MorbidFever Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 I think it's funny when an exMM pretty much tells you THEY DON'T WANT YOU AND OH HOW HAPPY THEY ARE AND LOVE WIFEY, but the day you come out in your new relationship, all hell breaks loose! I know from posting about his irrational behavior before, that he is just a control freak who although has moved on, he cannot stand the fact that I have as well. And you know what? It's funny as hell. I met someone SINGLE and fabulous and we started posting to each other on social media together, lots of fun stuff and sexual innuendos. exMM is in full meltdown. He even posted pictures of his crotch after a mutual made a banner picture of me modeling one of their designs LMAO! I can only imagine what his wife is thinking. What a loonie. Is it wrong and vindictive to parade around on social media with my new boyfriend 12 years younger than me who is far more of a successful musician than exMM? Probably, but so was he by selling the gifts I gave him and posting about it on his page. Paybacks a beotch! :mad:
krazikat Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 I think it's funny when an exMM pretty much tells you THEY DON'T WANT YOU AND OH HOW HAPPY THEY ARE AND LOVE WIFEY, but the day you come out in your new relationship, all hell breaks loose! I know from posting about his irrational behavior before, that he is just a control freak who although has moved on, he cannot stand the fact that I have as well. And you know what? It's funny as hell. I met someone SINGLE and fabulous and we started posting to each other on social media together, lots of fun stuff and sexual innuendos. exMM is in full meltdown. He even posted pictures of his crotch after a mutual made a banner picture of me modeling one of their designs LMAO! I can only imagine what his wife is thinking. What a loonie. Is it wrong and vindictive to parade around on social media with my new boyfriend 12 years younger than me who is far more of a successful musician than exMM? Probably, but so was he by selling the gifts I gave him and posting about it on his page. Paybacks a beotch! :mad: Um....classy? A crotch shot? Sexual innuendos? Was this all done shared with friends? I guess I just don't understand to whole social media mess...why air your dirty laundry like that? Just so...messy.... 12
whichwayisup Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 I think it's funny when an exMM pretty much tells you THEY DON'T WANT YOU AND OH HOW HAPPY THEY ARE AND LOVE WIFEY, but the day you come out in your new relationship, all hell breaks loose! I know from posting about his irrational behavior before, that he is just a control freak who although has moved on, he cannot stand the fact that I have as well. And you know what? It's funny as hell. I met someone SINGLE and fabulous and we started posting to each other on social media together, lots of fun stuff and sexual innuendos. exMM is in full meltdown. He even posted pictures of his crotch after a mutual made a banner picture of me modeling one of their designs LMAO! I can only imagine what his wife is thinking. What a loonie. Is it wrong and vindictive to parade around on social media with my new boyfriend 12 years younger than me who is far more of a successful musician than exMM? Probably, but so was he by selling the gifts I gave him and posting about it on his page. Paybacks a beotch! :mad: My question is, what does it matter either way? And why do you still have exMM on your social media and why haven't you blocked him? You may be 'over' him but he certainly still has an affect on you which makes you react and think of him, even if it's revenge/hateful thoughts and feelings. 4
Author MorbidFever Posted March 11, 2014 Author Posted March 11, 2014 Yes, it is shared with friends. It's not out of the norm within this group, others do it as well. I've witnessed lots of relationships form on social media. BF does know about exMM. He's not a friend on my account. I don't block him, because I refuse to have him feel he has control over me like that. I'm over it enough that I can see things and not react. Like I said in my original post, yes it's childish, but I really don't care.
