pickflicker Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 To those of you who have had your dumper coming back to you wanting to try again, how long after the breakup did it occur? I don't think there's been a consistent timeline with the few that have come back. I think the length of the relationship is a better indicator. If you dated a few months, they may take longer to come back, or usually, not at all. If you dated a few years, there's an excellent chance of them resurfacing, because the investment is higher. 1
somedude81 Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 I don't think there's been a consistent timeline with the few that have come back. I think the length of the relationship is a better indicator. If you dated a few months, they may take longer to come back, or usually, not at all. If you dated a few years, there's an excellent chance of them resurfacing, because the investment is higher. Are those the people that keep breaking up and getting back together again? Random thought, I figure that my ex has a better chance of getting back with the guy before me, than of getting back with me. I was only six months of her life, while he was three years. She hasn't even been broken up from him for a full year yet.
Simon Phoenix Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 There's no telling. I know of couples who dated for a few years who never talked again after the breakup. I also know of couples that had shorter relationships that reunited after significant time and the relationship stuck for good. I really don't think there's a reliable metric to say who will come back in some way and who will never come back. In my experience, there's no pattern. I know of three reconciliations that worked for the long haul. 1) Buddy of mine. Dated for three months, had a falling out with his girlfriend because he was hung up on his ex at the time and his girlfriend dumped him. Spent 7-8 months apart, started hanging out as friends, eventually started dating again and got married three years later (last summer, I got nice and toasted at the wedding). 2) My sister. Dated a guy for a year, he broke up with her. He tried to get her back immediately, she told him to pound sand and was in very LC for about a year (her best friend was dating one of his best friends, so a complete NC wasn't possible, but she did about as well as she could have). She dated another guy, it didn't take. A year after the break her ex came back around. She gave him a shot, he showed that he changed. They have been dating three years, living together for a year-and-half and are getting married next week. 3) A friend of a friend dated a woman for a few months in high school. Life took them in different directions, as he got married and had a couple of kids and she might have gotten married (not sure). 20 years later they ran into each other, were both single, so started dating again. Have dated for a few years since and I think they might be engaged. So yeah, no real pattern, which is why it's best not to sit back and wait, because there's nothing you can rely on. Best to live life the best you can then to let it go by waiting for something that probably won't come. 2
pickflicker Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 Are those the people that keep breaking up and getting back together again? Random thought, I figure that my ex has a better chance of getting back with the guy before me, than of getting back with me. I was only six months of her life, while he was three years. She hasn't even been broken up from him for a full year yet. Not necessarily. There are couples that break up once and get back together once. Re: your ex, yes, that's probably a fair assessment. 1
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