Takoyakiz Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 (edited) Hey everyone, I'm interested in a girl I met a month back. We have gone on two dates. I made it extremely clear that they are dates by even saying "this is a date." Originally I felt pretty confident that she was interested in me. She even invited herself over on the second date so I can cook her dinner. Thought this was a clear indication that she was interested in me and I could go in for a kiss or something. Problem was that she gave me mixed signals that night. As I tried to get closer to her, she would move away (at least it felt like it). That night ended up a complete DUD! All I got was a hug, a hug I initiated. Gave her valentines chocolate and flowers too that night. I haven't had an actual date with her since, but I saw her couple nights ago to have desert. Still text occasionally as she still seems responsive to me. However, ever since I met her, she never asks questions about me, which would normally be a sign of disinterest. Basically, I'm tired of playing the guessing game. Wondering if I should just ask if she is interested in me or any other suggestions? Thanks! Edited March 11, 2014 by Takoyakiz
HappyLove Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 Seems like she's not all that into you. You could ask and then move on or just move on. I think you've made it very clear you are interested. I wouldn't waste much more time. 1
Gaeta Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 Basically, I'm tired of playing the guessing game. Wondering if I should just ask if she is interested in me or any other suggestions?Thanks! If you are asking yourself *is she interested at all* then that only is your cue she is not interested. As per what you're describing, no I would say she is not interested. If you need a full blown rejection to find closure on that one, yes ask her.
TXGuy Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 It sounds like she is using you as a time filler. She will spend time with you if she has nothing better to do and you are willing to provision for her (cook her dinner, buy her dinner, pay for movies, etc.). Some women will keep you around indefinitely if you are willing to agree to those terms. I would move on. 1
Michael91 Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 Wondering if I should just ask if she is interested in me or any other suggestions? Call her up on Wednesday or before and ask her for a date Friday night. Most likely, if she is interested, she will accept. If she says is busy or has made plans then say, What about Saturday? If she still makes an excuse, she is not interested. That only takes a few minutes without inconveniencing her and knowing is far better than wondering.
someonespecial Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 (edited) Just ask her Edited March 11, 2014 by someonespecial deleted-wrong post 1
Author Takoyakiz Posted March 11, 2014 Author Posted March 11, 2014 It sounds like she is using you as a time filler. She will spend time with you if she has nothing better to do and you are willing to provision for her (cook her dinner, buy her dinner, pay for movies, etc.). Some women will keep you around indefinitely if you are willing to agree to those terms. I would move on. I was thinking this too. Might be just looking to be make new friends and not anything else. She's pretty good about paying for her own things. She specifically said "I don't like owing friends money." This was another sign. If you are asking yourself *is she interested at all* then that only is your cue she is not interested. As per what you're describing, no I would say she is not interested. If you need a full blown rejection to find closure on that one, yes ask her. You made a good point, I might really need that full blown rejection to show that I am indeed not someone she is interested in. I guess if I don't, I'll still have some sort of lingering hope. Call her up on Wednesday or before and ask her for a date Friday night. Most likely, if she is interested, she will accept. If she says is busy or has made plans then say, What about Saturday? If she still makes an excuse, she is not interested. That only takes a few minutes without inconveniencing her and knowing is far better than wondering. She will say yes. She has never declined an offer to go out with me, in fact I had to bail out a couple time since I got caught up with stuff. I originally wanted to ask her out once more - make it 3 dates. Was thinking about if I should just ask her if she is interested in me then (assuming shes has not made a move).
TXGuy Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 I was thinking this too. Might be just looking to be make new friends and not anything else. She's pretty good about paying for her own things. She specifically said "I don't like owing friends money." This was another sign. Well, she made it pretty clear that you are just friends. She also has the class to pay her own way so you don't get the wrong idea (that she is interested in you). I think this one is pretty clear. If you push for more, you might strain the friendship.
