thoughts? be nice...i'm trying.