greenman77 Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 Hi guys. The reason I am posting this today is because I want to see what you guys think because I don't know what to do. About a week ago I met this girl in one of my classes in college. She and I decided to start a study group for the class. This past weekend we spent a lot of time together studying just us two. We studied for about 3-5 hours every day on Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday and we are going to continue studying together like this. So far we have gotten along great, there are never awkward moments of silence. We always find something to talk about. On the first day that we got together to study, we met at a coffee shop and studied there for about 2 and a half hours and then spent the other half an hour just talking getting to know each other. On the next two days she decided that we should study in her house because the coffee shop was way too noisy. On both times that we studied at her place we had lunch together. We took a study break, went out to get some take out and bring back to her place. On the fourth day that we studied together we met in the college library and studied there for a few hours and then went to take the test we were studying for. I feel like I don't really need the study group to get a good grade in this class but I want to stay in it because of her. She seems to struggle with the class and I like being around her. She told me that this is a subject she always struggles with and I want to help her get a good grade and pass the class. An important thing that I don't know yet is whether she has a boyfriend or not. I think she doesn't because in all the hours that we have spent studying together and talking, there has been no mention of a boyfriend or even the hint of one. So here is my dilemma, I like this girl and I would like to ask her out. The reason why I am posting this thread here is because I feel like if I ask her out and she says that she's not interested, then I would think that it would be way too awkward to keep studying together and we simply would stop. I don't want that to happen because even though I don't really need the study group, she does (she told me) and I don't want her to fail the class. So I'm not sure if I should take a chance and ask her out now or wait until the semester ends and ask her out then but it may be too late then? What do you guys think? Thanks in advanced.
Hello_is_it_me Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 I say go for it. If you like her as much as you seem you do, why waste this opportunity? I'm older now and more self-confident than the younger me and some of my little regrets from yesteryear were girls from class that I was wanting to ask out but never had the guts to (I would always make up an excuse in my head of why not to lol). Anyways, DO IT. You have much to gain and little to lose
Author greenman77 Posted March 11, 2014 Author Posted March 11, 2014 (edited) I say go for it. If you like her as much as you seem you do, why waste this opportunity? I'm older now and more self-confident than the younger me and some of my little regrets from yesteryear were girls from class that I was wanting to ask out but never had the guts to (I would always make up an excuse in my head of why not to lol). Anyways, DO IT. You have much to gain and little to lose I guess you could say that me posting this thread is me trying to find excuses not ask her out haha. I don't have a lot of experience with dating and honestly I'm just terrified of asking her out. Let's say I sack up and ask her and she were to say yes, since we know each other a little bit by now (it's not like we have never spoken to each other before), what kind of first date would be a good idea? Going out to dinner and a movie? Edited March 11, 2014 by greenman77
Hello_is_it_me Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 I guess you could say that me posting this thread is me trying to find excuses not ask her out haha. I don't have a lot of experience with dating and honestly I'm just terrified of asking her out. Let's say I sack up and ask her and she were to say yes, since we know each other a little bit by now (it's not like we have never spoken to each other before), what kind of first date would be a good idea? Going out to dinner and a movie? Yeah that would be fine. Coffee is good too. Something carefree like tennis... Really, try to find out what she's into and plan accordingly. You probably have a decent read on what she likes since you've been around her a bit in studying. Go for something that lets her have fun and piques her interest.
Author greenman77 Posted March 11, 2014 Author Posted March 11, 2014 Yeah that would be fine. Coffee is good too. Something carefree like tennis... Really, try to find out what she's into and plan accordingly. You probably have a decent read on what she likes since you've been around her a bit in studying. Go for something that lets her have fun and piques her interest. Do you think I should ask her out by calling her or maybe towards the end of one of our study sessions? What do you think would be better?
Hello_is_it_me Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 Do you think I should ask her out by calling her or maybe towards the end of one of our study sessions? What do you think would be better? face to face at the end of a study sesh would be best and be smiling and confident when you do it.
somedude81 Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 Here's a little conversation path to find out if she's single. You: "What do you like to do for fun?" Her: "I do XYZ." You: "Oh cool, do you do that with your boyfriend?" The rest is up to you.
Assasda Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 Here's a little conversation path to find out if she's single. You: "What do you like to do for fun?" Her: "I do XYZ." You: "Oh cool, do you do that with your boyfriend?" The rest is up to you. ^ Do not do this. Ask her what her name is, then just ask her if she wants to have a drink. If drinks are out, go to some event, see a movie
Author greenman77 Posted March 11, 2014 Author Posted March 11, 2014 face to face at the end of a study sesh would be best and be smiling and confident when you do it. Yeah I agree.
somedude81 Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 ^ Do not do this. Ask her what her name is, then just ask her if she wants to have a drink. If drinks are out, go to some event, see a movie And what is wrong with what I said?
Assasda Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 Here's a little conversation path to find out if she's single. You: "What do you like to do for fun?" Her: "I do XYZ." You: "Oh cool, do you do that with your boyfriend?" The rest is up to you. Its creepy. Its like you just want to get to know if she has a boyfriend. hahahaha, you dont really care, what she does for fun. Women can smell this from a mile away, and even if she doesnt have a boyfriend, she'll know that your approach was just disingenuous.
Author greenman77 Posted March 11, 2014 Author Posted March 11, 2014 Here's a little conversation path to find out if she's single. You: "What do you like to do for fun?" Her: "I do XYZ." You: "Oh cool, do you do that with your boyfriend?" The rest is up to you. I want to know if she has a boyfriend before I do anything but I think I'd rather be more subtle than that. Any suggestions?
Assasda Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 I want to know if she has a boyfriend before I do anything but I think I'd rather be more subtle than that. Any suggestions? Dude, dont ask her anything about any boyfriend. Why even concern yourself about that. Leave it for her to tell you, if she wants to tell you. Just ask her to go out, it sends a message that, even if you do have a boyfirend, I'd just like to get to know you. You'll be more respected in the end
slizl Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 Just ask her if she has a boyfriend. Pretty simple actually.
somedude81 Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 Its creepy. Its like you just want to get to know if she has a boyfriend. hahahaha, you dont really care, what she does for fun. Women can smell this from a mile away, and even if she doesnt have a boyfriend, she'll know that your approach was just disingenuous. I doubt it. The approach is much more subtle than strait up asking if she has a boyfriend. It's all about how you pull it off. You: What do you do for fun? Her: I like to play tennis you: Tennis is fun it's a great work out Her: Yeah it's great I really enjoy it. You: Cool. Do you play with you boyfriend? It can get pretty competitive. If she has a boyfriend, there is a 99% chance that she confirm it. If she says "Yes we play together" or "No, he doesn't play," you have your answer. If she answers, "I play with my friends" it doesn't explicitly mean that she is single but there is obviously a much better chance of her being single than if she did say she has a boyfriend. Also because the way you asked was natural and flowed with the conversation she is far less likely to lie and say if she has a boyfriend.
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