waiting4u Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 I don't do the dating game very well. In fact I quit doing it because I was so bad and I wasn't meeting men I like anyway. I really like this guy. He seems to like me too and I don't want to mess it up. I just have NO PATIENCE for this dating game bs - he waits 3 days to ask me out - I don't ask him out because I look needy (btw I tend to be needy in relationships and am trying to break the habit, so this is a concern), I run away so he can chase me, blah blah blah. We've been out on 1 date (which I suggested, although he initiated contact first), kissed pretty seriously, talked at the gym a few times, facebooked and texted a little. I just want to kiss him again! :bunny: It's been a week since our last date (I was out of town on business for the weekend). At the gym Sunday he suggested we get together this week but didn't set a time. He texted last night but I went to bed early and missed it. I am SO TIRED OF WAITING to see him again but I don't want to seem desperate. I'm thinking next time he texts I just say: "Hey, will you ask me out already because I really want to kiss you again." Desperate? Needy? Too sexy? Pushy? I am NOT going to suggest a time / place /location because I did it last time and it's his turn. I just want to be straight with him and knock off all the nonsense where I sit around and wait for him to text me. Yes, I'm insane. Help! I need advice.
Assasda Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 You sound fine. Youre attracted to the guy. Ask him out, you wont seem needy at all. Strong and assertive. Needy is a whole different thing. You 2 already kissed, so I suggest, that when youre out, you casually mention that you want him to kiss you like he did before. I know this would turn me on. It would turn any red-blooded man on. -Casually mention it to him when you guys are out. This who;e thing sounds great. Just dont stress over it too much
Author waiting4u Posted March 11, 2014 Author Posted March 11, 2014 Sounds great, only I have to GET HIM TO ASK ME OUT for a specific date first. He's just "we should hang out this week" and I'm thinking WHEN. That's the conundrum. We've got great chemistry - heck he stroked my hand at the gym when I was on the treadmill just to make physical contact the other day. I'm not worried about the kissing on the date part. I just want to make plans for the date without letting him know what a freak I am.
Raena Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 Don't text him that!!!! Just wait, bide your time... if he's interested, he'll come around. If he isn't, he won't. But... if and when he does finally get around to finalizing a date with you, then ON the date go ahead and blurt out what you are thinking. HAHA. Ok, so maybe that isn't good advice either, but I'd wait to go putting all of your cards on the table right away. Give it some time.
Assasda Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 Sounds great, only I have to GET HIM TO ASK ME OUT for a specific date first. He's just "we should hang out this week" and I'm thinking WHEN. That's the conundrum. We've got great chemistry - heck he stroked my hand at the gym when I was on the treadmill just to make physical contact the other day. I'm not worried about the kissing on the date part. I just want to make plans for the date without letting him know what a freak I am. You should ask him, when are you guys hanging out. Let him know that youre looking forward to it
Author waiting4u Posted March 11, 2014 Author Posted March 11, 2014 How about "You like me, I like you. Let's meet every Tuesday and Saturday and have sex and dinner." Games over. 2
Assasda Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 How about "You like me, I like you. Let's meet every Tuesday and Saturday and have sex and dinner." Games over. hahahaha I dont think OPs problem is neediness, I think its Patience. Let him know whow impatient you are too
Author waiting4u Posted March 11, 2014 Author Posted March 11, 2014 if im into a girl i could care less if she sounds desperate. SERIOUSLY. You are into desperate girls? Certainly not. I thought men were more into you if they acted like they were so busy and important that you had to chase them to get their time. I think if he was texting me constantly I would think he was weird. He's fine about keeping contact - sort of - I just don't understand this "we should hang out this week." Why not say "we should hang out Thursday night" for god's sake.
Almond_Joy Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 How about "You like me, I like you. Let's meet every Tuesday and Saturday and have sex and dinner." Games over. Lmao! Mirroring my thoughts right there. I didn't make it very long on the dating scene for the same reason - I'm direct, I know what I want, and I usually want it RIGHT NOW. I say speak what you feel. Call out the dating game bs and tell him you like him and want to start dating. If that's too pushy for him he may be a little too soft for you. Some guys I did that too did back down or retreat in the face of my candidness. The ones who stuck around, I didn't have to worry about them being straight with me, because I was straight with them. Makes things a lot simpler really. Good luck 1
whirl3daway Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 here's how I look at this. within reason, this is who you are. you are really into him, you want to hang out, you want to talk, you want to see him. he's already mentioned that he wants to hang out this week - why not invite him to do something? perhaps he's putting the ball in your court. gauge his response from this. he'll either say "okay sure red-headed hotness, let's do that" or he'll say no. or he'll make some BS excuse without following up with another date, which is basically a no. either way - you don't have much to lose!
Author waiting4u Posted March 11, 2014 Author Posted March 11, 2014 How about "You like me, I like you. Let's meet every Tuesday and Saturday and have sex and dinner." Games over. I've really considered this - with a short disclaimer perhaps.
