StanMusial Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 You seem like a fish out of water, and the water is a little creek running through the corner of MT. What are you going to do with all that education when you finish school? Head East young man.
Michael91 Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 It really is to be honest. I am 28 year old, I am tall, skinny, wear glasses, and I'm a geek/nerd. I like science fiction, DOctor Who, and stuff like that. I am smart, working on my Masters degree right now. Yet most women, even my own age, don't want to date guys like me. In my area, Bozeman Montana, we have a big outdoor like culture. But most women just seem to be either super into outdoors, and if they aren't, they still prefer the cowboy wannabe types around here who flock to the town, pretend they are actual cowboys, and treat women like ****. It is easy to date if you are realistic. My guess is that either you are attempting to date pretty girls out of your league or else you lack confidence and are choosing women with just a high school education because you think college girls of equal looks are more desirable and less available. As a geek, you have no chance of competing with tall, dark, handsome, athletic and smart guys that most every girl wants. Second, you need to seek college educated girls. A pretty waitress is not your type because, unless she has been married and divorced with children and realizes the importance of a guy with a higher income, she is going to be more comfortable with some construction worker or a plumbers helper. However, girls with college degrees want college educated men and there are 3 women for ever two men graduating with college degrees. Regardless, you must be realistic because, if they can date more attractive college or successful men, they will not accept you. I know that all women claim that personality is more important than looks and they may even believe it. However, that is false. Go to any club or place when singles go to meet and observe. You will see that both men and women act as if looks is the only thing.
Author collegeguy_24 Posted March 10, 2014 Author Posted March 10, 2014 You seem like a fish out of water, and the water is a little creek running through the corner of MT. What are you going to do with all that education when you finish school? Head East young man. My classes are online, so that I can work full time and pay for my school as I go. I've been told once I am done with my Masters, I can get teaching jobs for online classes, and some colleges are willing looking to hire people in my specific field with just a Masters for in classroom teaching. So that will work in my favor. I don't mumble, so thats not a problem for me either.
Author collegeguy_24 Posted March 10, 2014 Author Posted March 10, 2014 It is easy to date if you are realistic. My guess is that either you are attempting to date pretty girls out of your league or else you lack confidence and are choosing women with just a high school education because you think college girls of equal looks are more desirable and less available. As a geek, you have no chance of competing with tall, dark, handsome, athletic and smart guys that most every girl wants. Second, you need to seek college educated girls. A pretty waitress is not your type because, unless she has been married and divorced with children and realizes the importance of a guy with a higher income, she is going to be more comfortable with some construction worker or a plumbers helper. However, girls with college degrees want college educated men and there are 3 women for ever two men graduating with college degrees. Regardless, you must be realistic because, if they can date more attractive college or successful men, they will not accept you. I know that all women claim that personality is more important than looks and they may even believe it. However, that is false. Go to any club or place when singles go to meet and observe. You will see that both men and women act as if looks is the only thing. For online dating, I don't just go for the pretty ones, I go for the highest match percentage, and for women who have similar interests. I've dated some women that were unattractive, but I liked them because we had similar interests and enjoyed each others company, at the time. To me looks aren't everything, I look for more then that.
Author collegeguy_24 Posted March 10, 2014 Author Posted March 10, 2014 What do you message? So many people are boring and say, "Hey" That's stupid and boring, similar to real life.. You don't walk up to a girl and just say, "Hey" she'll just say "Hey" back. That's boring. Nobody wants boring, you could be geeky and nerdy and exciting and fun also, just don't be boring. Smart is attractive but you can't just be smart and nerdy, you still need the other attractive traits girls go crazy over that the "jerks" have. You don't have to be a jerk to get women but I see so many guys thinking they'll get anywhere because they're nice and just don't take action. I don't just say hey, I actually say Hi, and I ask about their interests, such as what movies they like. If they mention they like hiking, I bring that up to. I actually try to start a conversation because thats how you get to know people. Sadly, very few if no women respond.
Stay Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 It is easy to date if you are realistic. My guess is that either you are attempting to date pretty girls out of your league or else you lack confidence and are choosing women with just a high school education because you think college girls of equal looks are more desirable and less available. As a geek, you have no chance of competing with tall, dark, handsome, athletic and smart guys that most every girl wants. Second, you need to seek college educated girls. A pretty waitress is not your type because, unless she has been married and divorced with children and realizes the importance of a guy with a higher income, she is going to be more comfortable with some construction worker or a plumbers helper. However, girls with college degrees want college educated men and there are 3 women for ever two men graduating with college degrees. Regardless, you must be realistic because, if they can date more attractive college or successful men, they will not accept you. I know that all women claim that personality is more important than looks and they may even believe it. However, that is false. Go to any club or place when singles go to meet and observe. You will see that both men and women act as if looks is the only thing. I gotta fix you here, clubs are full of people who are only after looks. Other places, you can definitely get a girl with personality. As long as you're decent looking and clean you can surely date out of your league. For example a 6 guy with a 9 girl, it's very possible if you have a really good personality. Even in the club if you know how to handle yourself you'll get attractive girls easily, it's all about fun in the club instead of personality.
