Nony101 Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 What do you guys think? I've been dating my gf for like 11 months now. Things have gotten better from what I've posted on here before. At the beginning of our relationship, we would have no trouble pounding out these long drawn out text conversations every morning (me usually before I would get things started at work, and then she would reply later in the day after she woke up). I noticed that her responses started getting shorter, and the effort didn't really match mine. So, I dialed it back quite a bit and made them much shorter so she wouldn't feel obligated to match my short novels. Which brings us to today. Lately, even with the shorter good morning text messages, it doesn't seem like she's really all that engaged in the response. She pretty much just parrots back what I write, so basically it's like I've written the response back to me if that makes any sense. The last thing I want to do is burden her and make her feel obligated to respond. Maybe I don't text her during the day anymore? It might improve our quality time together in the evenings (seems like she just turns on the tv, I make dinner, she eats, I cuddle her, ignoring me while she plays Candy Crush on her damn phone).
J21 Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 Just ask her what her texting preference is and talk about it. Let her know how u feel( like its just a mirroring) and see what she says. She could be into but just not know what to write back. At 11 months this conversation shouldn't be too hard.
BikerAccnt Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 It's also possible that at 11 months she feels more comfortable in the relationship and doesn't need to talk to you all the time. I know for me, I don't really have a need to communicate with someone every day, even if I'm dating them regularly. I like to, but I don't need to. I mean, after 11 months, do you really need to text the details of your daily life back and forth?
ktya Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 Simple. Text her good morning and dont text her back for the rest of the day except to answer a text that she initiates (not an answer to one of yours). She cant get mad (your not ignoring) and if she asks about it just bring up the conversation described above. If she doesnt then roll like that for a while.
d0nnivain Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 Oh for heaven's sake. At 11 months interact with the woman. Stop hiding behind technology & have an interpersonal relationship. Use the actual phone. Call her. Save the texts for "pick up milk" & "I'm running late." If the text is longer than a tweet call. Voice is so much more personal. 3
Author Nony101 Posted March 11, 2014 Author Posted March 11, 2014 Thank you for the responses, I really appreciate the help. It's not so much that we're texting about our day, just a general good morning, you mean the world to me, I love you, etc... Her love language is words of affirmation, so I like to write messages that cater to that. This is something I like to do, but if she dreads it, then I can quit doing it. Honestly, I could probably afford to take a step back and let her do more for our relationship. It feels like I'm a little more invested in our relationship than she is. I feel like I do a lot to make sure she's content and happy, but my needs/desires are fairly low priority.
mammasita Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 Thank you for the responses, I really appreciate the help. It's not so much that we're texting about our day, just a general good morning, you mean the world to me, I love you, etc... Her love language is words of affirmation, so I like to write messages that cater to that. This is something I like to do, but if she dreads it, then I can quit doing it. Honestly, I could probably afford to take a step back and let her do more for our relationship. It feels like I'm a little more invested in our relationship than she is. I feel like I do a lot to make sure she's content and happy, but my needs/desires are fairly low priority. I just took a peek at your past threads and unfortunately I don't get a good feeling about her investment in your relationship. You really DO need to let her do more, it seems like she walks all over you. Are you still engaged?
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