Alone in Chicago Posted January 25, 2005 Posted January 25, 2005 I just came off a 2 1/2 year relationship, but we were good friends (even kissing at times) for over 7! She initiated it, first by staying out all night without calling and then finally admitted she didn't love me "as much" after I insisted on an explanation for her recent behavior. To make matters worse we had just moved into an apartment together. Now after convincing her ONE of us HAS to move out and in all fairness it should be her since she left me, she is being slow to pack up her stuff. She is living at a friends now and this person is leaving her the apartment after her friend goes to college this summer, but right now she doesn't have room for all her stuff. Fair enough, I say, but please just at least pack up your stuff. It's really painful to see all her things around; makeup still in the bathroom, collectables, some clothes, etc, etc. But whenever I try to get her to do this she complains there is nowhere to put it, it's a pain in the ass to move stuff, blah blah blah. She has packed up some of her stuff though. She also has been reluctant to talk to the landlord with me to get her off the lease. Also, she makes no secret about the fact that she is angry to be the one to move out and makes me feel like a bad guy inall of this. My question I guess is, how hard should I push her to get her **** packed and ready to go, and how can I really make her see that I'm not doing this to be mean (if I had my way we'd still be together)? Also, she still wants to be friends and says she still loves me but doesn't want to be in a serious relationship right now and claims that she still thinks that we have a chance in the long-run. Should I just ask her to stop saying that 'cause it hurts when she gives me false hope? I feel so ****ty right now about so many issues. Any guidance?
L1234 Posted January 25, 2005 Posted January 25, 2005 I know all to well how you feel. Love is not having to say, "maybe in the long run we'll have a chance." She is obviously wanting to see what else is out there and if she finds nothing she knows she possibly has you to fall back on. I know it hurts to be reminded of her by her things, but you have to move on. You need to tell her either to pick up her things or you are getting rid of them. She is the one who decided she didn't want to be in a relationship not you. Stop beating yourself up over someone who obviously doesn't give a damn about you or your feelings. I'm sure you're a great person and there is someone out there who will love you and want to be with you!
tattoomytoe Posted January 26, 2005 Posted January 26, 2005 tell her to pay a storage fee, and if she is on the lease you may want her name off.
Scott S Posted January 26, 2005 Posted January 26, 2005 Sorry to hear that. Get some boxes, from work, U-haul, etc. & pack her personal effects up in them, labeling the boxes as to the content. Now, you can either store the boxes in an unused area of the apartment (space permitting, of course) or better yet, have her parents store them at their house. Either way, they're now out of sight, & therefore hopefully out of mind. Sorry for my recent absence from the LS board. Tax season is now underway, so...
poister Posted January 26, 2005 Posted January 26, 2005 I agree with Scott: if she won't pack herself, do it for her. If she then refuses to take the items, tell her she has a fixed deadline to pick them up, or you will give the items to charity. Good luck; hopefully having her things gone will provide the first necessary steps for moving on.
Alone in Chicago Posted January 26, 2005 Posted January 26, 2005 Thanks everyone. This has been so confusing for me. It's nice to hear SOME feedback. I just moved here to Chicago and have few friends (yet) and I didn't know where to go for advice. I just can't believe she's being so obstinent. I thought I knew her soooooo well!She is coming over tonight to talk to the landlord (finally)
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