MissBee Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 I think it's funny when an exMM pretty much tells you THEY DON'T WANT YOU AND OH HOW HAPPY THEY ARE AND LOVE WIFEY, but the day you come out in your new relationship, all hell breaks loose! I know from posting about his irrational behavior before, that he is just a control freak who although has moved on, he cannot stand the fact that I have as well. And you know what? It's funny as hell. I met someone SINGLE and fabulous and we started posting to each other on social media together, lots of fun stuff and sexual innuendos. exMM is in full meltdown. He even posted pictures of his crotch after a mutual made a banner picture of me modeling one of their designs LMAO! I can only imagine what his wife is thinking. What a loonie. Is it wrong and vindictive to parade around on social media with my new boyfriend 12 years younger than me who is far more of a successful musician than exMM? Probably, but so was he by selling the gifts I gave him and posting about it on his page. Paybacks a beotch! :mad: It's not really wrong but it sure seems immature and can backfire. In general I find grown adults who post stuff that is better left private online to be distasteful. I mean it's super tacky IMO when people post sexual innuendos, kissing pictures, (wtf pictures of his crotch??? Um okay I really don't even know what to say ), constant pictures or statuses about their relationship, subliminal messages, their problems etc on social media. Once it's out there you can't take it back and you've now put your life on blast for people to scrutinize and laugh at, especially, as it goes, when things stop going so well for you, it's all on front page news on FB now. It REALLY irks me and I don't do it, wouldn't date a man who did it and I roll my eyes and say serve you right for people who do it and it back fires. Sorry, but that's how I feel about that. exMM isn't loony. He is having the normal jealous and irrational feelings people have when their ex moves on. And BOTH of you are behaving like teenagers who are essentially having a tacky social media war with each other by one upping each other with overzealous posts. I would really not bother to do that, as it really comes off like you're not even into this new man but are only using him as a weapon to make exMM upset. In my own experience, when I GENUINELY moved on from an ex, I didn't care to rub my new relationship in their face. When I found happiness, I was at peace and genuinely hoped they were well too and really had no desire for revenge or to post all about everything me and the new guy were doing for their benefit, as my head space was occupied with my new relationship and I had no interest or time to care about the state of my ex's affairs. When I truly moved on I was rather indifferent. Yet, you seem so very invested and giddy about exMM's reactions to you and your posts. 8
Lady2163 Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 (edited) I think it's funny when an exMM pretty much tells you THEY DON'T WANT YOU AND OH HOW HAPPY THEY ARE AND LOVE WIFEY, but the day you come out in your new relationship, all hell breaks loose! I know from posting about his irrational behavior before, that he is just a control freak who although has moved on, he cannot stand the fact that I have as well. And you know what? It's funny as hell. I met someone SINGLE and fabulous and we started posting to each other on social media together, lots of fun stuff and sexual innuendos. exMM is in full meltdown. He even posted pictures of his crotch after a mutual made a banner picture of me modeling one of their designs LMAO! I can only imagine what his wife is thinking. What a loonie. Is it wrong and vindictive to parade around on social media with my new boyfriend 12 years younger than me who is far more of a successful musician than exMM? Probably, but so was he by selling the gifts I gave him and posting about it on his page. Paybacks a beotch! :mad: Oh for crying out loud, let her have her small victories. The best revenge is to live well. It is human nature for us to want the one who "done us wrong" to know we are in a better place and more successful/happy without them than with them. Morbid - where is becomes a problem is if you start looking for ways to get under his skin. If you intentionally start staging picture after picture just so you can post them with the thought of how XMM will react. 10 weeks ago or so, my single friend and her her single boyfriend ended things. She pushed him too hard and tried to control him. He balked and ended things. I've talked to him a couple of times, he had wanted to end things back in October, so he fell out of love with her three months prior to the actual breakup. He's in a lot different place in the breakup than she is. I tell you that backstory, because every day she makes multiple posts that should get his attention. Early in the breakup she shared a picture/quote where the gist was "the best of romances deserve second chances" or something like that...anyway, it was so very obvious it was directed at him. I made some smart aleck comment about how it would be sweeter if the quote didn't have the error of Your instead of You're, (just an example) she called me screaming how I ruined her post. She was over the top angry. Yeah. That may not be healthy. The kicker to all this is he doesn't even see her posts. He set his preferences to not see her stuff in her news feed. Plus. She is almost 50 and doing this stuff. So, maturity and wisdom go out the window when feelings are hurt. So enjoy moment of sweet revenge...maybe even have a few more. But enjoy that new man in your life and yourself even more. Good on ya... Edited March 11, 2014 by Lady2163 4
whichwayisup Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 Yes, it is shared with friends. It's not out of the norm within this group, others do it as well. I've witnessed lots of relationships form on social media. BF does know about exMM. He's not a friend on my account. I don't block him, because I refuse to have him feel he has control over me like that. I'm over it enough that I can see things and not react. Like I said in my original post, yes it's childish, but I really don't care. out of respect for your current boyfriend, you should block your exMM. I'm sure if the situation was reversed you wouldn't enjoy knowing your bf's ex was stalking him online and not taking all measures to make his accounts private, even if that means blocking the ex. Fact is, you may be really over him but he is still a presence in your life, albeit online.