pickflicker Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 SERIOUSLY. You are into desperate girls? Certainly not. I thought men were more into you if they acted like they were so busy and important that you had to chase them to get their time. I think if he was texting me constantly I would think he was weird. He's fine about keeping contact - sort of - I just don't understand this "we should hang out this week." Why not say "we should hang out Thursday night" for god's sake. You're not going to have any fun dating if something this innocuous sends you into a tailspin. Just relax. Continue to live your life, make plans, go on other dates, and let him get back to you in his own time. Learn to relax and enjoy and act like the girl, giving him room to act like the guy, and dating will be much more fun. 1
Assasda Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 (edited) SERIOUSLY. You are into desperate girls? Certainly not. I thought men were more into you if they acted like they were so busy and important that you had to chase them to get their time. I think if he was texting me constantly I would think he was weird. He's fine about keeping contact - sort of - I just don't understand this "we should hang out this week." Why not say "we should hang out Thursday night" for god's sake. Just ask him to meet you at a certain time then, since you need to kill all the suspense and plan accordingly l Edited March 12, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
JourneyLady Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 then don't play the game. if you want to ask him out, ask him out. if he really likes you what is he going to do say no? he'll excitedly agree if he really likes you. if im into a girl i could care less if she sounds desperate. So... if she's desperate, it only matters if you're NOT into her? Because I get told I'm needy just from wanting to get one sentence from someone every day. It's a want, not a need, but if I don't get it, I think they don't like me. Because I'm really thinking needy is guy speak for "I don't see this getting serious or lifetime-ish." 2
whirl3daway Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 Because I'm really thinking needy is guy speak for "I don't see this getting serious or lifetime-ish." I think it's anyone-speak. Because truly, if you like someone, you are flattered when they want to see you. Unless you are a terrible person. 2
JourneyLady Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 BIG DEAL. God I hope this guy gets to know how neurotic you are. Just ask him to meet you at a certain time then, since you need to kill all the suspense and plan accordingly l Labeling is uncalled for. I have a question for you... Would you want a serious relationship with someone you DIDN'T want to hear from or be with often?
Author waiting4u Posted March 11, 2014 Author Posted March 11, 2014 to be perfectly blunt him saying 'we should hang out this week' suggests he may have low interest. this whole desperation thing usually bothers girls. most guys don't care especially if you're good looking. Low interest . . . fabulous. It's occurred to me that he may just want to get laid. (sigh) And good looking girls don't rule the world. There are lots of pretty girls out there that have just as much trouble dating as average looking ones. It doesn't help when they're neurotic, impatient, and generally nuts. 1
pickflicker Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 half right. she should relax. but your last paragraph is tired old crap. if she wants to go on a date with him she should ask for a specific time. but if he isn't keen to it or rejects her outright she shouldn't get all butthurt. good looking girls have lots of options. No, it's not tired old crap. It works. If she told him that she had a good time and wants to see him again, then she needs to sit back and let him ask her out again. She can't push. It never wields when you push. He'll make the time, if he wants her. But if she's pushing for a second date, he won't bother. Dating shouldn't be pushy. She should just make plans with friends or other potential dates, and leave him to get back to her. It's his call. 1
deathandtaxes Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 Don't play the game OP. His saying that he wants to hang out sometime this week is weak sauce bull****. And when I say don't play the game, I mean you should ask him out! Ask him out for a specific thing on a specific date at a specific time. You've been on one date, it's perfectly cool to ask him out. Waiting on him to ask you out is game playing, too. 2
pickflicker Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 oh really? lots of successful relationships have started when the girl made the first move. we're not in the 1950's anymore. she's not being pushy by asking him out. there's just one reason other than being stuck in the 50's that girls don't do some of the asking out. they get so butthurt when he says he's not interested. the guy in her case im not so sure he is interested. 'we'll hang out this week' usually isn't what an interested guy will say. though he may have said that in order to not sound desperate. Wow, got under you're skin, didn't I? I'm sure plenty of relationships have started that way. But I wouldn't preach this philosophy is it didn't work most of the time. Chase a man, if that's what you want to do. I'm not here to stop anyone. I'm just giving her an option that should quell her anxiety. Don't wait around for him to make plans - make your own with friends and other guys. If he wants you, he'll come running. It's not game playing, it's just respecting gender roles. I am an independent, hard working, opinionated, and I am all of those things with a man - but I let him be a man as well. I let him be the gentleman. I let him pursue. I let him follow up. Try it. It works. 1
Author waiting4u Posted March 12, 2014 Author Posted March 12, 2014 Don't play the game OP. His saying that he wants to hang out sometime this week is weak sauce bull****. And when I say don't play the game, I mean you should ask him out! Ask him out for a specific thing on a specific date at a specific time. You've been on one date, it's perfectly cool to ask him out. Waiting on him to ask you out is game playing, too. But I asked him out the first time! Granted, he seems really nervous around me, very flirtatious, and sort of stalks me at the gym, but shouldn't he be the one to follow up. I don't think I've acted "uninterested" by any stretch of the imagination. Games are one thing - but I feel like since I AM SORT OF DESPERATE when it comes to this one that I should work on hiding it more.
pickflicker Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 But I asked him out the first time! Granted, he seems really nervous around me, very flirtatious, and sort of stalks me at the gym, but shouldn't he be the one to follow up. I don't think I've acted "uninterested" by any stretch of the imagination. Games are one thing - but I feel like since I AM SORT OF DESPERATE when it comes to this one that I should work on hiding it more. You can't complain and want him to lead if you don't let him. If you want to him to set a date, you have to let him be to decide for himself. Or, you ask him out again, and be the pursuer. Can't have both...
deathandtaxes Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 But I asked him out the first time! Granted, he seems really nervous around me, very flirtatious, and sort of stalks me at the gym, but shouldn't he be the one to follow up. I don't think I've acted "uninterested" by any stretch of the imagination. Games are one thing - but I feel like since I AM SORT OF DESPERATE when it comes to this one that I should work on hiding it more. Ah, I must have missed the part where you asked him first. Doesn't change my advice. Ask him out! But his noncommittal response about maybe hanging out speaks volumes.
Chico333 Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 How about "You like me, I like you. Let's meet every Tuesday and Saturday and have sex and dinner." Games over. This basically my weekly routine with the guy I'm dating. Don't jinx it. I want more than a freaking routine! *venting*
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