Stay Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 I don't just say hey, I actually say Hi, and I ask about their interests, such as what movies they like. If they mention they like hiking, I bring that up to. I actually try to start a conversation because thats how you get to know people. Sadly, very few if no women respond. Although it may work for some, being witty is also better. If you can make a girl laugh through text instead of interview like questions it's way better since it's difficult to make someone laugh through text with the initial contact. You'll stand out incredibly if you can do that.
Keenly Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 Ignore online dating completely and adapt to being alone. I'm serious. Its not actually that bad. You'll be content and happy with yourself and the ladies will see that. Its very attractive for a man to be content and confident in his own skin. The time will go by faster because you are content, and eventually you'll cross paths with the right person.
Stay Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 Ignore online dating completely and adapt to being alone. I'm serious. Its not actually that bad. You'll be content and happy with yourself and the ladies will see that. Its very attractive for a man to be content and confident in his own skin. The time will go by faster because you are content, and eventually you'll cross paths with the right person. I agree with you but I wouldn't necessarily say kill all opportunities and be alone. You can't just be alone and hope someone will walk into your life. You gotta put yourself out there also so although you're somewhat right I'd have to disagree with completely isolating yourself. Still date and have fun but don't depend on it is the main point.
Keenly Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 I agree with you but I wouldn't necessarily say kill all opportunities and be alone. You can't just be alone and hope someone will walk into your life. You gotta put yourself out there also so although you're somewhat right I'd have to disagree with completely isolating yourself. Still date and have fun but don't depend on it is the main point. You can't continue to date when not getting dates is the entire premise of the issue to begin with. Its mathematically impossible. If you just knock dating down five or six notches on the ol priority list, your be AMAZED how quickly your overall level of happiness rises. I used to worry about being alone. I used to get sad when I remembered I don't have anyone to talk to my day about or cuddle with or have marathon sex sessions. Then I realized it was just making my life worse to worry about that all the time. I stopped caring about my lack of responses in online dating. I stopped caring that I am bad at meeting new people, and have a stagnant pool women that I know. I'm so much happier... its not even funny. I don't have any negativity in my life like that anymore. As a result, I worry and stress less, which has already led to me taking advantage of a fantastic life advancement opportunity in the form of a lucrative career bring laid out on front of me, all because I stopped focusing so much on the bad AKA lack of female attention. Success breeds confidence, and confidence breeds success. When you are happy with life, and happy with you, you become so much more attractive. 1
Stay Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 You can't continue to date when not getting dates is the entire premise of the issue to begin with. Its mathematically impossible. If you just knock dating down five or six notches on the ol priority list, your be AMAZED how quickly your overall level of happiness rises. I used to worry about being alone. I used to get sad when I remembered I don't have anyone to talk to my day about or cuddle with or have marathon sex sessions. Then I realized it was just making my life worse to worry about that all the time. I stopped caring about my lack of responses in online dating. I stopped caring that I am bad at meeting new people, and have a stagnant pool women that I know. I'm so much happier... its not even funny. I don't have any negativity in my life like that anymore. As a result, I worry and stress less, which has already led to me taking advantage of a fantastic life advancement opportunity in the form of a lucrative career bring laid out on front of me, all because I stopped focusing so much on the bad AKA lack of female attention. Success breeds confidence, and confidence breeds success. When you are happy with life, and happy with you, you become so much more attractive. True. But do you go to school and never read or do homework? No, in order to better yourself you gotta be committed. He or anyone needs to improve in getting to know people, putting yourself out there and understand how to talk to people especially girls. You don't need to put dating as a priority but at least put some work into building a group of girls. If you want something you don't sit back and wait for it to fall on your lap you go out and get it. So if he wants to date he doesn't sit around and wait to be older for older women to like him. Work on towards achieving your goal and improving yourself as a man that women are attracted to. You don't have to pick one or the other, you can still date and be happy and confident with your life.
Copelandsanity Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 The best way to approach dating is as a learning process. If you become too results-oriented, you end up developing a self-confidence that is brittle and easily shattered from a future rejection. You tell yourself, "I'm bad at meeting people," or "I suck at dating." But by focusing on dating - or any subject of life, for that matter - as something that can be mastered through a journey of strategic effort, it becomes more of a fun and exciting challenge.
StanMusial Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 I agree with you but I wouldn't necessarily say kill all opportunities and be alone. You can't just be alone and hope someone will walk into your life. You gotta put yourself out there also so although you're somewhat right I'd have to disagree with completely isolating yourself. Still date and have fun but don't depend on it is the main point. Just do what you do and see if any girls will come along for the ride. For example, I can recall plenty of times warming up in a bar and chatting up girls and telling them, "Hey, we're going dancing over at the club, you gals should check it out." Plenty of times they would follow us over and we would all have fun. I didn't care if they came along or not really. That's not only true for bars/clubs either. I dated a girl in my running group once after I told her I was going to stop on the way home and get a beer. Because that's what I intended to do whether or not she or anyone came along. Her and her friend joined me and we ended up hitting it off.
