cjp26698 Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 I am a 24 male who was in a relationship from the age of 17 to 24 with someone I met at work. We lived together for 3.5 years and had an imperfect relationship. I had done things to betray her trust and I was not the best boyfriend. I never cheated on her or did anything but getting together so young created a lot of complications with me. Had a severe case of the grass is greener syndrome and also suffered from a ton of depression and anxiety. Never really had a ton of good relationships with people or other girlfriends before her so I did not know how to be the best lover and companion to her. She was great and did all the superficial things that everyone relates with love like doing my laundry and showering me with gifts. I followed her to college and we made it all the way through. About six months ago we moved back to our hometown and my life was just ****ty. Working at a minimum wage job and having to face my peers everyday and being humiliated by it. So in an attempt to better my life and better her's I moved to CA to go to EMT school. At first it was tough but we stayed in contact and I learned and matured so much. Then one day when she got the news that she was not accepted into any pharmacy schools everything fell apart. She began to act like I have never seen her. So depressed and down and she stopped communicating with me and stopped loving me basically. At first I dealt with it great and supported her. But then she began to say things like, "I love you I just want to be alone and need to figure out my life." Also she blamed our lack of communication on her heavy work schedule. I was receiving nothing but one word texts and no phone calls. Finally I was at my last straw and ended it with her because she was incapable of being in a relationship. I ended it for many reasons, one for selfish reasons because I wasn't getting the companionship and respect. "Also she would say things like idk if I can forgive you for the things you have done." The only response she had was, "I'am sorry it has come to this." She was crying but there was no real remorse or attempt to save our relationship or even say anything at all. Honestly all I really would need was a few attempts to communicate every few days and some affection every once in awhile. At least act like you are still involved and still hold me dear to your heart. I am just posting this to hear other people's opinions and perspectives on this. It always helps to talk to someone and relate to other people. I am learning a lot and growing from this. What would you have done in this situation? I feel betrayed, guilty, regretful, and hopeful all at the same time. Once I move back I have visions of getting back together but I am trying to get rid of them because I know they probably won't work out. She always used to judge and make fun of girls who are acting like she is now. She used to always bring me down and judge me and tell me how ****ty of a person I was and destroyed her life. She always seemed so sure and destroyed my self esteem and guilt tripped me because of my lack of maturity and relationship skills. I feel so stupid for thinking she was different and really wanted to be with me. I feel so betrayed and ruined by her. I gave her the best years of my life and let her destroy my self esteem. She is being such a hypocrite.
Woodox Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 Sorry this has happened. To be honest from what you've said you don't seem to have positive memories or feelings about this girl. Sure you love her but it seems like you know this girl isn't good for you, she isn't gonna help you create the life you want to live. So why talk about getting her back? A fresh break up will bring those thoughts on but you need to accept them for what they are and look at it as logically as possible. Take the time you now have to create the person you want to be and mourn the end of this relationship, take the lessons and the experience and use them for the next person that comes along. The next one could very well be the one that helps you to be the best that you can, that outcome is possible but i don't see that same outcome if you go back to this girl going by what you've said. Don't blame yourself for how you were in the relationship, take responsibility and learn from it, but don't torture yourself with regret because you can't change it now only learn and do better next time, that's life. One quote this reminds me of, "There are no mistakes, only lessons to be learnt." Good luck. 2
Kevin_D Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 Finally I was at my last straw and ended it with her because she was incapable of being in a relationship. I ended it for many reasons, one for selfish reasons because I wasn't getting the companionship and respect. "Also she would say things like idk if I can forgive you for the things you have done." The only response she had was, "I'am sorry it has come to this." She dumped you. She just didn't have the guts to say it. My ex would constantly pick fights and then say "We can go on. You're angry with me all the time". It's easier for them that way. The truth, of course, in 99% of the these cases, is that they found somebody else that they want to sleep with. Depressions can often trigger these things. She becomes unhappy with her life. Then some new dude shows up and re-ignites the spark and she makes the conclusion that it must be her boyfriend who is causing her all the pain. So she ends it. And at first it's a relief. She's madly in love and will probably feel that way for several months and won't even think of her ex.
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