Assasda Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 It seems like you are just friends, as in, youre like her Gay Bestfriend, as in you have no romantic value to her whatsoever. -I think you can change this, it may seem counter-productive, but I think you can. - Try having fun with her, and stop trying to romance her. Just have fun, and stop putting all the pressure on her with the "This is a date" bullcrap, then she might turn around. - Also, see other women - But stop being so....kinda slimey, like you want something from her. Just have fun with her and go with the flow
Author Takoyakiz Posted March 12, 2014 Author Posted March 12, 2014 It seems like you are just friends, as in, youre like her Gay Bestfriend, as in you have no romantic value to her whatsoever. -I think you can change this, it may seem counter-productive, but I think you can. - Try having fun with her, and stop trying to romance her. Just have fun, and stop putting all the pressure on her with the "This is a date" bullcrap, then she might turn around. - Also, see other women - But stop being so....kinda slimey, like you want something from her. Just have fun with her and go with the flow Next level after friend zone, gay zone haha. Thanks for the suggestions though. I definitely hope I am not coming off as too slimy when I go out with her. I always thought that girls only go out with people if they show some sort of interest. Thus, every time I ask her out on a date it indicated that she was interested in me. I've only known her for about a month, it be odd if she somehow linked me as her new best friend. What is your opinion on me asking if she is interested in me?
Assasda Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 Next level after friend zone, gay zone haha. Thanks for the suggestions though. I definitely hope I am not coming off as too slimy when I go out with her. I always thought that girls only go out with people if they show some sort of interest. Thus, every time I ask her out on a date it indicated that she was interested in me. I've only known her for about a month, it be odd if she somehow linked me as her new best friend. What is your opinion on me asking if she is interested in me? If you ask that question, it will be the death of your relationship. Just do what I said, and stop asking questions, and you will be fine.
lakerman34 Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 Yeah, I don't think she's too into you. Sorry, man. Shoulda poured some wine during that dinner and just handed a glass to her. Not even ask "do you want some wine?" Pour her a NICE tall glass. It wouldn't be enough to make her do something she'd regret, but it'd be enough to give you some Liquid Courage, and get her to be a bit more honest and upfront with you. Has she ever called you "friend" or spoke about other guys to you? I'd say do one more romantic date with her. Make sure you say, "hey, I really like x. I figured you'd come with me and we call it a date." If you're going to do the restaurant thing, make sure she sits down FIRST so you can sit next to her instead of across for her -- this is crucial. Good luck, and let us know. If you're "just a friend," just cut her out, don't make a big deal of it, and move on.
Author Takoyakiz Posted March 13, 2014 Author Posted March 13, 2014 Yeah, I don't think she's too into you. Sorry, man. Shoulda poured some wine during that dinner and just handed a glass to her. Not even ask "do you want some wine?" Pour her a NICE tall glass. It wouldn't be enough to make her do something she'd regret, but it'd be enough to give you some Liquid Courage, and get her to be a bit more honest and upfront with you. Has she ever called you "friend" or spoke about other guys to you? I'd say do one more romantic date with her. Make sure you say, "hey, I really like x. I figured you'd come with me and we call it a date." If you're going to do the restaurant thing, make sure she sits down FIRST so you can sit next to her instead of across for her -- this is crucial. Good luck, and let us know. If you're "just a friend," just cut her out, don't make a big deal of it, and move on. Wine would have been nice, too bad she isn't big on drinking. There was only one time when she mentioned other guys - her ex boyfriends, but that was like a 5 minute conversation and was never touched upon again (don't need to know). She has called me "friend." One time she mentioned that she doesn't like owing friends money so couple days later she found me at school and paid back her portion of the evening. Another time was when we were having desert. She said that her older female cousin wanted to see me as the cousin likes to meet all her guy friends. (I did end up saying hi to her cousin as i dropped her off). I think due to her being less westernized - an international student - i'm kinda thrown off. Certain "tells" westernized girls normally have may not be signs for her. Maybe she just super overly friendly too and is in need to have more friends, haha. Thanks for the suggestions regarding dinner though. I'll keep that in mind. The bright side with all of this is that I'm willing to "lose" my friendship with her. I'm lucky that she is a relatively new acquaintance and not a long-term friend.
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