Michael91 Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 For online dating, I don't just go for the pretty ones, I go for the highest match percentage, and for women who have similar interests. I've dated some women that were unattractive, but I liked them because we had similar interests and enjoyed each others company, at the time. To me looks aren't everything, I look for more then that. I believe the way it works is that you have a minimum standard for looks, below which she is not acceptable. If she passes that, other things become more important than additional looks. It is all a matter of your minimum standard. I am convinced that it would be easy to date big or homely girls that you don't find attractive enough to date. The thing is, we all learn over time the approximate looks available to us and we don't like to accept a lot less and too often seek the max. That may not apply to 9s and 10s since 8s, 9s, and 10s are attractive enough for most everyone. Therefore, even though 10s are available to other 10s, an 8 is acceptable to a 10.
Chubbi Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 I'm not gonna lie: it's crazy that so many men have trouble finding dates. It's mind-boggling. Are women dating the same guys over and over? I mean, even guys I talk to at school talk about how hard just finding a date is, just a date, and they are regular guys, not creeps at all. Why aren't women interested? 2
Stay Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 I'm not gonna lie: it's crazy that so many men have trouble finding dates. It's mind-boggling. Are women dating the same guys over and over? I mean, even guys I talk to at school talk about how hard just finding a date is, just a date, and they are regular guys, not creeps at all. Why aren't women interested? No women have choices so if guys don't take action and go after what they want they'll never get it. Getting a date isn't difficult, getting the courage to talk and get that first date is.
Keenly Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 No women have choices so if guys don't take action and go after what they want they'll never get it. Getting a date isn't difficult, getting the courage to talk and get that first date is. Dating and dating strategies are not one size fits all answers. What works for some will not work for others.
kart180 Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 I am self made geek, Graduate of computing from uni and programming since a young age but I still single, Happy for now but maybe when I am around 40 it maybe cause problems.
Esoteric Elf Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 You really disparaged your label of "nerd/geek" when you used "your" as the general population tends to On a serious note, men like you are not in a good position to find a girl your age. Not until you reach perhaps your mid-30's, will many girls finally tire of the good-looking/athletic/muscular/funny/etc. guys who cannot commit. In an effort to find commitment, they may stumble upon you, but I would say, as aforementioned, you still have a few years yet. Intelligence is not really a turn-on, unless it is being put to secure use (i.e. encroaching upon high-dollar salaries, etc.). In the meantime, why not workout a bit?
Woggle Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 Date a geeky woman and move to a more liberal city.
Author collegeguy_24 Posted March 11, 2014 Author Posted March 11, 2014 Date a geeky woman and move to a more liberal city. The only geeky woman who even likes me doesn't do relationships at all. I've been friend zoned. Also, I can't afford to move now, which sucks.
Author collegeguy_24 Posted March 11, 2014 Author Posted March 11, 2014 (edited) You really disparaged your label of "nerd/geek" when you used "your" as the general population tends to On a serious note, men like you are not in a good position to find a girl your age. Not until you reach perhaps your mid-30's, will many girls finally tire of the good-looking/athletic/muscular/funny/etc. guys who cannot commit. In an effort to find commitment, they may stumble upon you, but I would say, as aforementioned, you still have a few years yet. Intelligence is not really a turn-on, unless it is being put to secure use (i.e. encroaching upon high-dollar salaries, etc.). In the meantime, why not workout a bit? I have actually tried working out, for a year I spent hours in the gym, everyday with my brother. He gained muscle, but I didn't gain a single pound. I eventually went to the doctor, and well, I am physically unable to gain weight. Fat or muscle, my body just won't allow it, so I am always skinny. I also don't really want to wait till I am in my mid 30s. Because the way you make it sound, it seems the women will be tired of being used, tired of sex, and just settle for me after they feel all used up. So I won't get what I want, which is love, respect, and sex, but they just settle. I do not want to be someones fallback, I have enough self respect to say no to being a fall back. Edited March 11, 2014 by collegeguy_24
Hello_is_it_me Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 Don't limit yourself to just geeky stuff! Learn to enjoy some outdoor activities! The more well-rounded you are the more you'll have in common with all types of peoples!
Ashiyana Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 My ex was a nerd/book-worm. I find them extremely attractive!
Els Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 So for example, I am out grocery shopping, I see an attractive woman, I should just walk up and say, "HI, I just wanted to let you know I think your beautiful, and I thought I would tell you before I lost my nerve." Something like that? Errrrrr... No, that would really not get the response you are hoping for. Do you go out and talk to folks much at all? Surely you'd see how odd this line sounds if you did? 3
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