Muhib Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 I posted my problem before here but I am in strange problems,the thing is that I am in a relation with a cyber world she wants to come to my country she already did a lot of mistakes but the thing is that I also love her deeply as I wanted to marry her she too but what can I do ? She's 18 years old and I'm 23 people says to let it go they are just ur ideas,key strokes, but how I can finish my emotional feelings we wanted to meet in July or August she said she will send me a visa with the help of her grand father and she says I admit what I did I want to forget it and I'm virgin I just did a mistake couple of times she admited some Skype conversation with boys she says I'm really sorry just give me a last chance I will make ur trust again. My point is should I continue it and its also hard for me to leave me I will never find some one else again. I am afraid to love someone again. I have posted before too here every one says to leave but please is there any situation. I will be helpfull to you.
mano Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 Why do u need advice when you dont listen to it? Look u are driven by your emotions, these people over here have given you the best advice n they are right. Its your call, do what you want. I can relate to your situation even better because i belong to the same society that u r in ! Its Pakistan, that girl has been raised up in a totally different environment. Let it go please, its for your best.
d0nnivain Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 She's young & immature. Of course she is going to make mistakes. If she is coming to your country at her expense, go ahead & meet her. In person she might not be the woman you know from cyber space. If she expects you to pay for her trip, that is a red flag. 2
justwhoiam Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 (edited) Muhib, you are showing signs of great discomfort in your own home and with people whom you relate to. 1) You keep saying your girlfriend has cheated on you, because she met a guy twice. The first time he was nice, maybe she thought she made a friend. The second time he tried to rape her. Instead of supporting your girlfriend about the scare she got, you accused her of cheating on you. 2) You first say you love this girl, then you'd rather find a way to get rid of her, because you're obsessed with her. I'm not sure this is real love. When you love, you need patience, forgiveness, good feelings, optimism... 3) You have deeper social issues, you said you were bullied and no one takes you seriously even in your own home. Stop caring about what they say. Start taking action. Find a couple of goals in your life, like finding a good match and a good job doing something you like. You are 23, so I guess you might already have a career or a career path ahead of you. 4) You stopped seeing two friends because you started having different views. I understand it can be difficult and it's advisable to hang out and around with people like yourself, with whom you can share a hobby or stuff you like... Well, then actively look for someone whom you can connect with. I don't know if you live in a big city or in a small town. Ask one of your brothers to come along to a couple of places, if you can. Once you get familiar with some place, you can make new friends. It might be in a new community, for instance if there's some association helping people or children. I'm sure you'd find good girls there, with a big heart. Start going out and making new friends. This is all you are looking for: a new life, a change in your life and for the better. When you start feeling better in your shoes, you will look at the relationship with your cyber girl differently. I don't know if she's good for you or not. Only you can really tell, if you've been talking to her for 2 years. But do not build castles in the air before meeting her in real life. She might not be attracted to you physically, there might not be chemistry between you two, and it would only be a poor, unhappy marriage. Edited March 10, 2014 by justwhoiam
FitChick Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 Yes, if her Muslim parents let her fly to you and pay for the trip, no harm in meeting. Where would she stay? But don't Muslims arrange marriages for their children? It might be pointless. 1
mano Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 Even if ur muslim parents agree, the girl will not be able to adjust over here. I know the society and environment here. Its best to let go. U need to go out. Have a change in ur lifestyle rather than clinging onto this person and being obsessed with her because u r insecure. Listen to your family, if they r completely supporting u. Then no harm in meeting. Best of luck.
Author Muhib Posted March 16, 2014 Author Posted March 16, 2014 @ Justwhoiam Thank you so much for giving me such a brief advice I'm trying to change my inner self but things are extreme complicated she admits that she's wrong and people says find a girl near like I am buying some thing I am not a kind of a person who can easily get adjusted @Mano I know it's Pakistan so she knows every thing she is not Muslim I told million times that ur Culture and Our cultures are different she says I know every thing so it's like this but I still didn't ended up with her we decided to wait she said If she gets an Admission in the University she will send me a visa to come to her and if she didn't she will come to me. Now when I said to her how u are going to arrange all these money and documents she said I will talk to my Uncle and Grand Paa I know that sounds quite amateur and when I said its difficult she said you don't beleive me I am not stupid and regarding the CHEATING issue I just barried it. So I gave her last chance I know u all will say I'm Still wrong but every thing takes time. I am just praying to Allah I hope things will work I will be posting here my updates.
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