Just Visiting Posted January 25, 2005 Posted January 25, 2005 Hi everyone.....I just need to vent, and would appreciate any comments from ppl who have experienced the same issues that I am facing now. I have been with my current bf going on three months. We have known each other for about a year before becoming an official couple. From the get-go, everything has been great. Both from the same family-type and cultural background. Share the same interests and values. He has a five year old son from a previous relationship. His son and I get along very very well which is icing on the cake. Lately, I have been feeling stressed, sad, depressed, and lonely. My bf has been going through some personal issues that are affecting our relationship. First it was his ex trying to be a b*tch in regards to their son. Okay, got through that. Next, I find porn in his vcr and computer which made me insecure about our sexual relationship. Okay, discussed it with him and decided to take a proactive approach rather than a reactive....done that. Next, he does contract work and payments haven't been coming in. So his bills have been pilling up and it made him very down and depressed. We are still trying to get through this and see some relief later this week. *whew* Okay, things are looking up. Things have been tense between us while trying to sort the finances out. So I started thinking that our relationship will improve. NOW, he told me last night that he has become addicted to tylenol with codeine (T1s I think is what they are called). And that he wants to go away for a month to get clean. Plus he wants me and his son to come spend time with him while he is in recovery. To be honest, I knew something wasn't right when I saw the empty pill bottles in the cupboards. I am glad he talked about it before I brought it up. When he was telling me all of this....all I can think was "oh god, what next?". I couldn't sleep afterwards and got up to cry in the bathroom. I have thought of leaving the situation a couple times. My bf said that he knew it was something I was thinking. He talked for awhile last night about what was going on with him. And said that he sees how much he has put on me, and that I have been very caring and supportive despite his emotional distance. I know he doesn't want me to leave, and that he loves me. Apparently I have been the first person ever to step up and speak when something wasn't quite right with him. Anyway, I am not ready to cop out. At times it is sooo hard though. I miss the relaxed atmosphere. There are times when I don't know how to act around him. I have been the main affection initiator lately. If I was in his shoes, I would feel worse if my bf left me while going through some personal issues. It would make me wonder if his words of love were really just words. So I am going to show my love by supporting his recovery. I did tell him that I was scared and worried. It has been, and going to be hard. Especially when he is gone to get clean. Thanks for letting me vent. I am feeling very overwhelmed right now and wonder what is in store for our future.
Bronzepen Posted January 25, 2005 Posted January 25, 2005 ((((((((((((((Big hug)))))))))))))))) It'a OK to feel the way you do. Sometimes things do get overwhelming in our lives but that is the stuff that makes us a stronger and better person. That fact that your BF recognizes he has a problem and want's to deal with it, speaks volumes about his character. The fact that you are there for him, in spite of all the pressure your feeling, speaks volumes about your character. Times are tough or may look tough but so far you have overcome any problems that have arisen before. This time will be no diffrent. Hang in there, it's ok to feel down but don't stay down. You'll get through this and you know it.
Author Just Visiting Posted January 25, 2005 Author Posted January 25, 2005 Wow...thanks Bronzepen. Your words are very encouraging. Has anyone been through a similiar situation?
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