GoreSP Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 Is it wrong and vindictive to parade around on social media with my new boyfriend 12 years younger than me who is far more of a successful musician than exMM? Probably, but so was he by selling the gifts I gave him and posting about it on his page. Paybacks a beotch! :mad: That's mature... Assuming your boyfriend is of legal age (18) that makes you at least 30...if not more. 3
sunburned Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 This post from the OP is one of the most immature I've seen. It only makes it all the more clear you are not over him. I'm sorry you are still hurting. The opposite of love is not hate. It's indifference, which you clearly haven't reached. I just assumed you were a young xOW of 23ish, but as Gore points out, you'd have to be at least 30 for your BF to be legal. I do understand your desire for a little slice of revenge, but one classy photo of you and your BF on the social media site of your choice would have done the trick. 5
Lady2163 Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 This post from the OP is one of the most immature I've seen.. If this is one of the most immature things youve seen, you need to check out some other forums on this site. Dating, for one. 1
Pastypop Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 A crotch shot on social media? Ewww! Does the wife know she's married to Mr. Creepy Old Dude? So disgusting. No manners or class!!
gettingstronger Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 Ouch! Sounds like you are using your current boyfriend to play out some sort of revenge fantasy against the mm. That's not fair to him. Think and stop before you blow a good thing with a new guy. 3
MissBee Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 (edited) Ouch! Sounds like you are using your current boyfriend to play out some sort of revenge fantasy against the mm. That's not fair to him. Think and stop before you blow a good thing with a new guy. Ditto. If I was dating a man who wanted to put pics of me and him online and make comments in some bizarre social media war with his exMW....I would be out of there so fast! I have zero interest in dating anyone whose ex still has that big of an effect on their life frankly. Maybe you're not quite ready for a new relationship Morbid, hence your desire and joy in this petty social media "feud" with exMM? I get this behavior when it's all fresh and you're still not over the person but for the life of me cannot fathom having a new man in my life and I'm STILL posting subliminal messages to my ex and getting caught up in a "war" and posting about him. I know I'm over it when I actually feel completely indifferent or mostly indifferent and am too busy truly being in my new R to even look at my ex's social media. OTOH I realize when a guy is a rebound/I'm not quite ready when instead of being fully engaged I still manage to want to one up my ex or care any at all about what he thinks. The reason you can't delete him is also silly IMO and seems like you're still attached in some way, as frankly, if you have a new man, who gives a flying fig if exMM thinks he has "power" over you?? If he doesn't then he can think whatever he likes, it won't change your life. But reality based on this thread is: HE DOES have power over your head space from the fact that you worry about whether or not he will think he has power over you, from the fact you believe you're in a social media war with him and the fact you're posting here about him and this drama. In actuality, deleting him is the ONE powerful thing you can REALLY do to prove he doesn't, by deleting him and stepping away from this silly war you prove you don't care. Choosing not to play is the most powerful move you have and actually moving on. NOT simply pretending you are moved on and making a big public show of it. Don't you see how contradictory it is? It makes no sense to be playing social media games with exMM while saying he has no power over you when what you're doing is for HIS benefit. Actually deleting someone and moving on with no thought to what they think of it is genuinely moving on, not looking at their social media pages and engaging in a war with them where you're posting tit for tat and pretending you don't care....pretending not to care and truly not caring look very different. Edited March 11, 2014 by MissBee 2
Author MorbidFever Posted March 11, 2014 Author Posted March 11, 2014 To those saying it's immature etc, I know that, in case you missed me admitting as such. It's up there ^^. To the others giving me words of wisdom and advice, I really do appreciate it. I know I shouldn't be doing it and I have moved on, it wasn't until he started his garbage again and it started with him going after one of BF's bandmates. It WAS a dig at the entire group. I posted before in the past how he has thrown everyone under the bus that I have associated with in person. He is burning all bridges that connect to me. I know it's not nice for me to continue to fuel the fire, but F it! You have no idea the pain that I felt when I saw my gifts online for sale. It was more painful than this entire experience. He deserves every bit of it. To the person who said he is a creepy old guy. That is a stereotype. The exMM is 38. Of course his wife knows, she's on his page. BF does know as we have laughed about it. He was the one that started it and I KNEW what he was doing. I think it was his own way of giving exMM the finger for the garbage he was saying. Everyone gets over things in their own way. I was willing to be friends, and even posted here looking for advice if it would be possible in the future. I guess this is my closure, completely destroying any future communication or possible friendship. I was on the high road for 5 months. I'm sick of sitting back and people feeling sorry for me.
Taramere Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 To those saying it's immature etc, I know that, in case you missed me admitting as such. It's up there ^^. To the others giving me words of wisdom and advice, I really do appreciate it. I know I shouldn't be doing it and I have moved on I think it's understandable that you wanted to give him the metaphorical middle finger, but it's also the sort of behaviour that you're best resisting from indulging in. Hopefully things will pan out well with the new boyfriend, but if they didn't then you would probably regret very strongly having paraded the relationship around on Facebook. Pride does often come before a fall, and all that. Anyway, it's good to hear that having indulged yourself in the temptation to do a bit of Facebook posturing with the new bf, you've moved on from it and will maybe exercise a bit of restraint next time you feel like doing something similar. 2
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